Isolation in this huge population

By Laurel Borrowman,
Life & Style Editor

t's official: we are a lonely
bunch of people.
This week, the Vancouver

Foundation, a local non-profit
that distributes millions of dollars
annually to organizations in need
around Metro Vancouver, released
the results of a recent survey asking
what issues are on our minds. The
results were surprising.

At the forefront of our worries
is not the high cost of living. It’s not
homelessness. It’s not the rampant
drug use on the streets. It’s not the
four dreary months of rain, or that
we didn’t manage to bring the Cup
home last season.

The biggest worries on our
brains are loneliness, lack of
community, and a growing sense of
doom and gloom in this big city of
ours.

In a city of hundreds of
thousands of people, where we are
constantly plugged in and staying
“connected” via social media, cell
phones, and texting, we still feel
detached. I am not surprised.

In transit every day, most
people pay more attention to their
phones than their neighbours. Most
people have their headphones on.
It’s weird if somebody asks you for
the time. If somebody smiles at you
while you are walking down the
street, your first thought is often,
“Weeeirdo.”

We on the west coast, and
Metro Vancouver in particular,
have a reputation for being aloof,
even snobby. For people moving
to Vancouver, making new friends
is often difficult. I can see why an
Angus Reid survey last year set us

as most addicted to social media in
the country.

I moved to Vancouver in 2002,
and it has only been in the past
three years that Vancouver has
become home for me. Until then,

I certainly did feel lonely. So what
changed it for me? And what could
change it for others in the city, and
for us at Douglas College (which is
an important cross-section of this
lonely demographic)? Here are a
few things that worked for me, and
that I recommend to anyone feeling
lonely.

Life&Style.

(yes, annoying sometimes too, but
once in a while, give it a try).

Say yes. If somebody you don’t
know invites you to a thing, go do
that thing. Get out of your comfort
zone, and take a step into the social
unknown! It can be rewarding,
hilarious, and completely awkward
sometimes. Example: last April,

I was asked to join a Wednesday
Dungeons and Dragon group.
Totally out of my realm of interests
and regular activities, but why the
heck not? I said yes, and played the
nerdy sci-fi fantasy game with four

“In a city of hundreds of thousands of people, where we are
constantly plugged in and staying “connected” via social media, cell
phones, and texting, we still feel detached.”

Do stuff you like, and get out
of your home to do it. I budgeted
for $100 to $150 per month to
rent a space in an artists studio.

I met other painters, sculptors,
and jewellers. I was inspired. I
made new friends. I was a part

of a community completely
different from work and home.
For you, maybe it’s a book club,
or a fencing class, or volunteering
at a soup kitchen. Make the time
for something. Set aside a bit of
money for it. If there is something
you really want to do, don’t make
excuses. Get over yourself. Just do
it.

Take your headphones off.
Listen to your surroundings. Listen
to the people around you. Listen
to your own thoughts! The silly,
intriguing, funny, heartbreaking,
and inspiring things you can hear
when you unplug can be amazing

other nerdy dudes for four months,
until school conflicted. Eating

chips and candies and following

an obscure story of epic battles and

adventures turned into a high point
of the week.

 

Meet your neighbour. I
understand that this depends on
where you live, and whether or not
your neighbours are actually people
you want to talk to. Example: a
good friend of mine lives next to a
hoarder (seriously—I’m surprised
they haven’t filmed there yet).

I don’t expect my friend to go

have punch and pie with good

ol’ Maurice. On the other hand, if
you think your neighbours have
potential, investigate! Just last night
I borrowed a can of black beans
from the dude in #3. And a few
weeks ago, our neighbour below
came up to borrow our microwave. I
learn more about them even in these
little blips of time. What do we all
have in common? Not tons aside
from living in the same building. But
it sure makes it feel like home.

If you are feeling lonely, like
you're just not part of a community,
there are options. Do something
about it! Step out of your comfort
zone, and give something new a try.
Prove the masses wrong, and get
down with your community.

 

     
 

~ Columbia Square Plaza
Suite 101-78 10th Street
: New Westminster, BC

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