Stuck in Purge-atory

The end of time has come

By Laurel Borrowman, Life & Style
Editor

From November last year until April, I
wrote acolumn called Stuck in Purge-
atory. The goal was for my roommate
Emily and I to get rid of one thing
from our apartment or lives everyday
until the end of time. Evidently, the
end of time came and I wrapped up the
column. But then, one mild spring day,
our six-unit apartment building teamed
up to tackle the bowels of the building
for the most epic foray into spring
cleaning West Broadway has ever seen.
Ladies and gentlemen, | bring you a
very special binge-edition of Purge-
atory.

There are two kinds of apartment
buildings in Vancouver: new and
old. The new ones have laundry
machines in each unit, double sinks
in the kitchen, electrical outlets in
the bathroom, and a door buzzer
with an intercom. The old ones
have one washer and one dryer
for the building, regardless of
how many units it has, one huge
discoloured sink in the kitchen,
extension cords leading to outlets
just outside the bathroom, and a
buzzer that makes noise in the unit,
but the tenant has to walk to the
front door and let the visitor in.

I live in the latter with my

roommate Emily. The other
differentiating factor between new
and old apartments is the storage
area. New apartments tend to

have one, self-contained storage
space per unit, isolated from all
others. Old apartments often have a
common basement-type area where
storage units, washing facilities,
and discardable shit from tenants-
past tend to all congregate in one
big, messy, useless pile.

I live in the latter.

I’m not sure how many people
have come and gone amongst
the six units in our building, but
judging by the accumulation of
crap in our basement, I’d say half of
Vancouver. The basement is about
600 square feet or so, ill-lit, and
packed full of treasures like bent
bed frames, shitty snowboards,
half-empty cans of paint, wooden
planks, shelving, totes, and broken
bicycles.

Or should I say, was filled with
these things.

A month ago, my neighbour
stopped by, notifying us that he was
spearheading a mission to clean
up the basement. He contacted
our landlady to arrange garbage
disposal and another neighbour
with a truck to drop off donations.
So we all agreed on a Saturday,
committed, and embarked on the

Life&Style.

spring cleaning of a lifetime.
Although it wasn’t my first
choice of ways to spend a Saturday,
it was indeed a good bonding
experience with my neighbours. We
lifted heavy things, drank beers,
threw crap into piles, and made the
basement look like new. Almost.
Plus, how could I pass up just one
more opportunity to tally up a
bunch of purge-ables? I couldn’t.
At the end, we donated eight

 

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bikes, a few sacks of random shit,
and made the biggest pile of trash
I’ve ever seen. The basement has so
much space now that we even have
a proper bike rack, built with love
by a neighbour, and enough space
to hold an emergency dance party if
need be.

The pictures say it all.

I’m no longer stuck in purge-
atory, but I highly recommend a
visit back on occasion.

 

Vodka: the candy approach

By Allie Davison, Staff writer

odka has been my beverage
\ | of choice since I started

drinking. Sure, I’ve had
phases with other flavours of the
month, but I would always go
back to ol’ faithful: vodka. Over
the years, I’ve experimented with
different brands, different mixers,
and different flavours. So far my
favourite vodka delicacy is candy
vodka. How can vodka, a liquid,
be candy? Excellent question, my
friends. Here’s your answer.

The classic: Jell-O shots

Jell-O shots have been my go-to
party favour for many years, and
for good reason! They are easy to
make, delicious, and a sure-fire way
to get you hammered. Here’s my
recipe:

1 box of Jell-O (any flavour will do)
1 bottle of vodka (750 ml or 375 ml;
and if you’re feeling adventurous,
try a flavoured variety)

1 cup of boiling water

For the first step, just follow the
directions on the box of Jell-O: Add
the one cup of boiling water to the
Jell-O powder, and then stir until
the powder dissolves.

Here’s when the vodka comes in.
Add a cup of cold vodka to the
Jell-O mixture, then refrigerate.

It generally takes these bad boys
about four or five hours to harden,
but I usually make them the night
before just to be sure. As for the
presentation, you can either pour

a small amount of the Jell-O/
vodka mixture into individual shot
glasses—Dixie cups have worked
in the past—or wait until the Jell-O
has hardened and then scoop into
the cups. I prefer the latter; it’s less
messy and easier to do (also, you
can eat any Jell-O left over the in
bowl!).

Circa 2009: skittles vodka
Skittles vodka was a bit of a roller

coaster of tastes. When doing a
shot, first you'd taste the rainbow,

but then you'd be left with harsh
burn of reality, stuck in the back of
your throat. Even though it has the
vodka burn that we all know and
love, Skittles vodka is still a fun
party trip to whip out on special
occasions.

1750 ml bottle of vodka

A couple jars (depending on how
many flavours of skittles vodka you
want)

Big bag of skittles

Funnel

Measuring cups

First, separate the Skittles into the
different flavours. Next, fill your
jars evenly with vodka. Add the
individual skittles colour to each
jar and shake ‘em up. Next, leave
the Skittles for 24 hours (or until
dissolved), and you’re set! Shake
again before serving, and enjoy.

The gummy addition: vodka bears
This is my latest vodka experiment.

I heard about it from a friend
and knew I[ had to try it myself:

vodka gummy bears. Question:
what could go wrong? Answer:
nothing. They were great! They
were delicious and got the job done.
Enjoy!

Big bag of gummy bears
750 ml bottle of vodka

So easy! Just put the gummy bears
in a bowl, and pour the vodka

on top. Ensure that the vodka is
covering the bears, and then cover
the bowl and refrigerate for four

to five days. Those top bears will
drink up the vodka pretty quickly,
so I recommend stirring them up so
they all get evenly drunk! Yum!

 

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