July 2003

Pardon Your French

Kerry Evans
Opinions Editor

I like to swear as much as the next
trucker, but sometimes enough is just
enough. When every second word is
the F-word I deem that to be excessive.
It used to be more of a taboo but now
it seems that “adults” feel it is okay to
go off if there are no kids around, and
if there are kids
around. Am I on a “what is the world
coming to” kick? Perhaps, but I still
think that saying something is still bet-
ter than having it go undiscussed. So
allow me take a moment to catch you
up on my most current run-ins with
the potty-mouth public.

I live in a building that is currently
under construction, and the workers
stand outside my windows literally
every sunny minute of the day and
evening. Most of them are foreign and
speak a language unknown to me but
guess what English words they do
know? You are such a smart bunch
arent you? Yes they know the English
swear words. So they yell for a few

even sometimes

minutes in their language then add a
“fuck” or “shit” in between. Surely
their language has come up with some
naughty words of their own? Anyhow,
there are also these two other guys who
stand outside my bedroom window
every morning at 7:30 talking about all
the “bitches” they know. It’s great fun
really — for my six-year-old to listen to.
So I get up and open the window and
say “Please step away from the window

when you feel the need to swear

»

because I have a small child.” They

were very nice and apologetic. Ahhh, a

job well done I told myself. Until the
next morning, when just like children,
they forgot the lesson I taught them
yesterday. Then I make signs for all my

windows that read, “Please watch your
language—child resides in this home”
and, really, do I have to repeat myself?

So only a “shit” every now and then,

and I can deal with that. My daughi
is no stranger to profanity by now an
I can’t run outside every time someon
cusses. Then (come on—you kne
there would be a “then”) the leader o
the potty mouths has a fit and goes
right off. He yelled every swear word
I’ve ever heard plus ones I never want
to hear again. And, from the jist of the
yelling, he was really mad because no
one cleaned up after him. Ohhhhh
poor Neanderthal man. So in my jam-
mies and slippers I went outside and
am faced with many people all at once.
“Does anyone speak English,” I ask
politely (right, me be polite?). One guy
raises his hand and I said, “Where is
the site manager?” He points and I go.
The site manager assured me that he
gave that guy a stern talking to (um
when, because I came outside immedi-
ately) and if I hear it again for me to
point out who it was and he will fire
them immediately. It sounds like a trap
to me and I fell right in. I haven't heard
anything since though. That’s right
boys, I mean business.

I was also at a neighborhood pub
with a gal pal and two tables over there
was a lady (I would only use the term
“lady” because of her biological fea-
tures) and she sure could swear. At first

it was annoying and then it got kind of

funny at how seriously disgusting her
conversation was. We didn’t complain
or anything, we just moved inside but
where is the line drawn? | don’t want

the day to come that we could get

me . . |

fined for swearing in public, because I
have some really bad road rage but
there has got to be some limit to this. I
heard that there going to be

swear-free zones but I couldn't find

any concrete information on it.

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