By Stephanie Trembath, Life and Style Editor hristmas is fast approaching along with the glory of putting together festive outfits to wear to dinners, parties, and other gift-exchanging events. The little black dress is the immediate go-to outfit for every busy girl, so it is usually the accessories that make or break the outfit (unless of course you have a killer pair of shoes). Rather than the usual bells, ruffles, and glitter (which will make you look like you stepped out of a JCrew magazine), try wearing something a little more obscure, a little more outside your comfort zone, and a little quirky/sexy for your Christmas events this year. Unintentionally I came across a designer who immediately caught my attention due to his intricate and obscure pieces of jewellery. Instead of using gleaming stones, glittering jewels, and twisted ropes of silver and gold, this New York based designer searches for the most mundane objects to transform into unique pieces of jewellery to be worn. If you want to make a bold statement, or have a built in ice breaker for your Christmas parties this season, simply purchase one of Kiel Mead’s necklaces. You’ll either be regarded as the modern medusa with the funky jewellery, or remembered as the weird girl who showed up wearing a gold retainer around her neck. After designing for six years, at the young age of 24 Kiel Mead is one of New York’s newest and most popular jewellery and furniture designers. His jewellery pieces stand out as they contrast traditional ideas of jewellery; although delicate and gold, his necklaces do not sport hearts, or sapphire pendants, or diamond encrusted stones. Instead, Mead has become increasingly popular for his off-beat idea to utilize ordinary objects to create something delicate and wearable around your neck. 10 | life and styie Style Watch: Quirky/Sexy Slip of the ruffles and slip on a cock! His collection includes a silver chain with a pendant that resembles a chewed up piece of bubble gum in bright pink for $100; a gold retainer (reminiscent of those embarrassing days of puberty) for $300; and a mouth-guard, which includes indents of teeth for $200. Like Mead, Vivienne Westwood recently designed a spiffy little necklace I like to refer to as the “penis pendant”, because it is exactly that. Westwood, who previously designed a tiny silver satyr riding a large black cock, came out with a lovely silver chain-necklace baring a provocative pendant. As it is Vivienne Westwood, this little cock comes with a big price tag; it certainly isn’t cheap to be different. If you cannot afford to waste your entire month’s rent on a piece of quirky jewellery, but you still want to look sexy, do not worry, you’re not alone. Instead I plan on seducing an SFU football player into giving me his mouth guard (or a lacrosse player, depending on level of cuteness), picking gum off a bus-stop seat, and if all else fails, I can always spray paint my pink retainer gold and slip it onto a long chain necklace I already have. Viola; sexy/quirky me with my already-been- chewed-bubble-gum-retainer-dirty-mouth- guard-necklace paired with black dress and boots. I will have to suffer without the cock. Burlesquapades By Stephanie Trembath, Life and Style Editor Te dating game: (insert sarcasm here) such a glorious way to meet new people and spend time getting to know your soon-to-be significant other. I am being slightly dramatic, but I have witnessed too many disappointed friends after experiencing yet another bad date, and I am referring to both my male and female friends. At the very least, bad dates act as a tool to learn what-not-to-do in the future, but for those of you who do not subject yourselves to the dating game on a regular basis (well you are obviously smarter than the rest of us) and I will enlighten you with a few tips to bear in mind. First, I feel the need to enlighten my audience with the inspiration for this article. A friend of mine (I will call her X) went out on a date with a successful SFU graduate who is currently working on his masters (I will refer to successful good looking male as Y). Facts: after coffee my friend agreed to go out with “Y”. After their first date, my friend further agreed to a second date with “Y”. The second date did not go so well as a result of the location. Successful good looking “Y” decided to take my blond haired, blue eyed “X” to a burlesque show for the second date. A burlesque show with your girlfriends is outrageous and fun. A burlesque show with your boyfriend is kinky. A burlesque show with a man you barely know is weird. And awkward. And extremely uncomfortable as a result of the excessive nudity, nipple tassels flying all which ways, and feathers just barely covering the genitals. Needless to say, “X” left halfway into the show (she survived almost an hour) before thanking “Y” for his time, and leaving alone. To this day “Y” has not called, and “X” does not want him to. If you are of the “Y” chromosomes; - You must always pay for the first date. I am sorry, but it appears cheap if you don’t, and at risk of kicking myself back to the 1920’s, women expect it. Women may still preach their feministic equality, but this does not apply to the first date. - Women do not want to see other women naked when you are with her. Ever. Unless you have been together a long time and are completely and absolutely devoted and comfortable with each other. Yes, some women enjoy strip clubs, but in that case it is usually in a group when multiple drinks have been consumed. Walk your date to the car, or the door, or the bus, or at the very least the exit of the building you are in. When a woman has to leave a date early a bad taste fills the mouth. When a woman has to leave a bad date early by herself, and walk herself to her car in the dark outside, a very bad taste fills the mouth. The taste is described as rage. If you are of the “X” chromosomes; Do not set your expectations so high; women are prone to setting teally high standards (thanks to the fairy tales we grew up with we are all searching for our dark and handsome prince charming) which results in an extreme sense of failure and loss when our expectations (dreams) are shattered. I am not saying lower your expectations; just make sure you are being realistic in what you want. For the love of God, order something normal on the menu. Hide your picky habits and have a burger for one night, or sip a beer, or whatever it takes to not be one of those “I’d like a grande low-fat, semi-sweet, two-pump, extra-hot, no-whip but lots of drizzle, white- mocha-americano’s”. It reads as HIGH MAINTENANCE. I am one of those high maintenacey types, and trust me, it is a huge turnoff. (I don’t ever order that drink though, mine is less intense).