To the Editor 13/1/74
Mad Hatter

Innovative Politics - Sequel

Dear Madam:

I am truly overwhelmed by the massive response I received to my first attempt

to be innovative in politics. Dr. Udokang's reply to my poor effort may some-
how be compared to using a battery of heavy artillery in reaction to a sling-
shot but the missive of the Douglas College Welsh Association needs a thorough
_@xamination for its hidden implications. On the surface there ought‘to be few
objections to the annexation of Wales by Canada; if the Caicos and Turks Islands
can manage to get a sponsor in the House of Commons, so can, surely, Wales.
Furthermore, the British government, beset by its own miners, terrorists, Irish
of various brands, and a continuous financial crisis, probably would only be too
glad if somebody relieved it of some of its problems. Also, the Welsh are at ~
least as closely related to the Canadians as are the Papuans to the Australians.
Nor ought there to be a problem as to what to do with Wales: the British, with
their instinctive wisdam, knew what New South Wales was good for; surely, the
Canadians will know what to do with the mother country.

However, aS a result of my contacts with DOUCOSS (Douglas College Secret Service)
which shares information with.the CIA I am forced to review my originally
entirely favourable attitude and sound a note of caution. Evidence obtained from
those reliable sources reveals a shocking picture of intrigue. Apparently the
attempts of the cokoiurful UFACERMMOCAWM - a name at least as Welsh as Machynlleth
or Aberystwyth - represent an attempt by David Williams and Donovan Jones to

take over Canada. David's avowed aim is to use Canada's growing oil revenues for
the purchase of as many books as possible (not necessarily for reading, for he

is aware of the classical remark by the company sergeant of the last war who,
when he surprised a general duty private reading a book in the unit library,
admonished him with the words: " Them books are for dusting and rearranging, not
reading ") while Donovan would use the federal power to force philosophy -
mainly Welsh philosophy, of course - upon every public school system throughout
the country as. a compulsory subject from grades 1-12. The hidden grey eminence
behind all this activity is, however, nobody but Bill ("Dylan") Day who hag
conceived a scheme of making College education compulsory for all Canadians

from cradle to grave and who would not hesitate to use the RCMP to enforce

his plan.

UFACERMMOCAWM's suggestion of Lloyd George as leader sounds justified in the
light of the argument presented in its favour; however, I know that another
person is groomed secretly for the job ( again, according to DOUCOSS ): David
Burton is expected to arouse sufficient popular support by his sex appeal
(since there are doubts whether David, Donovan, and Bill would,(to quite the
“same extent) as democratic conventions must be observed, at least initially.
This, of course, opens up vistas which boggle the imagination.

In revealing this scheme I hope to have rendered a great service to Canada's body
politic; whatever the outcome, I wish to warn my fellow-Canadians. We may
survive the incorporation of Wales but if we are foolish enough to introduce

the Welsh rarebit as well, we all may die of poisoning.

George ("Camillus") Porges