drive the knife home. I paused and looked at my prey. It
hung there, still. No flapping, no attempted escapes, not
even a cluck of defiance. “Oh well,” I thought, “it’s just the
way things sometimes are.” I drove the knife up through
the beak and into the brain of the fowl, which died a quick
and (hopefully) painless death almost instantaneously.
Ever since, ’ve been enjoying the hell out of a largely veg-
etarian diet that sometimes includes chicken, turkey, fish,
and even the occasional side of double-thick, maple-
smoked bacon.

I realize that one kill does not a hunter make, but I also
remember that kill every time I order meat. I’m OK with
my chicken burgers now. I’ve made my peace.

 

 

= ne

 

 

 

Enough with the Olympics Already

Amanda Aikman, OP Contributor

Bad Luck? S
Te eee
Or was It...

RTT

   

 

Oh man, with all the recent hul-
labaloo over the 2010 Winter
Olympic Games set to descend
on our home province, I had for-
gotten how annoying the regular
Olympics could be. What’s the

big deal exactly? A bunch of

people in ugly outfits get togeth-
er to run, jump, swim, throw
stuff, and have their urine tested.
Why should I have to miss two
weeks of Days of Our Lives and
Coronation Street for that?

And it’s not just the pre-
empting of my favourite soap
operas that pisses me off either.
It’s the phony, bloated, ceremoni-
al flavour of the whole
obnoxious event. Am I really
supposed to swell with national
pride at the drop of a sappy
musical montage? Am I abnor-
mal if I don’t get teary-eyed
every time some Neanderthal
with a maple leaf on his wind-
breaker bites down on a gold
medal? So some chick from the
same country as me can jump
higher or pedal a bicycle faster
than some chick from another
country—what possible impact
is that meant to have on me?

Is it intended to inspire me to
quit my job and take up beach
volleyball as a viable career alter-
native? Am I meant to see the
value of rewarding people who

have chosen to focus on person-
al physical achievements rather
than on the intellectual, humani-
tarian, creative, or spiritual ones
that could actually have benefited
the rest of society? Or, am I just
supposed to shut up and go buy
a lot of Coca Cola, McDonalds,
and ROOTS products?

Physical fitness is swell; don’t
get me wrong. I think it is impor-
tant that people take care of their
bodies and all that. I’m all for
camaraderie, honour, goodwill,
and free trips to Athens too. I
just don’t understand why every-
one insists on making a big show
of putting jocks up on pedestals
(literally) every four years.

In the interest of fairness,
however, I suppose I should own
up to the fact that I went to GM
Place to watch the broadcast of
the Canada/US men’s Olympic
gold-medal hockey game in 2002.
I drank beer and waved a flag
around like any good Canadian,
Vl admit it. But that doesn’t
mean I’m proud of myself; it just
means I’m a hypocrite. Besides, I
don’t think that really counts. I
mean, let’s be honest, hockey’s a
whole different ball game than
synchronized swimming.

OUNEFPPESS | 9