Continued from Pg 11

me want to gouge out my own
eyeballs. Hey, it seemed a more
productive and less annoying way
to spend the afternoon. So, imag-
ine my joy when Mr. Iain W. Reeve
says to me, “We got four free
passes to see The Pink Panther
YAY! Let’s go!” Oh, wait. Did I
say joy? I meant that vomity feel-
ing you get in your stomach, like
when you eat too much old meat
and cheese.

So, the night came around and
Iain and I hopped on the Number
10 bus that runs down Hastings.
On the way, I tried to calm myself
and just try and get through the
impending film. Like anyone in a
sense of dread, I told stupid jokes.
Did you know that the Liberty
Market has a sign that says “Food
Smokes Corn?” Yep.
Interesting...anyway, we got off
the bus and walked up to
Tinseltown on the edge of
Cracktown. We got into the the-
atre and got our seats.

Now, you know how some-
times you dread something hap-
pening, and when it happens it’s
not as bad as you thought it would
be? You're relieved. That’s great
when that happens, eh? This was
not one of those times. Steve
Martin was annoying as Inspector
Clouseau. Beyonce was annoying
as Xania. Everyone was annoying
as everyone. Except Clive Owen,
who made a surprise appearance.
Oh Clive Owen, you almost made
it all better. I used to think that
Clive Owen could save any film, I
mean, that voice! But no, I was
wrong. He cannot save any film as
he did not, could not, save this
one.

The story was stupid and pre-
dictable. The humour was slap-
stick and childish. “Ooooh, you
know what would be really funny?
A man with a heavy French accent
trying to pronounce words, but he
can’t!” Uh no. There was one
scene in which I laughed, and it
was more at the absurdity of the
situation than at the actual
humour of the scene. This is pos-
sibly the most annoying of all The
Pink Panther films ever made, and
as I already stated, they were
annoying beforehand. I award this
film no points, and may God have
mercy on its soul.

 

 

 

Perry Bible Fellowship

Nicolas Gurewitch

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