Shis issue:

(Y Post-apocalyptic fantasy picks

Been told you're too funny?

Contact: Sharon Miki, Humour Editor

eee Tae M4 humour@theotherpress.ca

(Y ‘It’s basically fall—which means it’s almost the winter of my life’ www. theotherpress.ca

And more!

iTones accidentally auto-distributes
sensual Bono boudoir pics

 

» ‘We still haven't found what we're looking for; say customers

Sharon Miki
Humour Editor
WM humour
@theotherpress.ca

 

| alf-a-billion iTones

customers awoke to a sexy

surprise Tuesday morning when :

the company accidentally auto-
distributed provocative images
of U2 frontman, Bono, to their

devices.

“I woke up, it was really a
beautiful day, and I took out my
phone, and—bam—there was
a whole gallery of saucy pics of
Bono?” said iTones customer,
Leah Blog. “To be honest, the
pictures left a lot to be desired,”
added Blog. “I don’t know what
they were trying to do, but I
would say that they still haven’t
found what they’re looking
for—at least when it comes to
seductive Bono pics.”

The move is surprising but
not unprecedented: earlier this
month, U2 auto-distributed
copies of their latest album,
Songs of Innocence, to the same
cohort of customers. While
iTones and Bono have yet to
release an official explanation

..1t seems that some
insider must have
just assumed that
Bono wanted to
force his “art” onto
everyone without
their request or
permission.

for the boudoir-pics release, it
:; seems that some insider must

: have just assumed that Bono

: wanted to force his “art” onto

: everyone without their request
: or permission.

Customer reactions

have generally ranged from

: ambivalent to outraged, with

; many customers feeling violated
: at being given sexy images of a

: celebrity, when they're used to

: having to hack them.

“I mean, yeah, sure—I

definitely spent a lot of time

: looking for those nudes of

: Jennifer Lawrence—but when

: you just give them to me, they

: lose a lot of that naughty appeal,”
: explained outraged iTones

: customer Steve Goodguy.

 

Top 10 ways to tell you're a kid of the ‘90s...

» The 1890s

Sharon Miki
Humour Editor
WM humour
@theotherpress.ca

 

1. You have friends named
Bessie, Mildred, Ernest, and
Elmer—and they weren't
named retro-ironically

2. Your room was covered in
Teen Beat posers of Oscar
Wilde

3. You drink cocaine-
infused Coca-Cola for its
medicinal qualities

4. Your foxtrot is totally on
point

5. You’ve never heard of
Twilight, but you were really
into Dracula

6. You had like three
wooden balls, and
they were your prized
possessions

7. You can name all the
coolest ragtime bands

8. Your favourite swear
word was cockchafer

g. You wore a lot of mauve

10. Today, you are almost
certainly a ghost