© the other press ¢ Features Pleasures and Pitfalls of Work-at-Home Dads Heidi Hoff OP Contributor A series of clicks and a long hum signal the start of my husband’s workday. It’s almost 11 a.m. and Bryan is back at his desk starting up his computer after only five-hours of sleep. He was up late put- ting the finishing touches on a web site for a client and after he fixes himself a bowl of cereal and his computer has warmed up, he'll check his on-line classes to see what challenging ques- tions his students have for him today. Bryan, a freelance computer graphics artist, writer, and online instructor, is part of the growing population of self- employed dads who work from home; men who, whether by choice or by cir- cumstance, pursue their careers from home and also have the unique oppor- tunity to participate more fully in the rearing of their children. Unlike a worker whose stress level may rise during his morning commute, a work-at-home dad like Bryan simply rolls out of bed and voila! He’s at the office. No stiff-collared shirts and tight neckties for him. His daily attire usual- ly consists of a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. “Sometimes I spend part of the day in my pajamas if I get into my work first thing in the morning and lose track of time,” he says, a little embarrassed. “T also like the fact there is no clock to punch and I take breaks whenever I want.” Bryan’s schedule can vary, espe- cially if our youngest daughter pops into his office for an impromptu art les- son or when our eldest daughter needs to be picked up from school. There are also household emergencies to deal with, whittling an eight-hour workday down to practically nothing, causing Bryan to scramble to meet a deadline. Organization is key when trying to make an at-home business a success. Developing a schedule and faithfully sticking to it ensures that the work gets done. Everything must be included, even a trip to the bank or taking the car for an oil change. It’s important for children to know when Daddy’s work- ing and that he not be interrupted. This can be difficult for youngsters to comprehend, especially if the work-at- home dad is also the primary caregiver during the day while his wife works outside the home. Mark Rasmussen, a Richmond, BC work-at-home dad for three years, knows the challenges of trying to do both. “My daughter, Tessa, would need my attention at the most inconvenient times,” he says. “I'd be rushing to finish a special effect for a film and she would pull my arm or attach herself to my leg as I was trying to work on the comput- er. I'd have to resort to bribery to get her to stop, which caused her to bother me more.” Mark finally broke the cycle by setting up a play area in the base- ment near his desk, and rewarded Tessa when she didn’t interrupt him. Rasmussen's wife, Rachael, was very supportive of him staying at home. Mark says, “I felt guilty because some things wouldn't get done while Rachael was at work. I didn’t realize how much effort goes into keeping up the house, watching our daughter, and trying to work at the same time.” Though starting your own business may seem like the ideal solution if you are fed up with a demanding boss or a dead end job, there are plenty of disad- vantages that most people don't realize. Bryan agrees with Rasmussen that interruptions are the number one rea- son why working at home can be diffi- cult. He adds reason number two: “Not getting paid regularly makes it hard to plan how to spend money. I have to save enough before I buy a big-ticket item. Sometimes I'll have a steady stream of cheques coming in and some- times almost a month will go by before I get paid. It’s a difficult way to live. But then again, I only buy what I can afford and have no debts except my mortgage.” Lack of self-discipline and motivation are also pitfalls that many who make the switch to working at home can suc- cumb to. According to a Home Based Business Opportunity Tips list on the web site, Income Planet , “One of the hardest aspects of a small business or home based busi- ness is creating the discipline or motiva- tion to work each day. It is so easy to get distracted and put off the essential tasks that need to get done.” Bryan agrees, “Working at home is difficult some- times. There are a lot of distractions, lots of temptation to goof off because you have only yourself to answer to”. Plan wisely if you're considering abandoning the security of a job with a regular paycheque and healthcare bene- fits. Many who start their own busi- nesses underestimate start-up costs such as a computer and office supplies, and the time it takes to establish a new career. Then there are the bills. The work-at-home dad has the burden of ensuring his business successfully pulls in enough money to cover household and unplanned expenses every month. The washing machine may break down, the roof might start to leak, or one of the kids may need braces. These and other costs can quickly use up any money that may have been put aside. Therefore, it may not be wise to rely on one income, especially when just start- ing out. Rasmussen's wife already had a secure job with benefits when they both decid- ed that he would start his own compa- ny and be the primary caregiver to their Page 24 e http://otherpress.douglas.bc.ca daughter. Not wanting to pay day care costs, the Rasmussens decided that the tisk of living off of one income was worth it. “It wasn’t easy in the begin- ning,” Rachael says. “Mark was stressed out all the time, trying to build a name for himself and attend to Tessa’s needs. Fortunately, we have family nearby who could take Tessa out a couple of times a week to give Mark a break.” Disadvantages aside, there are several personal and financial benefits to work- ing from home. It costs money to have a job and, as Bryan points out, it all bal- ances itself out. “The money I save on transportation, restaurant lunches and clothing expenses goes towards medical and dental costs that now come out of my own pocket. I figure I’m ahead because the reduced wear and tear on our vehicle will enable it to last longer, and insurance is cheaper. I also think I'm a healthier person than I would be if I were spending a ten-hour day (including commute) downtown because I eat more nutritious meals at home and I have the opportunity to go to the gym whenever I want.” Bill Michelson, Professor of Sociology at the University of Toronto, says it’s difficult to pinpoint the num- ber of work-at-home people in Canada. He estimates the figure could be any- where from six to twenty percent of the working population. He has noticed, however, that the current majority of home workers are men. In the States, the numbers are a little higher. According to the research firm IDC, men comprise 55% of at-home workers with 45% of all at-home workers hav- ing at least one child under 18 in the home. Probably the biggest advantage a work- at-home dad has is the opportunity to spend more time with his children. Many such dads feel that they are living out their dream to be a larger part of their children’s lives than their fathers were. In her book, Stay-At-Home Dads, author Libby Gill states that dads who give up their careers to raise their chil- dren or trade their workplace for a home office are the wave of the future. Soon more men will take part in more equal rearing of their children and be pushing grocery carts with kids hanging off the sides, alongside the stereotypical stay-at-home mom. Peter Baylies, of Salem, Massachusetts, took on the role of pri- mary caregiver of his infant son after he was laid off from his job at a software company. His wife, Peggy, had returned to her job as a schoolteacher and she and Baylies decided that he would be the one to stay home. Baylies’ frustration of not having other dads to talk to about the challenges of child July 2003 rearing spawned his organization, At Home Dad , a support group that he started in 1992 for men who chose to work from home or who have put their careers on hold to stay at home and raise their children. Baylies says, “I found that isolation is the biggest problem at-home dads have, whether they're working at home or looking after the children. Men tend to try to solve problems on their own, they do not reach out for support the way mothers do.” Baylies adds that society still frowns on men who are the pri- mary caregivers or choose to work from home, “I was talking to a friend and asked him what at-home dads have to do to get respect. His knee-jerk reac- tion was, ‘Get a job! He meant it to be funny but there was some truth to it. We are looked at as less than adequate by some who frown upon us for spend- ing so much time with our kids.” Bryan is very involved in the care of our two young daughters, ages six and four. He was there to hear their first words and see them take their first steps. He feels our children are more secure having both of us at home. “There’s a constant learning environ- ment because there’s always someone to answer questions. It also makes for bet- ter family stability. 'd do anything to keep my kids out of long hours at day- care,” he says. Bryan also points out that his flexible schedule allows us to take spur-of-the-moment trips to the park and go on short holidays during the middle of the week instead of peak weekend times. Though there have been many lean times since Bryan first began working from home, he feels it’s all been worth it. His advice to anyone who is con- templating leaving the rat race for the homestead is: “Establish good contacts first, don’t go into it blindly. Make sure youre suited to the work you choose to do if you’re embarking on a new career and know that not everyone succeeds. Have a backup plan in case working from home doesn’t pan out and be sure to have the total support of your spouse or partner.” Certainly wise words from someone who knows.