THE OTHER NEWS

George W. Bush to appear in Off Broadway production of Death of a Salesman

By Liam Britten

ormer President George W.
Bush is beginning his private
sector career by pursuing his
long-time dream of becoming a serious
theatre performer, appearing in an
Off Broadway re-imagining of Arthur
Miller’s 1949 classic play, Death of a
Salesman.

Bush will be portraying Willy
Loman, the lead character, and a
personified metaphor for the ideas of
the failure of the American dream.

“I’ve always thought that theatre
is simply a criminally under-appreciate
medium of artistic expression,”

Bush told The Other Press. “Frankly,

I’m ashamed by how America has
eschewed her theatrical tradition in
the last 30 to 40 years, and anything I
can do to breathe life in this critically
important art would simply be
wonderful.”

Death of a Salesman will be
Bush’s first foray into the world of

performance art, and he was attracted
to the project by the other artists
involved.

“Doug Hughes will be directing,
and I’ve always just loved his Off
Broadway work. He’s got a touch
that’s so real and so rare,” Bush said.
“Truthfully, I felt that his Tony win
for Doubt was such a well-deserved
victory, especially after Jack [O’Brien]

won for his dreadful staging of Henry
vi”

Of course, Bush, a Yale graduate,
is intimately familiar with the
challenging themes and ideas presented
by Salesman and those challenges to
American thought only deepened his
love-for Miller’s masterpiece..

“Yes, Death of a Salesman is a
challenge, yes it is a quiet approval of
socialism and yes, it can be viewed
as a slap in the face to the Norman
Rockwell-esque image of America
that too many of us hold to be true,”
he said. “But Doug has taken that
classic story of a time that many of us
were too young to rightly remember,
turned it on its head, and presented it

  

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as something just as vital for today as it
was for the Greatest Generation.

“After all, we are living in a post-
war world in this day and age too,
and with the collapse of America’s
once-virile economy into a shadow of
its former greatness, it really makes
me wonder if the last eight years were
really worth it now, seeing as how so
few of the promises that the powers-
that-be made actually came true.
That’s what makes this production so
successful.”

Added Bush: “Well, that, and of
course Annette Bening’s turn as Linda,
she’s an absolute dream.”

 

Anti-shoe legislation brought in for presidential safety

By Siavash Emamzadeh

ffective as of today, new

legislation passed by the US

Senate prohibits anybody in
the vicinity of former and current US
presidents, candidates and government
officials from wearing shoes.

The ruling comes in light of an
incident on Dec 14" of last year, where
in a news conference in Iraq, former US
President George W. Bush was attacked
with a thrown shoe. In a recent visit to
Calgary, Bush was again targeted by
protesters threatening to chuck their
shoes.

After signing the bill, current
US President Barack Obama seemed
pleased with the new law.

“Look, now I know seeing Bush
dodge a shoe is unbelievably funny, but
in all seriousness, shoes can be a hazard
to our health. I wouldn’t be surprised if

shoe-related incidents turn out to be the
leading cause of presidential death in
the world,” Obama said.

People will be expected to be
shoeless in events such as presidential
inaugurations, speeches and other
encounters. Specifically, the
requirement applies to people within
a 25-metre radius of the designated
officials. Violating this law will result
in fines and possibly jail time.

Democrat Steny Hoyer said,
“There were only a few senators that
opposed the bill, but it’s safe to say that
the government overall is thrilled with
its approval. Safety is not an option; it’s
a right!”

However, the senate is still
considering passing another bill.

“We are mulling over Bill 1B,
which will ban dirty socks in the
presence of government officials.

They pose a big risk if thrown at the
president,” Hoyer said.

Shoe retailers are outraged by the
requirement, complaining that it could
cut profits significantly. Mark Parker,
Nike Inc.’s president and CEO called it
“a load of BS.”

“In these horrible economic
times, I can’t even imagine the large
percentage of customers we will lose
because of this mindless law,” he
said. “It is completely ignorant and
inconsiderate on the part of senators.”

Talk and reality television show
host, Tyra Banks, took it upon herself
to represent women worldwide.

“Like, ew, this is totally sexist.
Those senators knew that a lot women
loooove shoes, so they, like, totally
banned it to spite us,” she said. “Tune
into The Tyra Banks Show for more.”

She added: “Also, watch America’s

 

Next Top Model.”

After his visit to Calgary, George
W. Bush said, “I think it’s a terrific idea
to de-shoe-ify people. To tell you the
truth, I was afraid of giving speeches to

hockey or soccer players before games;
I could’ve gotten bruise-ified.”

Before leaving Calgary, he
excitedly yelled, “Hey, look, your feet
are bleeding!”

Authorities are also considering

banning shoes on airplanes.

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