issue 19// vol 47 opinions // no. 15 Britain's new reject pile >» O Canada, our home and native land filled with British undesirables Matthew Fraser Opinions Editor AS? was famously a British prison island; for decades only the most unruly and corrupted were sent to the British colony to serve out their days. Over time, these former royal subjects developed a system and identity of their own to distinguish themselves from their previous overlords. Apparently, Canada will soon be the destination for many new British rejects and undesirables. This time, instead of bank robbers, rapists, murderers, and arsonists— Canada will have the honour of being the home to a useless royal, his oft criticized spouse, a jihadist... and his mother. Why ascribe much worth or respect to royals? If the theory is that your claim to fame is coming out of a womb tied to an antiquated aristocracy that owns next to nothing and subsists off of tax dollars... you probably don't contribute anything to society most care about. Also, who cares for the spouses of famous people? If your claim to fame is sharing a marital bed with someone who did something, you probably don't contribute anything to society either. In simple terms, Prince Harry is the son of a deceased millionaire, and is popularly known for wearing a Nazi costume at a Halloween party. His wife is an actress (in some things I’ve never seen) who is seemingly disrespected by British tabloids (and a few pundits) for being ever so slightly blacker than the average The horrible ‘modern’ Coquitlam porcelain teacup. Given the proceeding lines, I have no choice but to consider the Duke and Duchess of Sussex to be useless normal people with more than their allotted share of fame and print time. Truly, Prince Harry is a celebrity by happenstance and Meghan Markle has not really ascended to a level that justifies her interceding into the daily news cycle. They are unwanted in the country that actually cares about their royal status... why should we care about their deconsecrated status if they move to Canada? Now, its all fun and games for your grandmother to wave her favorite handkerchief at the passing royal carriage, but we should take the repatriation of a potential Jihadi much more seriously. Cue Jack Letts, better known in the media as “Jihadi Jack.” In 2014, Letts traveled to Syria allegedly to join ISIS; shortly thereafter, he and a number of other western born ISIS members were arrested and have been held in Syria since. At the time Jack held British citizenship via birth in the UK and Canadian citizenship via his father. After his identity was revealed, a massive public outcry prompted British parliament to rescind his citizenship. His mother, » How Coquitlam squandered its chance at having a truly functional library Craig Allan Staff Writer his month, I found myself with a problem. Even though I had studied like crazy, I didn’t feel like I was ready for my midterms (considering I failed the very test I was studying for, I was certainly not ready), so I decided to study on a Sunday. Normally I would go to the Douglas College library at the Coquitlam Campus, but the library, along with the entire campus itself, is closed on Sundays. This meant that I had to journey down to the Coquitlam Public Library (CPL) on Pinetree. Rarely does one come across such a poorly built building in this century, but the CPL may very well be one of the most impoverished design structures of the last decade. First comes the parking. Now this library is right across the street from the Lincoln Skytrain Station, but it was easier for me to drive. The parking is good at the building, but it has an annoying catch; if you stay longer than four hours, you must ask for an extension. This involves going to the help desk, getting paper proof that you need to stay longer, going back to your car just to put it in the window. Instead of getting the spot number, or just putting your licence plate in a database, you have to leave the library just to prove you have been there for four hours. This is annoying is because the following factor: the shockingly low amount of study space. The CPL opened in 2o12, replacing the “library” that was located at city hall. At that time, it was clear to see where libraries were heading. E-books were exploding in popularity, and everyone could see that they were going to bea big part of the future. Yet, when this library was built, they seemed to build it under the guise that it was a exclusively for books. However, a modern library is a place where you can go and study, get a computer, and plug in your laptop. Unfortunately, most of the floor space at CPL consists of books, and the study space seems to be squeezed in as an afterthought. There are 10 desks near a wall that have an outlet on them but that’s it. The rest of the tables just seem to be placed wherever the library could find the room. One glaring example of this are the tables set near a large computer room; these tables were clearly not meant to be study tables. Hell, one part of it has drawers so you can’t even put your feet under the desk. Another part has a seating area where the table can’t be much more than 17 centimetres. Now, the problem with having to leave to update parking becomes clear. In order to do it, I had to give up my prime studying space to go put the extension on my car. Douglas College, please open the campuses on Sundays so I don’t have to go to this putrid library ever again. It’s disappointing, because the city had a chance to make a truly modern library, but they squandered it to build a library of the past. The books should have been put into a storage area on site, and if someone Sally Lane, has petitioned the Canadian government to bring her son to Canada for sentencing and punishment. However, before this (against the warnings of her own government), she sent her son money in the midst of his terrorist career. In the court of law that’s called aiding a terrorist organization. | certainly emphasize with the love of a mother for her child, but I don’t emphasize with someone who would knowingly use their hard- earned money in a way that could benefit an organization directly responsible for the deaths of thousands of innocent people. If Britain doesn’t want him back due to his role in Syria, there is no reason to be excited for his arrival in Ottawa. So, where does that leave us—the lowly taxpaying Canadian? We certainly have little say in the ordeal. Well, in one situation, we have a couple who really don’t deserve their current level of fame, moving here with partial expense (potentially) paid by our tax dollars. The other is a situation where in the best light possible, a foolish young man and his mother want to move here—with some uncertain help from our tax dollars—as their last available haven. Ina worst light, a terrorist and his obliging mother want to move here as their last available haven—with some uncertain help from our tax dollars. Either way, Canada is now the home for British undesirables—with some uncertain help from our tax dollars. Library wanted a specific book, a librarian could go and get that book. Instead, they decided to put the books front and centre—and in doing so, created an outdated library... obsolete from opening day onward. Photo by Billy Bui