December 3, 2003 Culture ¢ the other press © IN THE —Declared a Dud b Yo urs Kerry Evans Managing Editor From a child’s point of view, this film is a hit. Funny voices, animation, potty humour, and a happy ending are included in this self-pro- claimed entertainment. From a movie connois- seurs point of view, it stinks. I could really appreciate the amazing sets, the costume and make-up design, and the animation; the new cartoonish features seem to be all too familiar, though. The faces are much too similar to those from the Grinch. While I can recognize the great strides that have been made in anima- tion techniques, I was hoping to see something a bit more original. The actual storyline of Dr. Seuss’s The Cat in the Hat was lost in the translation from book to film. I understand that a few pages of a story- book are not easily turned into a Hollywood hit, but I think that there was a real opportu- nity to stick to the facts in this instance and really go with it, but it just didn’t happen. Mike Meyers’ character “cat” even announces in his first few lines of the movie that he’s not very good at rhyming, and then for the rest of the movie the rhyming is almost completely omit- ted. Hmm...what ever happened to the Cat in the Hat theme? Let’s turn to the writing, or rather the lack of an intelligent storyline. The most disturbing part of the script is omission of offensive phras- es. At one point, Meyers refers to his balls say- ing only “b-a—” while cupping with his hands. At another point he intends to say, “I am going to kick some ass,” but instead says, “I am going to kick some a-ha-ha-ha.” How many kids wanted to know the last word? Or worse, how many did know? The only lines I found somewhat entertain- ing were those delivered by the fish, voiced by Sean Hayes, who also played Kelly Preston's boss. One of my favourite lines from the movie—ironically the same clip that you've all been seeing on the television—is when Dakota Fanning says, “Hey, the fish is talking,” and Meyers responds, “Yes, but is he really saying anything? No, not really.” Gee, couldn't have said it better myself—Is this movie entertain- ing? No, not really. Meyers’ own personality was far too overpowering. This was not Cat in the Hat, this was Myers dressed up as a cat doing shtick. My last jab at this movie is at the too-cute Dakota Fanning. I hate to pick on a kid, but this is just too easy to let slide. Fanning has played the same type of character in the three movies—I am Sam, Uptown Girls, and now Cat in the Hat. She plays the girl who doesn’t know how to have fun, then learns to have fun, then regrets it, and then she receives her moral of the story. To be typecast as a child actor is just sad. What is even sadder is that there are so many movies for her to be cast in. Don't get me wrong, she does a fantastic job but I wish we could get a chance to see her range once in a while. All in all. Everyone’s job gets done. The actors deliver their lines with enthusiasm, but is it enough to make me purchase the movie when it’s released on DVD? No, not really. Bif Naked’s Early Morning Zoo: Vancouver's newest DJ Trevor Hargreaves OP Contributor Ever wonder what a professional musician does to occupy their time when they arent touring? In the case of Bif Naked, she took a job as a morning DJ on Vancouver radio station 99.3 CFOX FM. “I guest-hosted in the summer and they asked me if I was interest- ed in doing something on a more full-time basis,” explained Bif. “It’s pretty cool, I spend weekday morn- ings doing the show from 6-10am, then I work out at the gym and head over to the studio to lay down vocal tracks for my new album.” As the newest member of “The Fox Morning Show,” she’s teamed with veteran Fox DJs Jeff O'Neil and Tod Hancock. She may be an experienced musician, but the radio job is putting her through her paces. “It’s pretty crazy for me because those guys are so experienced and I’m brand-new. But I’ve been work- ing hard and I’m getting pretty comfortable on air.” For Bif, the big problem with tak- ing a morning job is maintaining the “rock-and-roll lifestyle.” “Tve only been doing this for a few weeks and it’s already present- ing certain challenges,” she says tiredly. “When big events like the Headbanger's Ball come to town, I want to attend. But it’s pretty hard to stay out all night and be at work http://www.otherpress.ca really early.” ne has to give the ol’ Bif some credit. Most people become musi- cians to avoid her kind of schedule. Besides juggling the music and DJ careers, she’s also got a record label to manage. “My label (Her Royal Majesty’s Records) is doing pretty well,” she explained. “Unfortunately the band Live On Release broke up over the summer and they were on my ros- ter, but Brit Black from L.O.R. has taken on duties playing guitar in my band. I’m actively looking for new bands to sign right now.” With the success of the “girl- band” format on Bif’s label, it seems she’s still interested in signing ass- kickin’, female rock combos. “You find me a rock group of girls that doesn’t suck and I'll sign them today,” says Bif offhandedly. “The girl rock-group format is something I really like, but it’s tough to find bands that make the grade. We are actually in the process of signing a few bands right now, but I don’t want to announce them since the deals aren't fully inked. Rest assured my label’s roster will be a little big- ger pretty soon.” Vancouver-area residents can lis- ten to Bif on Fox, Monday to Friday from 6-10am. Elsewhere in Canada, the station can be streamed via the web at . Page 15