© "other press >>> OPINIONS

When Love Goes Bad

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Erin Culhane
Opinions Editor

Ah, new love. You know that wonderful feeling
you get when you fall in love for the first time, or
maybe the second or third? You're oblivious to
the rest of the world and you just can’t believe
how lucky you are. Hmm...! get all warm and
fuzzy just thinking about it.

For some, that groovy, new-love feeling lasts
for a few months, for others it doesn’t wear off for
years. And maybe for a few, it lasts forever.

When (or if) it does run out, you might be left
with nice, comfortable love. Or maybe the
relationship ends, and you just move on.

Science Matters

 

Regardless of what transpired during the
relationship, you should be able to say "It’s over,"
and have it end with that.

I've been thinking a lot about Alicia Jobb, the
young woman who was abducted last month
and, thankfully, released relatively unharmed.
I've been thinking not just about the trauma she
has endured the last while, but what she says
her relationship with her ex-boyfriend Ernest
Meigs was like. Why couldn't she just say, "It's
over," and move on with her life?

I'm sure she had that new love feeling with
Meigs. She described him as "a nice guy" in the
beginning, but during their seven-month
relationship, Meigs went from Mr. Nice Guy to a
controlling and possessive boyfriend.

In an interview, Jobb said, "I never thought
he was capable of doing this." (The Province,
May 14) While she may not have thought he
was capable of atrocious things, she knew
better than to stay with him. She admitted it
wasn't easy to break free of the relationship
and when she finally left, she didn’t tell him
where she was going.

You know, | think our culture is obsessed
with women being nice. Even when placed in
a situation that is bad for her, a woman will
often prolong it, possibly risking her life. Jobb
was smart—she got out. But for many
women, it’s too embarrassing to admit they
are enduring abuse, whether it be physical or
emotional. Women aren’t really encouraged

Time to Pull Our Heads Out of the Sand

 

 

 

David Suzuki

What is the biggest environmental
challenge of the 21st century? Global
warming? The loss of biodiversity? Resource
depletion? Pollution? No one really knows.

Probably the sum of all these. But I'm
beginning to think one of the biggest
challenges is overcoming the fact that people
are tired of all the depressing news about the
environment.

The prevailing scientific opinion is that
we're quite rapidly depleting many of the
resources we depend on for our well-being.
We've heard variations on these stories over
and over to the point that it's all become quite
overwhelming. In fact, many people have
stopped paying attention and the media has
stopped reporting all but the most frightening
predictions.

Pundits and the public often lambaste the
media for focussing on bad news. But | think
a real problem is not so much the focus on

to ask for help, or to complain, and there is a
certain stigma attached to admitting to being
abused or needing help.

So where’s the solution? | tend to think it’s
too late for this generation, but hold out hope
for our kids. Children know it’s wrong to hit—
we tell them often enough. ("Don’t hit your
sister." "Stop punching your brother.") But do
we prepare them for the insidious ways
that people can control each other through
emotional abuse? We should.

And while | don’t want to upset any men,
because | know they too suffer from abuse at
the hands of their partners, | think we should
be concentrating on preparing girls for
dealing with abuse.

Abuse isn’t just a punch in the head. If
Prince Charming has a bad day and it makes -
him feel better to call you ugly, fat or stupid—
that’s abuse. If he berates you in front of your
friends, or makes you feel worthless or tells
you what you can and can’t do—that’s abuse.

We should be encouraging girls to tell any-
one who will listen if they are afraid and that
it's okay to let the police know if they feel
threatened.

We can’t undo the past, but we can learn
from it. Alicia Jobb will never forget the
horrible events that have transpired. Neither
should we. And with education, awareness
and a "we’re not going to take any crap"
attitude, maybe we can shape the future.

the negative, but the focus on conflict and
controversy—especially in science. So, for
example, while 99 per cent of climate
scientists think global warming is a serious
problem that needs to be addressed, the
media love to focus on the few who disagree.

Let me give another example. Earlier this
spring a European statistician wrote a book
saying that the global environment is healthy
and actually improving. The many scientists,
environmentalists and citizens who worry
about most environmental problems are
misguided, he argued. They just don't
understand nature like he does.

In spite of the facts that this man is not an

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