issue 22 // volume 40 humour // 23 will.i.am Looks like my name is "William" now...lol how hard it is to spell mwill : Feo 2o THE NCE =—=— as "Will.i.am"?! #getitright #StoopidBaristas #qobacktosch.oo.| oad im! Hide photo 4 Reply 3 Retweet a F t EE —_— Bur... Bur... t THREW ALL THESE NICE PARTIES FOR Being an adult in 2014 isn’t easy. As much as we may like to pretend otherwise, there is most proper behaviour fe or successful : into him!). : any given post, take it down young ladies and gentlemen. : : immediately. Also, be sure to Here are just a few of our : Selfie tips: : use more hashtags to get more humble tips that—if followed correctly—uwill surely bring you lifelong happiness. Or, at least a dude with a car. Communication is key: When texting your partner or desired lover, make sure to first send what you intend to communicate in a mass message to at least seven friends for approval first. Only then can you formulate the proper words, punctuation, and emoticons. Deciding between “hahaha” and “haha” can be very difficult—not to mention “:P” and “:).” Err on will let them know you are still interested, and will save you from having to wonder whether or not you were nice enough. Wait at least three minutes before responding to a text from a desired beau. If you respond too quickly, they will think you have no life. To convey anger, short responses are best. Try using “k...” as opposed to “ok...” for added effect. However, when men respond with “k,” this is not : the same thing! It is no time to : panic. Men lead busy lives and : sometimes don’t have the time : love and let it kill you.” , Julia Siedlanowska : fora meaningful conversation : Staff Writer : with you. It is best to simply : Online presence: : increase the number of selfies : you post and make sure you : look good going to the gym (and : : at all times for that matter—you certainly a nouveau etiquette for : yeyer know when you might run : Speaking of selfies, do note : that a change in furniture, hair : colour, or paint colour in your : room are all great reasons for : one! The new piece of furniture : doesn’t even have to be in the : frame! Also, be sure to take a : selfie before you go to the gym : so you wont be all sweaty and : gross! Always go to the gym in : tight-fitting, brightly coloured, : orall-black workout wear, and : please don’t forget to show your : cleavage and midriff—these are : the photos in which you can get : away with the most nudity. the side of caution. More bubbly : The lighting at home is : obviously the most flattering : for selfies, as that is the light : you have dressed and done your : makeup in. It is also the light : you know how to work with best : when angling your body to look : the most thin and in shape. It often helps to enter : inspirational quotes or abstract : emotional song lyrics with your : selfie. This way people will : know you are literate and also : not afraid to be emotionally : Make sure to take time out of : your day to specifically take : and Instagram. If you get fewer : than 10 likes in 10 minutes on : likes. : a concert is more important : to document than it is to : experience. : Lifestyle lessons: : Every time you pass a mirror or : reflective surface, check to see : your natural expression. Does it : look relaxed? Try to emulate the : face you make while staring at : your own reflection in daily life. : This will lead you to greater ease : in creating the perfect “duck : face.” : someone, make sure to wake up : before them (if they’re cute) in : order to re-apply your makeup. : The more subtle you make it, : the more he will be astounded : by your natural beauty. If you : do not have makeup with you : for some unfortunate reason : (please, be prepared!) simply : go home, and leave a cute note. : Then, add him on Facebook, : where he will get to see the way : you really look! ‘i. 9 » Anot-so-retro guide to happy relationships & a happy life in 2014 : vulnerable on social media. Try : something like “find what you pictures for Facebook, Twitter, Always remember that If you do go home with