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Yellow or brown...
flush it down

By Natalie Nathanson

ow is it that even though

we are in college, a place

dominated by mature young
adults, and still a good many people
are unaware of the basic bathroom
etiquette rules? The rest of the
college seems to be clean as a whistle,
practically litter and even graffiti free.
But when it comes to the washrooms,
people throw this respect of our
shared community tothe wind. Did
we not learn in kindergarten that
toilets are to be flushed? That little
knobby thing behind you when you
pee—yes, that there—you press down
on it and, magically, what you just did
goes away. Considering that Douglas
College students are all educated high
school graduates, I find it very puzzling
as to why this isn’t being done as often
as it should.

I went to the washroom the
other day and after opening five stall
doors I finally found a toilet without
the remnants of another fellow user
in it. Considering there were only
seven stalls in that bathroom, that’s
a fairly disgusting fraction of clean
toilets to choose from. This happens
almost every time I try to go to the
bathroom at the school. Maybe this
just happens to me and maybe it’s
just in the women’s washroom, but
what the hell propels people to do
this? The most obvious reason I can
think of is people’s desire to conserve
water by not flushing. First of all, this
attempt at preventing water waste is
in vain, seeing as the vast majority of
people are sanitary and would flush the
os before sitting down to use it

 

for themselves anyway, and then after
they are done (if they’ve been taught
well) they’ll flush it again. I’m all for
saving the environment and conserving
water, if you’re going to use a public
toilet, you better flush it, because like it
or not, there’s going to be a flush every
time it’s used so you might as well

do us all a favour and go ahead and

do it when you’re done. Not flushing

is something you can do to save the
environment from home, nowhere else.
Don’t argue. Do us all a favour, bite the
green bullet in the ass and do it. Flush.

If a toilet somehow clogs on
you, that’s tough shit, it really is, and
my heart bleeds for you if you’re in
that situation. There’s nothing more
embarrassing, and there’s that fear
that someone’s going to walk into the
bathroom at the exact same time as you
exit the stall and they walk past and see
the exposé of everything you just did.
If you do find yourself to be a victim of
a clogged toilet, simply put a makeshift
out-of-order sign on the door. We’ve
all got bags with us full of paper just
waiting to be written on so why not
use some? If you find yourself out of
paper and in this situation, just try to
keep the door closed after you leave it,
or if someone’s waiting warn them that
this will befall them if they so choose
to gonear the same stall you just came
out of.

It happens sometimes, but I really
doubt that five toilets can clog at the
same time. The building has its faults
but I think that’s stretching it. Either
way, students better begin flushing
before I start a Facebook group
petitioning fines be given out to those
adults who don’t flush.

 

The world’s ugliest dog
contest is a shame

By Siavash Emamzadeh

 

ometimes I’m reminded of how
despicable the human race can
be.

This time, the reminder came
courtesy of a website’s photo of a cat,
accompanied by a heading labeling
it ugly. This led me to the discovery
of “the world’s ugliest dog” contest,
which then led to a sharp pain in my
stomach. Outrage and disgust would
not even begin to describe my feelings
toward this contest.

To start with, I don’t know
who created the competition, but it
was probably somebody who has
no compassion whatsoever. They
are ignorant to the fact that ridicule
is never acceptable, even when the
subject is an animal.

I suppose the logic of the contest’s
creator is that since animals are mute
and can’t protest, and since they’ re
neglected essentially everywhere, why

not mistreat them? Yeah, like we need
more maniacs in the group of those
that hunt, race or transfer them to
ZOOS, aquariums, rodeos or circuses for
public amusement. Seriously, enough
is enough.

The involved pet owners also have
a share in the blame, as they are people
willing to exploit animals for profit. Of
course, who wouldn’t deride their own
dog, or “man’s best friend” to make
some money and gain popularity?
Absolutely disgusting.

Easily the most heartbreaking
truth about this contest is the story
behind the death of one of its winners,
Gus. On Nov 10", 2008, cancer took
the life of this three-legged, one-eyed
dog at the tender age of nine. Gus had
lost his leg to skin tumor, his eye in a
cat fight and originally grew up ina
crate in some barbarian’s garage. So,
Gus, dubbed “the world’s ugliest dog,”
was helplessly tossed into the centre
of attention, amid a crowd of derisive,
heartless people, while suffering from
life’s traumas.

I’m sure that the organizers and
supporters of the contest scathe the
mere suggestion of this type of contest
for humans, but for animals it’s okay,
right? Here’s a thought— babies are
also incapable of coherent speech,
how about we form a “world’s ugliest
baby” contest for them too, eh?
Fucking hypocrites.

 

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