This Guy Has “Easily” Been Listening to the
Pink Mountaintops at Least a Year
Before You Have |

By “Salty” Liam Britten

VANCOUVER, BC—A calm Friday night
at the pub was marred by douchebaggery last
Thursday when your passing comment about
Vancouver band the Pink Mountaintops was
immediately shot down by Gavin Raycroft,
a guy you hang out with sometimes.

Raycroft, 21, is a hipster and fan of
the Vancouver indie music scene. He was,
until your comment in question, calmly
drinking beer with you and your three
friends. However your off-hand mention
of the Vancouver indie rock group afforded
Raycroft an opportunity no hipster douche
could ever pass up; with this one topic
of conversation, he could talk about an
obscure band, make someone feel inferior,
and totally dominate the conversation all at
the same time.

“So I checked out this new band
that was pretty awesome,” you told the table.
“Ever heard of the Pink Mountaintops?”

As soon as the words escaped
your mouth, Raycroft decided it was time
to show off his intensive knowledge on a
subject that no one, including you, really
gave a damn about.

“Pfft, know them? I’ve been

practically following them from the start. I
can’t believe you’ ve just heard of them,” he
began. “Yeah, I’ve been listening to them
since they came out with their self-titled
back in ’04. Which album did you hear?
Was it Axis Of Evol? It was probably Axis
of Evol, that’s the one that everyone’s heard
of. Yeah, it’s been easily a year, maybe two
or three since I’ve been following them.
They’re great, really great. I mean, if you
guys haven’t heard of them, you might as
well have never heard of music.”

The lecture by Raycroft continued
for a further three minutes. Efforts by you
and your other friends to change the topic
of conversation were all in vain. By the time
it was over, annoyance and a mild sense of
awkwardness had descended upon your
groups.

As a result of Raycroft’s outburst,
your friend Sam’s plans to ask the table if
anyone had seen the new Cohen Brothers’
film have been postponed indefinitely.

TOP 5 DEMANDS OF STRIKING WRITERS

January 14, 2008

 

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© Puzzles by Pappocom

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solution, tips and computer
programs at www.sudoku.com

3; |4

For weeks now, the Writer’s Guild of America (WGA) has been striking
over issues of payment for internet content and other residuals. What else is
driving this strike?

 

 

 

 

 

wosstetace The Guild’s acronym of WGA must be changed to something
hilarious and inappropriate, like ASS or GAY or POO. 4 5 2
Die cceact In the name of the dignity of the cinema, the Wayans Brothers are
to be forbidden in perpetuity from going near another typewriter, 8 7
computer, or pen and paper set for scriptwriting purposes.
Siersaenes Medical coverage must start to cover health issues related to
chain-smoking, carpal tunnel syndrome and crippling inferiority 1 9 4
complexes.
7 Te While his laughter is appreciated, Jay Leno must be limited to
laughing three minutes or less at his own jokes. 2 7
Lisexssess Like many of those involved in television, they’re just mad

 

Arrested Development got cancelled.

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NO

 

TOP 5 REASONS YOUR PARENTS SPLIT UP

Like many families, yours is falling apart at the seams. Why are your
parents unable to live together?

4

 

3|4

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8

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dad’s secret life completely incompatible with Mom’s secret life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION

Brccesesett Unable to share the hair crimper fairly. MEDIUM #5 714111518 12161913
Sosescunes Dinner sucked, the third damn time this week! Fill in the grid so that every

Decarsnins Problems in bed; namely, father’s inability to afford a bed. row, every column and every 9/3 614/715 8/2

benaesetes Utter disappointment in you, their beloved child, who only made it 3x3 box contains the digits 1 82,519 6/347 /1/4

to Douglas College. through 9. That means thatno |4|6|311/5 |9]2/|7/8

number is repeated in any row, 5|8'713}2|619 4/1

column of box. 2:1/917/4 813 516

3'7|816'9 441 |2)5

65(4]2'1 718 3/9

1/9'218 3514/6 /7

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

N
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