ace 18

 

Coquitiam This Week
My Crappy-ass Suburban Jobs

Brady Ehler, Coquitlam Correspondent

When I first moved down to the
coast, I was set on finding a cool job.
I didn’t care if it was a low-paying
cool job, just as long as it bestowed
some small amount of sheik—and
didn’t involve much heavy lifting.

In retrospect, my idea of a cool
job at the time was a little skewed.
My short list included: Video Store
Clerk, and Coffee Shop worker.
Eventually, years later, I realized my
dream of slinging coffee, only to real-
ize it was a pretty lame job, but I
never made video store clerk.

The other job that I thought
would be really cool was working at a
music store. I still think that would
be a pretty sweet gig. Unfortunately,
as I learned in my early job-hunting
days in the Tri-Cities, all the cool jobs
are taken. Between coffee shops,
video stores, and music stores, I must
have handed out over one hundred
fifty resumes in five months. What’s
worse is I didn’t even get an inter-
view.

It’s fucking hard to score a cool
job in the Tri-Cities; the HMV in the
mall gets twenty resumés a day. The
Starbucks will periodically hold hiring
fairs, at high schools, and half of the
student population will show up.
Long story short—if you don’t have
an in, forget about it.

So, for nearly three-and-a-half
years, I had to content myself chop-

 

ping vegetables and peeling potatoes.
I have had to clean fryers and stock
cereal at night. I’ve sorted dirty old
auto parts and arranged them on pal-
lets. I’ve cleaned soot off ceilings
with sponges and cleaned floors with
mops (sometimes with no soap). I’ve
cleaned up dog shit and piss, usually
with little thanks.

Throughout my endless string of
terrible Tri-City jobs, I have, save
ONE occasion, had to take orders
from at least one complete dipstick.
Because of asshole bosses, or my dis-
pleasure with boring or tedious work,
I have (except for that one job) not
held on to a single job for more than
three months since I’ve moved here.

Fortunately, I’ve finally acquired a
cool job, working at pub. It’s great, I
get to listen to live music, screw
around, and be social. But guess
what? It’s downtown. What a shock-
er, huh?

I should also mention I’ve been
writing for your friendly campus
newspaper for three semesters now,
for which I receive a small amount of
money. It’s been a lot of fun, but it’s
time for me to move on. So, if you’re
a writer, and enjoy artistic freedom,
apply for the Coquitlam position, you
might even get to meet yours truly. If
you're cute, I'll even give you an auto-
graph.

 

 

    
   

snew CD you
Hate?

Know about
something?

F Now’s your

* chance!

email:
othereditor@yahoo.c
for more information.

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