Cees (Y Cassette comeback? ( Controversial survey reveals that | am still totally un-dateable Y All crows are psychotic And more! Been told you're too funny? Contact: Sharon Miki, Humour Editor 4 humour@theotherpress.ca www.theotherpress.ca Ha-ha-ho holidays » Looking beyond Christmas for a reason to celebrate Sharon Miki Humour Editor WM humour @theotherpress.ca This time of year, it seems like everyone has “the holidays” on the mind. It’s understandable: Christmas’ twinkly lights, tons of food, and a break from school are all totally day- dreamy concepts—but why not celebrate “the holidays” all year long? Here are some obscure (and totally real!) holidays that you can use as an excuse to get drunk and waste money on no matter what day it is. January 3— Humiliation Day: What better way is there to start of the year than really dousing yourself in shame for the day? If you’re feeling generous, you can always spread the mortification by sending your loved ones Humiliation Day cards, which outline your most fontrum- filled memories of their past indiscretions. January 16—Appreciate a Dragon Day: Also known as Watch A Lot Of Game of Thrones Day. January 18—Thesaurus Day: This is the most astonishing, awe-inspiring, breathtaking, stunning, magnificent, impressive, wonderful holiday of them all. February 14—Valentine’s Day: You might have heard of this one before. Similar to Humiliation Day, this holiday forces single people to focus on their existential loneliness, while couples are judged on their commitment for each other based on the quality of overpriced roses they are able to procure. Everyone celebrates Valentine’s Day by going to bed generally dissatisfied. Feb 22—Walking the Dog Day: Who knew you only had to walk your dog one day a year? March 1—National Peanut Butter Lover’s Day: An uncomfortable and dangerous holiday for anyone with nut allergies. : April 4—Tell a Lie Day: : This is the perfect day to : tackle all of those awkward : conversations that you've been : putting off all year. “It’s not : you, it’s me,” is the “Merry : Christmas” of Tell a Lie Day. : April 3o—National Honesty : Day: You better hope that no : one questions you about what you said on April 4. : May 12—Limerick Day: This isa day in May/When all the : people say,/“Today I’m going : to write/A poem that’s pretty : alright!”/Just let me finish this essay. June 1—F lip a Coin Day: The : traditional gift on Flip a Coin : Day is gold. June 8—Name Your Poison : Day: Poison. Poison is my : poison—I don’t even need to : wait for June 8 to tell you that. Please don’t poison me. July 2—“I Forgot” Day: August 27—“Just Because : Day”: Why not, right? September 5—Be Late for : Something Day: This holiday : conveniently lines up with the : beginning of the new school : year, giving you a handy excuse : when you show up an hour late : to all your new classes. : September 13—Fortune : Cookie Day: There is no : greater pleasure than seeing your loved ones prosper. October 13—Treat Yo’ Self : Day: As Tom Haverford would : say, “Clothes. Fragrances. : Massages. Mimosas. Treat yo’ : self!” : November 2—Look for : Circles Day: If you enjoy Fruit : Loops or Cheerios or bagels, you could be done celebrating : by the end of breakfast! December 6—Put Your Own : Shoes on Day: Put away the : Velcro slip-ons: this is the one : day a year you can lace up your own sneakers! December 25—National : Pumpkin Pie Day: This one : is obvious: everyone knows : that December 25 is the day : everyone gathers together to : gorge on pie, right? December 31—Make Up Your : Mind Day: Should you make : a resolution for the New Year? : For sure! Or, well, maybe. No. : Yes. I don’t know! I'd take that class! » College courses that should be things Allie Davison Senior Columnist Sick of taking real(ly boring) classes every semester? We explore the courses that wed actually like to take. Douglas College—take note! dvanced napping 0201:Practical explorations in zzz Course Code: SNOOZE 0201 Faculty: Health Sciences Department: Sleep CultureCredits: 8.0 Learning Format: Skype in from the comfort of your home (or your fave nap location!) : Typically Offered: : Sporadically—can't let class : get in the way of naps! Course Overview: Perfect : your napping skills! : Course Content: This ? semester we will cover : finding a nap-zone : anywhere, nap preparation, : and how to get the most : from your naps—in the : least about of time. : Course Objectives: This : early morning class should : only be undertaken by : those seriously into : napping. Each lesson will : conclude with a half-hour : nap quiz. You will be tested : on how quickly you can fall : asleep, therefore learning : to optimize nap time.