WIE 2

 

 

OP Forum

Dear Other Press:

| never thought it could happen to me! It all happened just a few weeks ago. | had finished my night class Sociology 110 and heard
loud music playing as | walked by the DSU building. No sooner had | entered, than a tall chap carrying a hand-held microphone and
wearing.ass-less leather chaps, approached me and asked me to give him my virginity. | replied “I’m not a virgin, I’m German.” He
looked at me puzzled and handed me a lukewarm beer and two flyer’s...one for Bella Pizza on 8th and one for an orgy on 12th. |

Our loyal OtherPress readers love to share with us their saucy stories of on-
campus hotness. Be it a sexy hook-up or a broken air-conditioner, we’ve
heard it all. Here’s just a sample of the hundreds of letters that arrive weekly.

ordered a large all meat. | didn’t get any homework done, but abracadabra! What a night!

Signed
Houdini Fan.

Dear Other Press

| never thought it could happen to me, but I’m in love with Chuck Norris. | can’t get into all the details right now, but you tell me, who
doesn't love those high kicks? Frankly, I’m a sucker for any member of the Delta Force...or for that matter, Delta Force 2 or even
Delta Force 3 Final Revenge Force. The mere thought of Delta Force 4 “The Ultimate Back Hair Force” drives me into a lustful mad

frenzy!

P.S. That’s ok, I’ve always got the Western Stranger to rely on.

Signed

Chuckfan5000

 

 

 

 

 

Last Call

Amanda Aikman, OP Columnist

 

Dear Amanda,

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for almost two years
now, and she’s great. We get along perfectly, both emo-
tionally and physically, but for some reason I’ve been
finding myself sexually attracted to other women lately.
And not just any other women—women with hiccups.

I know that might sound strange, it certainly seemed
strange to me at first, but I can’t help myself. It doesn’t
matter what she looks like, or what style of hiccup she
has (loud, soft, squeaky, innies and outies—they all do it
for me), as soon as I hear a woman taking sharp repeti-
tive intakes of air... her throat convulsing
sensually...her torso shaking with the strength of the

vibrations. ..just the thought of it makes me crazy with
desire,

I don’t want to cheat on my girlfriend—after all, I
love her—but the force of this attraction is overwhelm-
ing at times.

I haven’t been able to tell my girlfriend about this,
and I’ve even taken to getting her drunk just in the
hopes of her coming down with a case of those sweet,
sweet hiccups. It’s not that I want someone else; but I
can’t expect her to have the hiccups all the time, so
what can I do? ’'m not sure how much longer I can go
on living with this secret.

Am I a freak?

Sincerely,
Hot for Hiccups

Dear HFH,

In answer to your question—yes, you are a freak.

But don’t worry; you’re not alone. Turns out there’s
a whole community of freaky hiccup lovers out there.
And naturally, like every other group of deviant wack
jobs, they’ve taken up residence in their own smutty lit-
tle corner of the Internet.

Yes sir, take a trip over to
www.members.tripod.com/hiccup_lovers for all your

hiccup hookups. There are hiccup sound files, hiccup
sightings, hiccup fantasy stories, and even video clips of
actual hiccupping hotties. What more could a horny hic-
cup enthusiast like you ask for? Who knows, perhaps
the occasional visit to this den of diaphragmatic spasms
will be enough to stop you from straying in the real
world.

The important thing to remember is that you didn’t
choose to get all hot and bothered by singultus (that’s
the medical term for hiccups, see how smart I am), you
were born that way. Much like I was born to be attract-
ed to pasty, dark-haired, moody guitar players. Or any-
one with 20 bucks and a bottle of tequila.

As for your girlfriend, of course the right thing to
do is to be honest with her and tell her all about your
unusual proclivity. Who knows, maybe she’ll be into it.
Although, if I were her, I’d laugh at you for a very, very
long time before telling everyone that would listen all
about your creepy fetish—but that’s just me, I’m sure
she’s much more sensitive than that.

Best of luck,
Amanda Aikman

Got a question for me? Bring it on, baby. The
answers to your prayers, or at least your emails,
await at lastcall_op@yahoo.ca