November 9th, 1984 “‘Is a woman’s life easy?’’ asked the research- -er. ‘‘Why of course. My wife manages perfectly. We have four children, an nice home and boy can she ever cook up a storm! She sure knows how to by OMAR SHARIFF MOHAMMED treat a man right when he has come home from a hard day of work. She does her work, and | do mine. We get along just fine, she’s no feminist.’’ answered the construction worker. __ (A family of equality)...paints too rosy a picture of the rn family and the situation of women in marriage and family. With respect to women, _ we encounter the old problems of egret ' whether the glass is half empty or half full: shoul we congratulate ourselves on the ress we have made towards equality, or should we be | concerned with the distance we have yet to go before we reach real equality between the sexés?: (Women) have generally taken the second view and have pointed out that sociologists of the family (who are usually male) have exaggerated and overdrawn the advances which women have made within and without the family, econom- ically, legally and socially (Huber, 1973), They are more likely to point to the unequal strains which marriage and child rearing place on women, how women’s position within the family is essentially subservient and exploitative and what a good “‘deal’’ men get from marriage (Eichler, 1973). Jessie Bernard (1972), for example, describes what she calls His marriage and Her marriage, two radically different definitions of the same situation. Essentially what she is arguin that you will get cancer; if you are a woman, get married and have children and you raise appreciably the chances that you will become mentally and physically ill. (People, Power and Process, p. 302.). Thus, marriage falls especially heavily on women and turns them into what Hanah Gavron (1966) called ‘‘captive wives.’’...Without a moth- er or sister nearby, women are thrown on their own resources in a way unprecedented in Western history. As various studies reveal, women at home are trapped in colourless suburbs, their only intimate friend, their husband, who may or may not sympathize with their situation. Whether he is sympathetic or not, he is asked to take ‘on the emotional burden formerly spread out over several people. (People, Power and Process, 303). : Society places considerable emphasis on achieved occupational status, housework and _ being a mother seems to be a job with very low prestige (Eichler, 1973), or is subsumed by, made dependent on, the husband’s occupation, be it of high or low status. Especially in the middle class, then, having to say that one is ‘‘just a housewife’ is, indeed, problematic. It is not likely to make one the centre of attraction at a cocktail party, for instance, but, more crucially, the housewife role is one which seems purposely built to undermine the confidence of those who practise it. (People, Power and Process, 303). Morgan (1975: 141-142) notes that: The job is rp unpaid and carried out in the relative isolation from others, with the exception of children who may be defined as ‘‘getting in the way.’’ With a split between home and work we get a loss of an objective standard by which to measure oneself and one’s actions. Status is not a fixed thing, a static evaluation, but an ongoing accomplish- ment. Where there are relatively few others who are in a position to evaluate one’s work and activity, one’s status and identity becomes much less certain. (p. 302). Thus, a housewife may be compared to a class which has not become ‘‘aware of itself’’ or conscious of its objective interests. Isolated and separate from one another, housewives begin to view their problems--boredom ‘and dissatisfac- tion, depression and low self-esteem, fear to try anything new and feelings of uselessness--as “‘private’’ troubles rather than as ‘‘public’’ issues. (People, Power and Process, 302). THE OTHER PRESS Nor is the situation of working wives without problems. Research which has looked at what people actually do, rather than what they say they do, shows that the egalitarian family is an overly optimistic concept. For instance, two Canadian studies, on the East Coast, one on the West Coast, come up with the unexpected findings that when women go out to work, men’s work and leisure time shows very little change (Meissner and Others, 1975: Clark and Harvey, 1976). Rather, what seems to happen is that men go on much as they did when their wives were at home whereas women’s work increases dramatically. Overall, the amount of time spent on housework declines somewhat, but men do not take on extra jobs around the house. They continue to do the same stereotyped jobs--washing the car, mowing the lawn, shovelling snow--that they have ‘‘always’’ done, while women simply work much harder. And, even when men do take on extra jobs page 13 Women in the eighties around the house this is usually in the form of ‘‘helping out’’: doing dishes, putting the children to bed once in a while, reading them a story, cooking the odd meal. Rarely, it seems, do husbands take equal responsibility for planning the week’s menu, setting up dental appointments for the children, redecorating the living room and so forth. In sum, while men are quite obviously more family oriented than in the past, more involved with child care and the running and maintenance of the home, we have some way to go before it can be said that the typical marriage is in fact, an equalitarian marriage. (People, Power and Process, 303). N.B. Many thanks to Marian Exmann, Women’s Centre Coordinator, who supplied invaluable material for the creation of this news feature. She can_ be reached at 520-5486 or in Room 2720 of the Douglas College Women’s Centre. is:.,: smoke, and you raise dramatically the fikelthood a Counselling Resources DOUGLAS COLLEGE WOMEN’S CENTRE Phone: 520-5486 -support groups for: mature women, stress. special needs women, -counselling and referral services. -extensive library of women’s periodical literature. -for further information contact Marian Exmann at 520-5486 or stop by the Women’s Centre in Room 2720. NORTH SHORE LIVING AND LEARNING CENTRE Phone: 926-5495 LIFE (Life Is For Everyone) Phone: 873-5013 UNITARIAN FAMILY LIFE ‘CENTRE Phone: 266-5611 LANGLEY FAMILY SERVICES ASSOCIATION Phone: 534-7921 General Resources BATTERED WOMEN’S SUPPORT SERVICES Phone: 734-1574 -support groups for women who have been battered. -educational workshops for women who want to develop services for battered women, profes- sionals and the public. -#301-2515 Burrard Street, Vancouver.