| War of Words:

Living with friends still leaves room to grow

By Jacey Gibb

ether it’s the first time leaving
the nest or it’s the third time
moving this year, finding

roommates is usually the first step. Once
you’ve found your co-inhabitants, you can
begin establishing expectations (how many
rooms, location) and then watch as those
expectations get lowered and lowered as you
realize they were unrealistic to start off with.
Either way, if you find one of your friends is
also in the market for a roommate, I highly
suggest you partner up.

I’m not guaranteeing a hundred percent
success rate for friends turned roommates
by any means. I’ve seen several instances
where people couldn’t get enough of each

other. . until they tried living under the same
roof. But as long as you’re careful and take
necessary precautions, signing a lease with a
friend can be a blast.

The first advantage to living with
friends as opposed to living with strangers is
obvious: you know the person. You have a
general understanding of their likes, and most
importantly their dislikes, if they’re reliable,
if they’re clean/messy or if they’re likely
to invade your privacy. When you agree to
be roommates with someone you haven’t
known on a personal level for any period of
time, you’re never sure what you’re signing
up for. Not to say that all strangers posting
want ads for roommates are serial killers, but
it’s nice if a basis of trust has been formed
BEFORE you're sharing a wall with them.

If you know the person too, you’re more
inclined to know if it’s a good matchup or
not. Maybe you’re both looking to focus on
academics this year or maybe you both want
to stay up late every night playing beer pong;
as long as the lifestyles are similar. Chances
are if you’re a person that needs their eight
hours of sleep, finding out the second night
together that your new roommate frequently
comes home from the bar at two am to pass
out watching cartoons isn’t the housing
situation you’ve been dreaming of.

A huge issue growing up for me was
trust. It seemed anytime I wasn’t in my room,
one of my brothers was going through my
things and taking stuff. I don’t think I could
live with someone that I didn’t completely
trust. I don’t have millions of dollars lying

 

(Paul

in my closet but not having to consciously
count the loonies on my nightstand every
time I leave is refreshing.

If you decide to live with a close friend,
be careful of overexposure. You'll be seeing
each other almost every day which can be
fun, but depending on the foundation of the
friendship, it could get old fast. Just be sure to
maintain a life independent of each other so if
one of you needs space, it’s there.

Where you live should be less of
a house and more of a home. If your
roommates are strangers that you don’t know
and even might not get along with, it will be
harder to establish a welcoming environment.
Choosing my best friend to be my roommate
is definitely a decision I can live with.

 

If you love someone, leave them!

By Stephanie Trembath,
Life and Style Editor

total strangers I picked up off of

craigslist, and I can honestly and
easily say that I cannot wait for the day
when I graduate and have enough money
to live on my own. Nothing against my
family and friends, but when it comes
to sharing the same small space with
others, I prefer my solitude over constant
company.

There are many reasons why you
should never live with friends; at least
while you are in school. I mean, during
midterms and exams tension runs high, a
cloud of angst and apprehension follows
you like a looming cloud of doom, and
everything else in your life is ignored
while you develop a thesis or study
notes you hardly remember taking (if
you bothered taking them at all). These
“things” that may get ignored may include
a list of daily tasks that fall to the wayside
such as: laundry, dishes, cleaning,
cooking, eating, bathing, and feeding
the cat, or you do what I do and hastily
ask for a muffin with your venti coffee
and haphazardly cram it into your mouth
while contemplating which textbook to
open first.

While you may think that your
friends will understand why your
underwear has been sitting beside the tub
for two days, and be sympathetic to why
you have been devouring their groceries,
or why you need absolute silence for
the next three weeks, they won’t. They
may say “ITS OK” but it isn’t. When
you are comfortable with family and
friends, traditional lines of respect and

[= lived with family, friends, and

courtesy’s are eventually forgotten and
ignored because you think they already
love you so it’s OK. I repeat; it is never
OK and it will permanently damage

good friendships and relationships if it

is carried on too long. I was one of those
“ITS OK” people, even when it wasn’t
when I was living with friends; I told
myself the little messes that grew didn’t
bug me and that I didn’t mind the constant
noise and demands. But I did, and my
friend thought it was OK because we were
so close and that nothing could change
our relationship. I got out of there, and
needless to say the friendship thankfully
survived.

I currently live in a houseful of
women (six to be exact) that I met on
craigslist. Before the Christmas break I
had no wall and no door. Let me explain;
my “room” is a living room that has been
separated into two bedrooms, which
means the rent is ridiculously cheap
but privacy is somewhat non-existent.
Over Christmas my living-room-sharing
roommate asked her dad to build a wall
where the curtain was, and my adjacent
doorframe that leads to the hallway
finally received a door. However, for the
first three months I lived there, I had no
door and no wall. When I lived at home
(with three sisters and my mom) I had
four walls and a lock on my door to keep
people out, but no matter how hard I
tried my stuff would always go missing.
Clothes, make-up, books, jackets, stereo
and ipod, bathing suits, alcohol; you name
it and it would mysteriously disappear
only to never be returned, or returned
broken and useless.

In my current residence, even
though I am living with more women

with no wall and no door, none of my
things ever went missing or were used;
which furthers my point that when you
have a relationship with someone, they
will always think it is OK to cross you
even when it isn’t. Living in a houseful
of strangers means that none of us will
ever cross those lines; nobody steals each
other’s stuff, or leaves messes of dishes
in the sink or clothes in the bathroom,

or blasts music really loud at all hours

of the night or day. We all have our own
interests and agendas, so while we all do
our own thing we are totally respectful of
each other at all times.

Honestly, it sometimes gets lonely,
but I figure while I am in school trying
to balance my studies, work, and social
life, I can suffer a few years in a residence
where I have to wait in line after the
cat to use the toilet (yes the cat is toilet
trained, go figure) and are subject to
post-it notes all over the house reading
“PLEASE PLACE UTENSILS FACE
DOWN IN WASHING MACHINE”, and
“LAUNDRY HOURS BETWEEEN 9AM
AND 9PM PLS” and “IF YOU HEAR
SHOWER RUNNING DO NOT FLUSH
TOILET = BURNING!”.

Living with friends has its benefits,
but living with strangers is even better.
You can be a bitch without worrying
about hurting your friend’s feelings, and
by be a bitch I am referring to being
abrasive and honest with others you
live with. For example, my roommate
was prone to having extremely loud and
raunchy sex with her boyfriend on Sunday
afternoons (apparently she missed the do—
not-have-loud-sex memo that is put into
effect when you move out with others). If
this were one of my friends, firstly I don’t

 

think any of my girlfriends would do this
to me, and secondly I would be incredibly
embarrassed to ask my friend to quiet
down. However, I didn’t know this girl

so I told her to knock off the porno flick
imitations, at least while I was home. I
realize you want to be intimate with your
significant other, but it’s possible to have
sex quietly, or perhaps it’s time to get a
place with your partner.

While I am sure my current room-
mates don’t hate me, they are probably
not my biggest fans either, especially
after the whole sex episode and the day
I freaked out about the cat coming in
my room and hacking up hairballs. I am
courteous, keep to myself, tidy up messes,
and will lend out books, DVD*s, and
even clothes if asked. I am not a bitch by
nature, I just do not like to beat around the
bush when I want something done or like
things a certain way. At this point in my
life 1 am busy with school and work, so I
like to relax and enjoy my friends, which
Iam pretty sure wouldn’t last if we were
sharing the same roof arguing over who
wore whose jacket last and whose turn it
is to clean the toilet.