As bought by Jacey: HD sunglasses

| can see clearly now, my ten dollars are gone

 

' By Jacey Gibb

Have you ever been curious about
those wonder products always being
advertised on television? Not stupid
enough to actually pay money to find
_ out if they really work? Then join

_ me in the recurring ‘As bought by

_ Jacey’ column on my ongoing quest

_ to discover what As Seen On TV
items really work and which ones are
| as useless as you first assumed they
would be.

Have you ever found yourself
staring off into a beautiful sunset,
wishing that the low quality
resolution of real life could somehow
provide you with something more? I

I’m not alone as our good friends at
As Seen on TV have been hard at
work deep in the fires of Mordor and

vision wear: HD sunglasses!

I bet you’re asking yourself,
what exactly are HD sunglasses?
Unfortunately, even after purchasing
a pair for myself and taking them on

the concept. Basically they’re
supposed to boost your vision to the

well, unassisted vision is so 1999.

know I have. Luckily for me, it seems

have constructed the pinnacle of optic

numerous test strolls around the city, I
myself am no closer to understanding ~

point of being high definition, because

Qewor

“Wow, everything’s so crisp! I
can’t believe how crisp everything
is!” my friend jokingly exclaimed
as she tried the super shades on
for the first time. She immediately
took them off and set them down,
unimpressed. As far as I’ve been
able to tell from’ trying them out,
the only thing affected by wearing
the HD sunglasses is how orange
everything appears. It’s almost as
if someone made a coating out of
orange grinds and glazed it over the
world the moment you put them on.
No pieces of nature suddenly popped
out at me and my roommate remained
as unimpressive looking as before.

I suppose one upside to wearing the
HD sunglasses is you kind of look
like one of the X-men with your
over-the-top eyewear. Too bad seeing
things with a tinge of colour isn’t
nearly as cool as being able to shoot
optic blasts.

Rating: F - Aside from the
before mention of perhaps being
able to use the glasses as part of a
costume for a future superhero party,
I probably won’t ever use the HD
sunglasses again. But all hope is not -
totally lost! My mom commented
that she really liked them as just

-plain sunglasses. Hello next year’s
Christmas present!

 

Home is where the headache is

What going back home means for a college student

By Jacey Gibb

he most exciting (and terrifying)
thing I ever did was part ways with

my hometown in desolate Alberta
in favour of spending my post-secondary
years in Vancouver. Moving out while
you’re in college doesn’t make a lick of
financial sense and is pretty impractical
when you think about what a massive
transition it already is (even without the
added pressure of changing area codes)
but it was what I wanted to do. However,
as anyone else who has moved away _
for school will tell you, it changes your
perception forever.

The first thing you’ll notice when

you return home after being away for
so long is how not much has actually
changed. Sure, there will be some
things that stand out (new buildings, old
friends changed their hair styles) but
the majority of your surroundings will
appear as if they had been in purgatory
since you left. This realization will first

come across as comforting, since it stems
from familiarity. However, this feeling is
usually short lived.

As you settle in again to the familiar
routine that was your life before you left,
it is mandatory that one of the first people
you run into be someone you went to high
school with and shortly after severed ties
to. A pleasant exchange is customary,
even if you haven’t seen each other in
years and won’t be seeing each other
again for several more.

Your status as grown adult will be
temporarily revoked by your parents as
they insist on seizing this opportunity to
baby you, bombarding you with the usual
interrogation of whether you’re eating
well or if you’ve met someone yet. One
of the ultimate demotions is having to ask
to’borrow the vehicle to go visit friends,
but you know that it’s better than the
alternative: asking them to drive you and
pick you up. ;

Despite all this reverting to old
patterns and habits though, something will

   

be different. You'll try and pin point what
exactly has changed: is it the way people
act or the way they talk? Is the mean
temperature for this time of year slightly
warmer than it used to be? The answer to
what has changed though is simple: it’s
you. Home may always be home but you
also have a new home of your own, and
that my friends, is a game changer. You'll
have to ask yourself: at what point does
going home to visit become not a return
trip but more of a vacation?

I guess home is a relative term,
and its actual definition is going to vary
depending on who you ask. More than

  

i.
ever, I understand all of those cliché
songs and cheesy references in pop
culture to how your home is more than
simply the house you grew up in. Home
is a state of mind and a place where you
can feel comfortable, while still accepting
the impending changes in your life. For
me, it’s no longer the place I lived in for
nineteen years but right here in my two
bedroom apartment with my wonderful
roommate, our Pamela Anderson
cardboard cut-out and the five month old
kitten who likes to treat electrical cords
like they’re gum. Home sweet home.

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