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OPINIONS.

 

Taming the control freak

How to be a leader without
allenating yourself

Alliot

Chan

‘Opinions Editor
meine

 

 

hrow a bunch of humans

together and see who turns
into an animal first.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a
workplace environment, a table
of friends, or a packed car on a
road trip—there will always be a
project manager, a storyteller at
the dinner table, and a driver in
the car. Although the leadership
role is sometimes appointed,
most often it’s just imposed
upon the individual, and from
there they have to control the
manic, power-hungry beast
inside.

We've all been or interacted
with a control freak. Sometimes
their behaviours are so subtle
that we don’t even notice
them manipulating us; other
times they’re aggressive,
confrontational, and abusive.

A famous study by
psychology professor Philip
Zimbardo showed that when
given power, anybody can
behave in a cruel and unusual
manner. The 1971 Stanford
Prison experiment was intended
to simulate two weeks in
prison. Twenty-four students
volunteered to participate, with

 

12 appointed as guards and

12 as inmates. The experiment
was halted after six days, when
prisoners began to passively
accept abuse and harassment
from the guards.

Deny it all you want, but
there’s a monster inside of you.
Although it might not erupt
in the same capacity as the
prison guards, it can still roar

Grads gone wild

Have grads gone wild
when it comes to
their celebrations?

Whitney Sharp, Contributor

 

(G7 celebrations have
continued to evolve since
they first started decades
ago. A formal dance in the
school gym has morphed into
a catered dinner in a hotel
ballroom, and even that is
minimal compared to multi-
day celebrations, grad pranks,
grad wear, and even week-
long grad trips to places like
Mexico and the Dominican
Republic.

I was walking up Eighth

Street a few days ago and
I overheard a conversation
between three high school

girls that caught me off guard:

it was only September, and I
was still mourning the loss of
ammer and the hit my bank

zcount had taken with tuition

nd textbooks, but these girls
were already worried about
grad.

I graduated from high
school in 2009. I went to the
dinner and dance in a dress
that I had strategically glued
to myself, with an up-do
that required over 120 bobby
pins, and a set of acrylic nails
that kept chipping. I spent
significantly less time dressed
up than I did preparing.

When I was getting
ready to graduate, the focus
was drastically weighted

Photo courtesy of www.usefulbreath.blogspot.ca

unintentionally at your peers,
colleagues, and friends.
Perfectionists and control
freaks may not see themselves
as the villains. They might feel

like the only one who cares, and

that they’re merely trying to get

the job done in the most efficient

manner. In doing so, they create
separation—an alienating aura,
a souring reputation.

towards celebrating our
accomplishments—completing
13 years of free, mandatory
public education—as opposed
to focussing on the next
chapter of our lives, whatever
that chapter may be. I can’t
remember the number of
fundraising meetings I went
to, or the rehearsal assemblies
where we walked across the
stage in alphabetical order
while sporting a cardboard
hat.

I do remember that we
had only one optional career
and education fair in my
Grade 12 year where post-
secondary institutions, trade
schools, and apprenticeship
programs came in to talk to us.
Most people took this time to
score free pens and key chains,
or to get out of geography

 

If you ever find yourself

resisting compromise or unable

to delegate work, you must
step back for a moment and
recognize the control freak

brewing inside you. Only then

can you properly assess the

situation and your relationship

with the group, and have the
demon exorcised.
To eradicate the “my way

lectures or avoid changing for
gym.
We didn’t start looking
into available scholarships
and bursaries until late in the
spring when some deadlines
had already passed. Bye-

bye, free money. By that

time, most of my classmates
were preoccupied with dress
fittings, seating charts, and
limo arrangements—we'’re
talking serious cash.

A conservative rounded
estimate of my own grad costs
includes $500 on my outfit,
$200 on tickets to grad-related
events (including the dinner
dance and midnight harbour
cruise where my date fell, cut
his knee, bruised his forehead,
and then, after trying to get
me to kiss a female classmate,
fell asleep), and another $200

or the highway” attitude, you
must be willing to listen. Stay
silent for a moment and hear
what others have to say. The
voice inside your head will try
to jump in, but don’t let it. Allow
the others to finish and then
give your point of view. This
way, it becomes a discussion
and not a lecture. Control freaks
feel these types of interactions
slow the working process, but in
fact it builds a relationship. By
understanding how others think
and work, you as a leader can
then begin to employ them in
the most effective areas.

Don’t interfere with others’
working processes unless they
ask for help. The objective might
be getting from point-A to
point-B, but the journey isn’t up
to you. Allow others to work at
their own pace, even if they’re
slowing the process down. A
good leader will communicate
and address displeasure, but
a good leader will not do the
work for them.

The best way to kill the
control freak inside is to wing
it: whatever you are doing,
just wing it and see what
happens. Spontaneity is control
freak cyanide and a quality
leader’s magic potion. Those
who can handle improvising
and thinking on their feet will
be revered by their peers in
a way that commanding and
demanding leaders can’t be.

on grad photos—which my
mother still has yet to display;
a grand rounded total of $900,
which is more than 75 per cent
of my post-secondary tuition.

Does anyone else see a
problem here?

Sure, graduating high
school is a momentous
occasion, but it’s currently an
expensive one. Eliminating
grad celebrations altogether
seems unlikely and unfair.
High school students deserve
a chance to celebrate, because
graduating is a big deal. But
it seems like the focus has
shifted to partying before the
work is even complete. After
all, making it to Grade 12
is one thing—finishing it is
another.

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