Global warming belief fluctuating

» Many convinced by weather, rather than by facts

Chandler Walter
Humour Editor
4 humour@theotherpress.ca

recent survey from Stats

Canada has delivered some
intriguing information regarding
the legitimacy of global warming.
Canadian belief in global warming
has skyrocketed over just the past
few months, most notably around
May and June. We asked a few
of the survey takers about their
change in belief.

“Well, I was a skeptic at first,”
said survey taker, Tom Greere.

: “But after all this sun we've been
: getting, it’s kind of silly to think

: that the globe isn’t getting warmer. :

: I mean, just feel the water at your

: local lake! It has warmed! Without !
: to be true at the time of the most
: recent survey, that being the first
: week of August. When paralleled
: with the second to last survey,

: taken in the dark months of

: January, a whopping 35 per cent

: drop in belief was evident.

: a doubt it has warmed”

: Eddie Stark, however, had a

: different view on things: “Winter
: is coming. Yes it is a summer of

: flower and sunshine, when the ice
: melts on the wall and the grass

: is greener than a Crannogman’s

: bride, but winter is coming as it

: always has, and always will. What
: is this global warming you speak

: of ?”

: Unfortunately we could not

: interview Eddie any longer, as he
: had some “honour and duty” to

attend to.
An estimated 75 per cent of
Canadians believe global warming

We talked to a leading expert

: on the subject, environmentalist
: Richard Barker.

“You see ... how can I put this

: simply ... some people mistake

: global warming to mean it will

: simply get hotter and hotter until
: the sun explodes or everything

: becomes a desert. That is not

: actually the case. The truth is that
: the entirety of the planet gets

: just a little bit warmer each year,

: in comparison to each season,

: respectively. This slight change

: has massive impacts on weather,
: climate, and tide, among other

: things.”

However, when asked to

explain why it still gets cold during
: the winter, Dr. Barker merely
> shook his head and refused to

> answer.

What we have taken from

: all of this scientific malarkey is

: as clear as this beautiful summer
: day: the Earth has weather. And

: it gets hot and cold, sometimes.

: We think. Somehow this affects

: what people believe about things,
: maybe.

The real truth behind

global warming remains ever

: the unsolvable mystery, though
: honestly how bad could it be,

: always having summer.

That’s how this all works,

: right?

 

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