life & style // 14

It's you, it's you, it’s all for you

» What's a victim to do on Valentine's Day?

Angela Espinoza
Contributor

“They say that the world was
built for two/ only worth living
if somebody is loving you” —
Lana Del Rey, “Video Games”

ike any other “holiday,”

Valentine’s Day is only as
meaningful as you make it.
There are certainly couples and

single people alike who couldn't: :
: myself, especially on sucha
sensitive topic, but I don’t think :
: ’'m alone in deciding that one’s
: early 20’s are an unrealistic

care less about what February

14 is supposed to represent. But :

if you let the feeling get to you,
it does indeed suck to be single

on what is essentially a national :
: of romance—regardless of
: whatever horrible things some
: partner might have done to
: make you think that love is out

day of romance. Even worse, if
your last relationship happened
to involve cheaters, emotional
abusers, or physical abusers,

“sucks” isa bit of alight termto :

describe the feelings that come
up when Valentine’s Day looms
on the horizon.

Now, it’s not my intention

to rip Valentine’s Day away from :
anyone excited to celebrate. My :
: assault. What they all have in
: common is that someone has
: been severely hurt; their self-
: esteem, their ability to trust,

: and myriad other aspects of

intention for this article is to
try to find some kind of light
in what, for a lot of people,
might currently be a difficult
time of the year. For some,

Valentine’s Day might not mean :

anything. But for anyone else
feeling weighed down by the
visual representations of love
everywhere, Valentine’s Day is a
little depressing.

Whether youre still in or

: have since left an unhealthy

: relationship, the feeling of

: love, whatever it meant to

: you, might have since been

: skewed. I’m not sure what |

: used to think victims of abusive
: relationships did after the

: relationship ended—perhaps
: most people don’t think about
: it, since that’s a dark place for
: somebody’s mind to wander.

I can’t speak for anyone but

time to abandon all notions

of the cards for you.
There is a terribly broad

range of lousy things one :
: partner can do to another; lying :
: and cheating are shitty, but

they’re not illegal. Others are
a crime, like physical or sexual

their lives have been damaged.
What makes the coping

* process all the more difficult

is that it’s uncommon to think
that a victim of an unhealthy
relationship might actually
want to love or even
just be sexual

: again—and this being a

: traditionally romantic time of

: the year, one might be thinking,
: “What do I do now?”

No one, not even the great

: minds at Yahoo Answers, can

: tell you specifically how to

: move on from the experience

: (or even the person). Not to

: sound like a pompous ass, but

: this sort of process does require
: a great deal of soul searching.

: There are going to bea lot of

: bad days, and there are going

to bea lot of good days, but, to

: get to the point, what are you
: supposed to do on February 14?

Personally speaking, I’m

likely going to be feeling a little

: crappy on Valentine’s Day,

: because I’m the kind of “post-

: shitty relationship” person

: who puts weight on that sort of
: thing. I don’t recommend doing
: the same; I’m not insisting you

seek a date if you're not ready

: for one, but I’m not insisting
: you sulk and feel sorry for
: yourself, either.

If youre trying to move on

with your love life and leave

: negativity behind, Valentine’s

: Day is just another day, albeit

: one with more pink and red

: (and couples) everywhere. The
: only person who matters on

* Valentine’s Day, or any of the

other 364 days for that matter,
is you, and you take each of
those days one at a time.

theotherpress.ca

   
 
   
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
  
 
 
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
  
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  

L&S LISTED:
10 best

public
places :
to

hat’s more romantic than making love?

Making love under city lights in the
middle of the most romantic city in Pacific
Northwest Canada, that’s what! Here’s the
Other Press's top 10 list of public places to get
your freak on this Valentine’s Day—for when
cheap hotels just don’t cut it anymore, you
crazy thrill-seekers. (Disclaimer: the Other Press

in no way endorses public nudity, indecency,
or drunkenness.)

Bathroom at Chapters on Robson

 

Bathroom at the
New Amsterdam Café

 

Prospect Point, Stanley Park
UBC library stacks
_ Wreck Beach (bring a blanket)

_ Sunset Beach (at sunset)

 

 

 

 

_ Starlight Drive-In Theatre (in Langley)

 

Hastings Steam & Sauna

 

_ The boxing ring in the basement
of the Astoria

10. The Night Bus