The Other Press

November 30, 1994

 

 

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GENERAL

pares NURSING STUDENTS

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SUNDAY, DECEMBER 4 7 PM

DRINK SPECIALS!!

&
+ t\: DOOR PRIZES!!

Tickets $3.00 advance
$4.00 at the door

740 Carnarvon St. New Westminster

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The following column is re-
printed from the November 30, 1993
issue of the Other Press. It was my
second column (and boy, can you
ever tell...), and although it’s not ex-
actly what this issue is all about, I
decided to run it again. Three rea-
sons: 1) Due to distribution prob-
lems, that issue didn’t get big pickup,
and I'd like to think at least three
people have read it. 2) I’m a lazy bas-
tard, and didn’t feel like writing a
Mouth this issue. And 3) Just cause I
can... Anyway, here goes...

Don’t turn around, but there’s
something behind you. It’s been
creeping up on you for months, and
you probably haven’ t noticed. It’s big,
and it’s bad, and it’s got sales galore
(to go along with it.) The culprit is...
Xmas.

I could be going on about the
commercialization, or the rape of the
Christian faith. Or maybe the futile
attempts of people like myself to es-
cape the horrid displays of pseudo-re-
ligion that continuously flood all forms
of communication at this time of year.
But that might be construed as anti-
social (however typical) behaviour.
Instead, I'd like to bring to your atten-
tion the worst problem our society
faces when it comes to Xmas: The
Mandarin orange season.

Oh, I used to like Mandarin or-
anges. I’d eat ‘em like there was no
tomorrow. Sometimes, I'd inhale 10
or 11 in one day. Of course, I hated it
when I got a wedge stuck up my nos-
tril, but it was (snort) part of the deal.
But I'd like them. Until it happened...
the Mandarin Incident...

One day I was driving along, on
a day much like today; a little chilly,
black ice was in the formative
stages. Nipples, male and female
alike, were erect as erect can be. As
I was driving, I decided to pull a
Mandarin orange out of my bag.
Minding my own business, I was
peeling, driving with my knees, you

know the routine.

Suddenly, this delivery truck in
front of me started to spin out of con-
trol, | assume ona patch of black ice.
The back doors flew open, and box
after crate after container cascaded
upon my windshield. They crashed
open leaving gallons of Mandarin
mush on my window. Unable to see, I
desperately tried to swerve to avoid the
truck, and in doing so jumped the curb.
So there I was, speeding down the
sidewalk, and the only thing that I saw
through this orange pulp was a large
bird flying over my hood.

I took it as a sign. An omen. Some
sort of divine communication, telling
me that no matter what happens, I
could always fly above my problems,
soaring objectively through a clear sky,
far over any clouds which may over-
shadow my life.

As I climbed out the door, I was
not worried about the shape of my car,
which had sustained minor damage,
nor was I concerned with my throat,
which was in severe pain from having
a double orange wedge stuck in the
windpipe. I was happy to be alive. And
not just alive, but at one with my in-
ternal, astral cosmic life-force, or
something like that. I was content.

Until, that is, I realized that it
wasn’t a sign from above at all. I felt a
sudden surge of pain in the back of my
thigh. I turned around and saw why:
The Church’s Chicken mascot was
charging me a full speed, cursing at
me and throwing Mandarin oranges.
As I ran, dodging traffic and oranges
alike, I vowed never to touch another
Mandarin orange (or Church’s
Chicken, for that matter) as long as I
lived...

Try to imagine the dreams. Nay,
the nightmares. Try to imagine the
sheer havoc such an experience could
wreak on the average psyche. Imag-
ine, if you dare, being pelted with
Mandarin oranges by a man in a big
chicken suit, running down the mid-
dle of the road, hoping and praying
you’ ll get hit by a passing ambulance
rather than live through this horror.

Try. And maybe, just maybe,
you’ ll comprehend the difficulty I have
every year, when those boats pull into
Vancouver Harbour and unload their
evil cargo upon this great Lower Main-
land. Maybe you will, but I doubt it.

Wish me luck.

 

 

Toy Bank in need for needy

Local charity helps impoverished kids enjoy the holidays

by Holly Keyes

The Toy Bank offers clothes and
toys for children of families in need.

The Toy Bank relieves some of the
stress and strain of social services by pro-
viding clothes and toys to children in
need, as well as offer other services such
as a drop-in information centre, emer-
gency clothes, supplies for pregnant
women, baby furniture and clothes, a
new birthday gift for each child and fun
Christmas hampers for
the families.

Access to informa-
tion may be difficult when
one is on assistance. Not
knowing where or how to
obtain help can hinder the
improvement of some-
one’s financial and social
situation.

One of the main ob-
jectives of the Toy Bank
is to help make kids feel
good about themselves,
especially at school where
image is so important.

If a child has clothes
that are clean and in good
condition, that child will
feel more confident in so-
cial situations and there-
fore do better at school
and develop important so-
cial abilities.

In an emergency,
clothes and basic personal
belongings may get left
behind. The Toy Bank
provides some clothes and
toys to people who had no
other choice than to run
away from an abusive
situation, such as battered
women and pregnant
teens.

The Toy Bank prides
itself in offering layettes
for all babies of registered
parents and finding maternity clothing for
teenagers who otherwise have no other
means of obtaining proper clothing for
themselves or their babies.

Very few recipients return the cloth-
ing to the Toy Bank, so the for used ma-
ternity and baby clothes, along with toys
and clothes for older children, is always
present.

Volunteers are also always in de-
mand, especially around the Christmas
season. A lot of work goes into cleaning
and preparing used clothing and toys so
they will look new.

The volunteer staff puts heroic ef-
fort into making sure that all clothing that
goes out the door is stain-free and that
the toys are in good shape and work well.

An 18 year-old autistic man repairs
books and puzzles. He puts together all
the puzzles, finds out what is missing and

 

The Other Press is presently collecting donations
for the New West Toy Bank. If you have some old
or new toys in good shape that you can part with,
bring them down to room 1020. We'll be passing

all donations on to the Toy Bank in the first week
of December.

then paints replacements so the puzzle
will be complete.

The goods are packaged in obsolete
film donated by Western Concord. This
film is no longer good for its original use
and it is kept out of the landfill by being
reused.

Strain is taken off Social Services

and people feel good about helping oth-
ers. People in need who can’t or won’t
go to the government for help can get
the basic necessities and goods stay out
of the landfill.

A person or family must be regis-
tered to receive goods from the Toy
Bank. To be eligible for registration, you
must be on assistance, to be on UIC, be
unemployed or poor.

Proof of need can be shown with
your previous year’s income tax state-
ment and current pay
stubs. For people in shel-
ters and battered women’s
homes, the need will be
decided on a case basis.

When you enter the Toy
Bank on one of the speci-
fied “shopping” days, you
are given a shopping list
which contains a complete
wardrobe and appropriate
toys.

The Toy Bank is a non-
profit, charitable, non-de-
nominational and non-po-
litical organization which
helps out children from
birth to 15 years of age and
their parents. There are
numerous single and
young people registered,
including many single fa-
thers.

Funding comes from pri-
vate and group donations.
Service groups hold fund
raisers and benefit con-
certs to help out. Dona-
tions are always needed.

At Christmastime, the
Toy Bank makes hampers
for the families that are a
little different than the
Food Bank hampers. The
Toy Bank hampers con-
tain luxuries such as
chocolate bars, pop, chips
and other fun foods that
these kids rarely have.

The Toy Bank is located in the old
Nixon’s storefront on Columbia St. The
Other Press is holding a donation drive
to help the Toy Bank. Any donations of
toys or clothing are welcome in room
1020, the Other Press office. We have
had a few donations already, thank you
to those who have helped out.

 

photo by Niki Townsend

 

 

Here's the one party not involved in the debate over Terry Hughes
Memorial Park at 8th and McBride. Flocks of Canada Geese feed
there every day, but the site is proposed for development.
What do you think? Let us know... The Other Press, room 1020,
dougals college, b.c., canada, v3! 3t9