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¢ Amazing things people find as snow
melts

..and more

Amazing things people find as snow melts

» These may or may not shock you

EG Manilag
Staff Writer

 

fter barely surviving that horrifying

week-long snowfall, we now enter into
the era of what scientists call “The Great
Hangover.” But never fear, the grumpy
snow always disappears! And as the snow
evaporates, it slowly reveals some amazing
hidden treasures forgotten by time! Here
are some items people can expect to find
under the melted snow:

The “I’ve had enough’ toques

There are three relatable situations when
these sad toques are left behind and
dumped in the cold winter. Firstly, it could
be that you are waiting for the bus and
the bus never shows up... twice! Secondly,
it can be when you are in the middle of a
shovelling-crisis, clearing the nasty snow
and suddenly, snow falls again... but this
time it’s bringing some of its thick and
slushy friends! You just can’t beat them,
so you slam your fleece helmet as a sign
of surrender. And finally, thirdly, it could
be the situation where you just can’t drive
your car and go into the road because

the struggle is real in climbing up from
your steep and icy neighbourhood street.
Revving your engine is just useless, so you
open your window and throw your toque.
The forgotten meat or veggies

One of the thriftiest ways to save some
electricity is to use winter’s freezing
temperatures as a natural and organic
fridge. However, as snowfall gets worse
and worse, you tend to forget your red
meats and green stuffs. Eventually, they
will get eaten by your pet or an early rising
bear, and worst of all, you are not going to
remember forgetting them.

That Starbucks drinks

Without a doubt, you can find a lot of these
items when the snow melts, especially that
one drink that has a lot of extras in it. Like
the venti iced caramel macchiato with ten
pumps of vanilla, extra whole milk, extra
caramel drizzle, extra mocha drizzle, and
extra whip, well done. I just made my
article 23 words longer.

The usual: dog poops

Shout out to those irresponsibly entitled
dog owners who rejoice when winter
arrives, as they see it as a freedom from
the very vital responsibility of picking up
their dog’s shit. Just a little foot sweep and,
poof, their job is done. That may be okay
for them... but it’s not okay for the people
in their neighbourhood. As a matter of fact,
it’s illegal. Dog pee-flavoured shaved ice is
acceptable, though.

 

How to shovel snow like a westcoaster

» The guide for dummies, by dummies

Richard Dick
Contributor

 

A: a west coaster, this month is the first
time | ever wished I were from the east
coast. Then, I could properly laugh at how
absolutely goofy greater Vancouver is in the
snow. Snowplows stuck in the road trying
to salt the roads. People with their toes
out— flaunting sandals. Workplaces and
schools totally shut down. The comedy was

real, and so was the struggle. Maybe one
day Vancouver will be ready for the three
days a year it gets of snow, but until then,
here is an authentic guide on how to shovel
your driveway so people don’t die walking
across the ice in their no-traction runners.

The Chair

Give that snow the chair—more specifically,
the dining-room chair. Scrape the top of

a chair along the driveway in preparation

for the guests you're having over to try your
new homebrewed kombucha. It’s pretty icy
out though... you might have to cancel this
hangout along with your morning plans

to buy that extremely expensive Swedish-
technology hiking gear you've been eyeing
in the Arc'teryx window for months.

The Hockey Stick

‘Ol reliable has gotten you out of a lot

of sticky situations, and you can rely on
her once again. Youre also Canadian, so
youre pretty sure you can apply for a tax-
deduction every time you use your hockey
stick.

The Dustpan and Sweeper
Gotta keep that snow clean somehow.

‘

 

¢ The 'Other' Other Press

¢ The guide for dummies, by dummies

Illustration by Athena Little

Illustrations by Athena Little