Life & Style. Have a fitness tip or recipe to share? Contact the editor at lifeandstyle@theotherpress.ca Between the Sheets: five solid pieces of sex advice from five popular songs By Viv Steele, Sex Jockey here did you learn about sex? Probably from a 40-something educator in a mayonnaise-coloured high school classroom, and your instruction probably included a diagram of the uterus and a shapeless wooden penis upon which to roll a condom. So where are you supposed to go to learn about good sex? Never fear, Between the Sheets has got you covered, with five hot and juicy sex tips from five of your fave pop stars! 1. “Touch me and gimme that rush, better pack a toothbrush, gonna pull an all-nighter.” — Kesha At first listen, the track “C’mon” by Kesha seems like a simple song about hooking up, but going deeper, it’s actually a well-written ode to preparation and oral hygiene on-the-go. The sassy, pro-sex songstress likes to get a little crazy, but “C’mon” contains some super-positive messages about taking control of your sexuality, like the chorus that states, “We're both going home satisfied.” Kesha’s getting her orgasm whether she has to stay up all night or not. And afterwards, she’ll brush her teeth and go home. 2. “Gotta be compatible.” — Ginuwine I haven’t heard such great advice since the last time I read one of my own articles! “Pony” by Ginuwine is an oldie but a goodie, a danceable treatise on grindalicious chick-on-top action. Above all, the song promotes teamwork, weaving a sophisticated metaphor where he’s the horse and she’s the jockey and they’re bolting for the finish line together. The focus on compatibility is key, because as we all know, sometimes things just don’t click. Ginuwine also promotes foreplay: “You and your body, every single portion.” Yum—not to mention the song is incredible to fuck to. 3. “Lick my pussy and my crack.” —Khia Another classic R&B raunch track coming to you from 2002, Khia’s “My Neck, My Back (Lick It)” really drives the point home. She wants you to lick her pussy and her crack, and she’s not afraid to say it about 21 times. The real meat of this song is in the chorus, but in the first verse she makes sure to provide some specific direction: “Then you roll your tongue from the crack back to the front, then suck it off ‘til I shake and cum.” Noted. 4, “You looking for a real pussy eater? I can be it.” -Danny Brown If Khia’s modus operandi is to tell you what she wants, newcomer Danny Brown’s “1 Will’ provides even more details on how to get her there. Brown’s track promotes utter abandon. “I go dumb and ignorant when I’m on that clitoris,” says Brown. The key, according to Brown and Khia, is to involve some ass play. “Lick your ass delirious, my tongue game so damn serious.” Serious it is. Promoting enthusiasm, dedication, and a willingness to try new things, Danny Brown’s lyrics contain several tips that are crucial to providing a satisfying cunnilingus experience. 5, “Striptease for me baby.” — Hawksley Workman Canadian pouty bad boy Hawksley Workman’s rock and roll entry on my list may seem a little tame compared to the R&B onslaught of sex, but maybe it’s a good idea to calm you all down. And the song “Strip Tease” does offer some excellent advice, although it’s mostly contained in the chorus. Workman wants his girlfriend to striptease for him, which I think is a sentiment that a lot of folks can agree with. Ladies, when you're practicing to striptease for your partner, keep in mind that this song by Workman is an excellent jam to take your clothes off to. Actually, any of the songs on this list will do. Are you sensing a theme here? Good sex. It’s equal parts compatibility, preparedness, and reckless abandon. And for the love of God, eat pussy. Program Spotlight: In plain sight Print Futures: Professional Writing By Monica Rolinski, Contributor e are an integral part of the activities and general career excitement at Douglas College’s New Westminster campus. We’ve been around for 21 years. You may have spotted us in the hallway entering the secret code on the finger pad that stands guard over the inner sanctum of our workroom. Also known as the clubhouse, it’s cool to have, but it’d be cooler if it was a tree house or a bubble dome or something. You’ve probably even shuffled along with some of us in lineups for coffee, food, books, or the free stuff we sometimes get in the concourse. We've sold chocolates, held bake sales, and hosted a variety of other fundraising events, and we will continue to do these things. One of our most popular fundraising efforts takes place during some of the DSU pub nights. At these events you will most often see us smiling, 14 chatting, and generally have a great time as we check your coats and bags for you. It’s by donation, and we thank you so much. You may even have stumbled into one of our yearly portfolio shows. These shows belong to our graduates in a lot of ways. We get to create, design, and showcase the fruits of two years of intensive labour. The portfolio show is held in the Amelia Douglas Gallery at the New Westminster Campus; it’s usually held in April, and is a must-see for the friends and family of this program’s grads. Do you know who we are yet? You've probably guessed by now. We’re the Print Futures: Professional Writing students. And, yes, our portfolio show is the place to be in April. A lot of us are involved in many projects at Douglas College. Our efforts are reflected in so many ways and in places that might surprise you. Examples of how and where we've left our mark on this great college would help, so I’ll gather some up, get permissions, and present them in a few weeks right here in The Other Press. Keep an eye out!