“T pity the ud The weekly deadline for submissions is Wednesday for publication the following Wednesday. Letters to the Editor, vacant sections, and “time-sensitive” articles (weekend news, sports, and cultural reviews) will be accepted until Saturday noon and can be submitted to the editor at: othereditor@yahoo.ca News fergie1b @telus.net Opinions opinionsubmit@ hotmail.com Happy April Fool’s Day! Being fools ourselves, we thought that in honour of this sacred holiday, we would treat you to a lil’ sumpin’ sumpin’ special. And so, the great, great minds that make up this great, great publication you are holding in your great, great hands, came up with some great, great April Fool’s Day stories. That’s not to say the stories are all about April Fool’s Day—although that zs the case with CF Miley’s “The Way Thing’s Sometimes Are.” What it means is that all of the stories are fake. And by fake, I mean fab- ricated, silly, and most of all untrue. So don’t pull a War of the Worlds on us and start telling all your friends and families that Gordon Campbell is made of alcohol and Darren Paterson was killed by rugby players. And don’t bother getting all hot and both- ered and come crying to me because you think we have bigoted attitudes toward Christians or aliens (or worse, Christian aliens). And please, don’t waste too much time this week trying to decide if you should be more offended by something Brandon All other submissions should be forwarded to the appropriate section editor. Please include your name, phone number/email address, and word count, and submit via email as an MS Word.doc attachment to the attention of the appropriate editor. Ferguson wrote or something McCullough wrote—chill out, it’s all fake Unless, of course, this “lettitor” is act ly an April Fool’s Day joke, meaning al the content in the rest of the paper is } Wouldn’t that be something? Hmm, mz that is the case—I’ll let you be the judge. Sadly, this week the Other Press goodbye to Melissa Beedle (our for Features Editor). We'll miss you Melissa, that’s no April Fool’s joke. (Or és it?) A happily, we welcome our new A&E Eq Iain Reeve, our new Features Editor Ki) Welsh, and our new photographer Kat C They are all fabulous people and ’m they will be a fabulous addition to our or ization. Okay, now that definitely was April Fool’s joke. Who am I kidding? TI morons couldn’t write/photograph th selves out of a wet paper bag, Oh, man you think they’re reading this? In that ¢ “Prove me wrong, newbies, prove wrong,” —Amanda Aikman Senki EALOPS A&E Sports aeditor @gmail.com ddp20 @hotmail.com Features krwelsh @canada.com The Other Press is Douglas College's autonomous student newspaper. The Other Press is run by a collective and and from local and national advertising rev- enue. The Other Press is a member of the Canadian University Press (CUP), a cooper- publish, and will not publish material that is racist, sexist, or homophobic. Submissions may be edited for clarity and brevity if neces- is published weekly during the fall and win- ative of student newspapers from across sary. ter semesters, and monthly (as a magazine) Canada.We adhere to CUP’s Statement of All images are copyright to their respec- during the summer. Common Principles and Code of Ethics— tive owners. We receive our funding from a student levy collected every semester at registration, except when it suits us not to. The Other Press reserves the right to choose what to 2 | www.theotherpress.ca March 30/2005