Democrats are Wimps Sth Speaking of walking down memory lane, do you remember that scene in Fahrenheit 911 when the Black members of Congress from Florida were tabling motions to continue the recount to elect Al Gore, but couldn’t get a single Democratic senator to sign their motion? People outside cried in outrage: “Fix! Hail to the thief! Did you see what happened on Friends last night?” And then the outrage was over. Well, don’t go telling me that democracy ain’t cool, especially after watching Ukrainians march the streets for their right to a free and democratic elec- tion. The second round of Ukrainian presidential elec- tions were held November 21, and since then, all democracy has broken loose. Results initially showed that pro-Moscow Viktor Yanukovich had won the election. Yay, Kremlin and ties to the old soviet guard. But now the Ukrainian Supreme Court is withholding the release of the results due to wide- spread accusations of electoral fraud and corruption. Yanukovich cannot be sworn in until the results have been released. Supporters of the second candidate, pro-Europe Viktor Yushchenko, have taken to the streets in protest of the fix. Some parts of the country are ina full general strike. In the nation’s capital of Kiev, hundreds of thousands marched in protest, while 30,000 took to the streets in Kharviv; 10,000 walked in Lviv; and 2,000 marched in Luhansk. Demonstrations have also taken place across Canada, where nearly one million Ukrainian descendents live. The global community is watching events in Kiev with grave concern, as conditions are perfect for some hard-core civil warring. Buses filled with young men have been sitting idly by in the streets of Kiev, leading some to believe that a battle is brewing. Take that you namby-pamby Democrats. Oooh, you made a sign. And it rhymed? Hey hey, ho ho; If we can’t have Kerry, we'll just watch HBO. G | ObnerpPess Photo by Ruslan Tracz News Wears Short Shorts Brandon Ferguson, News Editor Two in the Hand, One Finger for Bush It only took one re-election, two wars, and three long years for George W. Bush to return to the Maritimes and thank Canadians for their help in the immediate after- math of 9/11. When the FAA ceased all air travel following the ter- rofist tragedy, nearly 250 aircraft were diverted to Canadian airports, leaving 44,000 travelers stranded in the Atlantic Provinces. Many were put up in people’s homes for days. You may recall that following 9/11, Dubya gave a speech that thanked just about everybody but Canada. Our sensibilities were rat- tled—I mean, who did that guy think he was? That'd be like Raekwon accepting a Soul Train award and not giving a shout out to his Wu-Tang peeps. But what did we cate? ODB’s dead and W’s dumb. However, the people of the Atlantic were integral in assisting with the immediate, non-political response to the bombings. Now, it’s payback. President Bush will be in Halifax on Wednesday, perhaps even as you read this paper. After a night in Ottawa with PM Paul Martin on Tuesday, Bush plans to give a speech of thanks to the maritimers for their support. On behalf of all the Canadians screwed over by the soft- wood lumber tariff and mad-cow trade embargo, peaceful protests are planning to tell Bush: “Thanks, but no thanks, eh?” One of the intended protests was set for Tuesday, where the Halifax Peace Coalition planned to stage a mock war-crimes trial. A larger demonstration was planned for Wednesday. It was unknown as of press time whether Bush—who turned down an invitation to speak before Parliament for fear booed—was going to simply give his speech from the airport runway, or if he might dare wander amid (gasp!) regular folk. Bush will be met in Halifax by Martin, ever the eager beaver. Expect huge peaceful protests, with a dash of pent-up anarchy, and just a pinch of “F-U, W’s”. There’s your rallying cry. That one’s for free. of being Dirty Birds Attention perverts, porno geeks, and voyeurs: UBC has a building for you. A testament to invasion of privacy is ‘being built on the southern edge of campus, standing high over the trees that protect Wreck Beach from pub- lic view. Construction has already begun, and Wreck Beach locals are getting their panties in a knot...er...are getting hot under the Disregarding the policies of the Local Government Act, UBC has not put the plan to a public hearing, although it has formed a working group to comment on the project. I don’t know what that means, but I think it’s code for “Dirty old white men sneaking peaks at all the naked peeps over some Pabst Blue Ribbon and pizza.” On top of the perversion, the development may also put eagle nests (or “aeries,” according to my crossword puzzle) at risk. The tree- tops are nested in yearly by those beautiful symbols of American flee- dom, obviously drawn to the area by its spacious greens, vast views, and hordes and hordes of naked folk. Judy Williams, who acts as presi- dent of the Wreck Beach Preservation Society when not prancing about in all her sweet free- for-public-consumption naked glory, is pissed at the plan’s violation of the Wreckers’ freedom. “To have buildings marginally visible is just as disastrous,” she said, refuting the UBC assertion that only a few floors would be above the tree tops. Geez lady—it’s not like every floor can peep you. Those on the side of naked self- determination hope to retard the building’s size and prevent it from clearing the treetops. UBC represen- tative Dennis Pavlich has promised that the university will hold an infor- mation session, BYOPP (Bring Your Own Pabst and Pizza). Lara Tessaro, lawyer for the Wreck Beach Preservation Society, says that’s not good enough. “The official community plan and park plan make it clear that when there are potential negative impacts from development, there must be a full public review,’ she said, referring to the GVRD’s rules set for the particular region UBC is in. As the controversy grows and the building is erected, you can expect this story to get much more exposure. Sweet, sexy, jump-up-and- down-please exposure. Pervs. pecembper = 1/A00n