Life&Style Got style? Contact us at lifeandstyle@theotherpress.ca & oy gl WAISTS By Jacey Gibb, Opinions Editor Douglas’ Biggest Loser Competition will have come to a close. My premature admission of defeat has made writing about my weight ona weekly basis a tad tedious and even more redundant, so for my last solo piece I thought I’d focus on an issue I’m sure many of you have faced in the past: where do I buy a cockroach? Anyone that’s been following along with our War of the Waists knows the stakes: whoever loses the competition consumes a cockroach. My original plan was to purchase one ahead of time and house it in our Office, acting both as an ominous reminder of things to come, but also to fulfill my dream of having an Other Press pet. I also thought it would be hi- larious to have everyone become attached to the cockroach—or as attached as people can get to a grotesque insect—and then devastate everyone by eating it. Unfortunately, as I’ve found out, finding a cockroach is a lot harder than it seems. My roommate and I keep a tidy home, so Ilimmediately ruled out the possibility of just shuffling our fridge to the side and discovering a colony lurking beneath. “But Jacey, we live in a major city! Just find a dive bar and ask for one of their cockroaches.” Let it be known that I do have standards and am not interested in any free-range roaches. A simple online search of “where do I buy a cockroach in Vancouver” yields mostly pest control websites and previous reports of infestations, so that’s been zero help. I’ve made the joke about wanting to buy locally and support small businesses, but I guess the demand in the Lower Mainland isn’t what it used to be. B y the time your eyes pass over these words, “Instead, I’m offered irrelevant information like how to care for a cockroach, what to feed them, and what kind of habitats they require. me to use part of | eventually reminded myself that I’m not searching for a soulmate, but her Life & Style rather a bug to eat.” Oh where, oh where could my cockroach be? I’ve been forced to gander at websites that deal with cockroaches in the pet sense. For obvious reasons, none of the sites offer useful information like what the bug tastes like or recipes to use them in. Instead, I’m offered irrelevant information like how to care for a cockroach, what to feed them, and what kind of habitats they require. I eventually reminded myself that I’m not searching for a soulmate, but rather a bug to eat. Compared to others, the prices on www. kentthebugguy.com are reasonable and I’ve settled on the “2 Hissers, Small used Critter keeper — dirt, egg crate” package for $15 plus shipping. I’d like to point out that when you plan on eating the cockroach, the button “Add to Wishlist” holds a completely different meaning. Laurel has graciously allowed budget to cover the cost of my humiliation, and now we're all set. At this point, I’d like to thank those of who you have tuned into our rivalry the last couple of months and for any cockroaches reading this, just be thankful that it isn’t you. The Rival Report: A bar too far? By Sharon Miki, Assistant Editor o, I think I’ve got a hang of Gis whole weight loss thing. Eat better, eat less, move more. Simple, right? It should be, but of course if being the perfect size was easy we'd all be walking around looking like Megan Fox (thus, making bigger girls more exotic and attractive? I digress). But, as my stomach rolls shrivel like a hot dog in the microwave, I’ve found something new to worry about. How far is too far and how fast is too fast when it comes to losing weight? Sure, with the awful consequence of the cockroach on the table, it seemed smart—almost necessary—to take my dieting to extreme measures. But as the weeks have worn on, I’ve noticed that my attitude towards food has made a drastic shift: I no longer crave food. In fact, I find it increasingly difficult to muster the will to eat. I feel more and more guilty eating anything, and I’ve picked up some unhealthy (and gross) habits that I used to keep my weight down as a teenage cheerleader. Like chewing and spitting out food like it was cheap tobacco and I was a major leaguer. Basically, I’ve traded in one unhealthy way of eating / dealing with my feelings for another. The only difference is, no one has ever been like, “Oh, Sharon, awesome, you look so round.” The good news is that I do think that the positive habits I’ve picked up in this process outweigh the negative—and my sensitivity and awareness to my flaws will likely keep me from jumping over the edge into skinny bitchiness. And, no matter what, I’ll have the lifelong memory of the look in Jacey’s eyes as he eats the cockroach and admits that I’m the winner. OtherPress. arch presents Loos madness! Every Monday in March at 4:00 p.m. in RM 1322 at Douglas College’s New Westminster Campus we instructor Led by an ex perienced WY Mats provided Contact editor@theotherpress.ca for more information!