CELE 3 : : — : ici

Gender studies for sleazebags

Girl time, boy time,
Is that the difference between you and me?

—Talking Heads

OTHER NORMAL GUY: Yeah, but she’s not that good looking, and she’s like, 300

M,; life, in terms of employment, is filled with sharp contrasts. For eight months of pounds.
the year, I am a student right here at Douglas College, in the Print Futures program. But ©ME NORMALLY: True. I am not that attracted to her.

during the summer months, I am a warehouseman, stacking boxes and ‘driving forklifts As opposed to...
for a company that ships specialty foods. ME AFTER A HARD DAY WORKING IN THE WAREHOUSE: Dude, do you see that
While having a summer job that’s completely unrelated to your field of study is chick over there?

no big deal for a Douglas student, I like to think that the contrasting nature of these two OTHER WAREHOUSE DIRTBAG: Yeah, and she’s fine! She’s only like 300 pounds,
occupations has given me a little bit of insight about life in general, and in particular, the and if she just waxed that upper lip, I’d totally bone her!

differences between men and women. ME AFTER A HARD DAY WORKING IN THE WAREHOUSE: Me too! Now if you'll
It’s because of the kinds of people who are in these two occupations; in Print excuse me, I’m going to go home and bathe with a toaster.

Futures, | am one of only two guys in my class (Seymour, represent), and the women in ‘ Sad, isn’t it? There’s nothing worse than losing your standards because you forget

my class are generally respectable and well educated. This is a notable difference from what your standards are. Then again, when the bear’s hungry, the bear feeds.

the dirty old bastards at the warehouse, who usually have prior convictions, and almost But I guess working in a total sausage fest isn’t so bad. I mean, there’s never any

certainly failed Grade 3. drama when it’s just guys. Actually, that’s not true. But, everyone is sure to maintain a

As evidence of the day-and-night difference between my student life and my warehouse _ certain level of competence. No, sorry, also not true; half the guys in the warehouse are

life, here’s an example of a typical conversation in my Print Futures class: missing at least one finger. Now that I think about it, there’s really nothing good about

PRINT FUTURES LADY: God, last night I did all my readings for today, and it was working with dudes. Well, that’s not true; when it’s just dudes at the warehouse, nobody

really hard. gets choked at you when you bring hardcore pornography to the job site.

ME: That’s lame. Frankly, they encourage it.

PRINT FUTURES LADY: Yeah. Also, I’m really concerned about the health of my dog.

ME: That’s super-lame. Your friend in high fidelity,

Seems pretty normal, right? Usual things that people talk about, a coherent exchange, no

graphic obscenities. Liam Britten

Now, here’s a typical conversation I could have with a co-worker in the warehouse: Editor in Chief

WAREHOUSE DIRTBAG: Dude, last aah totally found some awesome lesbo ~ _ The Other Press

and it was really sweet. - .

ME: That’s awesome!

WAREHOUSE DIRTBAG: Yeah! And just like, five minutes ago, | totally stunk up the
bathroom when I took a huge shit. :

ME: That’s super-awesome!

Notice the difference? I’m not sure what it is, but I think that there’s seriously
something about being in a large, concrete box with nothing but dudes for eight hours
a day that makes a mind regress into idiocy. It changes your way of thinking into
something juvenile and buffoonish, but at the same time, into something awesome and
hilarious.

I think the most alarming thing that being surrounded by dudes all day does to
you is the way it changes your thoughts on women. | don’t mean it makes you gay or
anything, but it does change your perspective on things. It’s a phenomenon I like to
call “warehouse hotness,” that changes any woman a warehouse worker sees into the
hottest woman he’s ever seen. It doesn’t matter how ugly, big, hairy or unpleasant she is,
because when a dude’s been in a dank warehouse all day, that woman has just become
smokin’ by default.

Another example:
ME NORMALLY: Dude, do you see that chick over there?

 

X

 

 

The students’ union
Book Swap is back and
its online!

Go to www douglasstiidentsunior).cato sign up; click on the
“book swap” link, and buy and sell your textbooks today.

Please note: To facilitate the success of this Book Swap service on-line, and in the effort to pro-
vide “one-stop” shopping for the benefit of ali students, the students’ union will be continuing its
bulletin board policy of poster removals which advertise used textbooks for sale.

Don't miss out - go on-line today!

DOUGLAS STUDENTS’ UNION
CANADIAN FEDERATION OF STUDENTS - Loca. 18