issue 31 // volume 43 humour // no. 23 The ‘Other Press: Civil War’ > Decades after the triumph of Laura Melley, the paper has fallen into chaos once more Mike LeMike Humour Contributor Tr office of the Other Press has b come a war zone once again, with no end in sight as the battle rages on. “There's a time for peace, and a time for not peace,” previous Assistant Editor and current Fifth battalion leader Chandler Walter was overheard saying Monday afternoon. “This is a time for throwing things at people until they fall in line, and I for one am ready and prepared to do just that.” The conflict started when current Editor in Chief Lauren Kelly (who was hired largely for her resemblance to Other Press hero Laura Melley, as well as her extensive grammatical prowess—but really, the Laura Melley thing was way more important) announced she was stepping down. “T mean, it wasn’t meant to bea surprise or anything,” said Kelly, fighting to be heard over the sound of battle. “Editors- in-Chiefs are only supposed to take the post for a year... honestly, it would have been way more of a plot twist if I decided not to go. I don’t know what happened.” Moments after announcing her imminent departure, sources say a member of the paper—currently theorized to be Humour Editor Rebecca Peterson, who was last seen holed up ina sniper nest built from stacks of Other Press back copies and strategically balanced bookshelves—shouted “Power vacuum! It's The Purge!” and proceeded to flip over a table, sparking what has now become an all-out war between coworkers and friends. As it stands right now, missives from Staff Reporter-turned-War Correspondent Aaron Guillen suggest that the News, Opinions, and Sports Editors (Mercedes Deutscher, Cazzy Lewchuk, and Davie Wong respectively) have formed a commando hit squad and have claimed the office couch as their territory. Arts Editor Caroline Ho has apparently been valiantly shielding the production team from errant airborne missiles while they struggle to get the paper printed and distributed on time. Life and Style Editor Brittney MacDonald has been largely left untouched by the conflict; a single unconscious Staff Writer at her feet serving as a testament to her fighting skills as well as effectively warding off further attempts to draw her in to combat. Meanwhile, Fifth battalion leader Chandler Walter has been leading the Flawless masterpiece by Mike LeMike remaining Staff Writers and contributors to victory, presumably, though what that victory will look like is unclear. “Quite honestly, we're not really sure what’s going on here,” said Staff Writer— now Lance Corporal—Jessica Berget, ina whispered statement through the office door. “No one knows what our positions are anymore, or what we're fighting for... Chandler keeps making really empowering speeches and Rebecca keeps throwing badly made paper airplanes at people. Greg’s on the floor somewhere, Carlos is putting together a ‘Civil War’ playlist, apparently, Jony’s trying to figure out who's getting the most social media hits, and Ed’s just sketching the whole thing and laughing his head off. Honestly I have no idea what the paper is going to look like after all of this, or who's going to be doing what.” Production of ‘Rick and Morty’ season three halted due to loss of MS Paint > Popular cartoon relied heavily on outdated Microsoft program Chandler Walter Assistant Editor iewers, fans, and especially redditors were outraged at the news that beloved adult cartoon Rick and Morty would not be running further episodes of its long-awaited third season. The show released the first episode of season three on April 1 in a backwards April Fool’s joke, and has since aired its second episode this past Sunday. What show- runners did not take into consideration, however, was the imminent demise of Microsoft Paint. “Basically all of our animation is done through MSP” said Rick and Morty co-creator Dan Harmon. “We thought it would be funny to use it, as most of this show is just us fucking around anyway. Now there’s no way to move forward with the third episode” Harmon broke the news in a press release shortly after airing Sunday night’s episode. “We regret to inform the public that the adventures or Rick, Morty, Summer, Beth, and, yes, Mr. Poopy Butthole will be put on hold for the foreseeable future,” the statement read. “Our animation department is doing everything in their power to adapt to alternative software, but Microsoft Paint has long been a fixture in the creation of this cartoon. We ask that everyone be patient during the extended delays, as we estimate the time it will take to transition to this new production model will be at least, like, a year and a half.” In an attempt to appease the masses, Harmon and co-creator Justin Roiland then released a 10-episode long spinoff series following the adventures of fan-favourite Jerry Smith as he comes to terms with losing his family. “Yeah, we spent most of the break putting together Jerry's Jamboree: The Show as a way to procrastinate making the third season,” Roiland confided in an interview. “We actually completed 10 full half-hour long episodes of that before getting around to starting on animation for R and M, and then... well... ‘MSPaintGate’ hit.” The 10 episodes of Jerry’s Jamboree: The Show are available for full streaming on Netflix, though fans were disheartened when they realized that not Rick nor Morty made an appearance at any time during the series. “We really wanted to delve into the man that Jerry is,’ Harmon said. “It was important to really flesh out his character before merging him back in with the rest of the cast. Most of the episodes are just Jerry by himself, actually, doing his hilarious Jerry things.” It seems that, for now, all fans can do is hope. UPDATE: After an outpouring of Rick and Morty fans voiced their concerns over the elimination of MS Paint, Microsoft decided that it would allow the software to live on through an app in the Microsoft Store. This Image via Adult Swim es change means that season three of Rick and Morty will be back under production, though when asked when the third episode would be ready, Harmon simply stated: “Yeah, we should probably get around to that.”