1 = Celebrities Dig Deep into Their Louis Vuittons to Aid Tsunami Victims Amanda Aikman, Managing Editor one of those oversized novelty cheques and a tsunami- relief organization. I don’t mean that to sound cynical or anything. I know, celebrities are people too. People with lots of money. And I think it’s great that they are putting even the tiniest fraction of that money toward something more useful than the re- jewel-encrusting of their limos for the upcoming Academy Awards’ bashes. Not to suggest that celebrities are any tinue contributing and raising funds for the recently mote ethically or morally bound to pony up —_ Steven Spielberg, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jay Leno, Eller for the victims of large-scale calamities— Willie Nelson, Jackie Chan, U2, and even Boy ¢ but, really, it would be kind of disgusting if stepped up to the plate and offered their names, they didn’t. With programs like MTV’s money to the tsunami disaster-relief efforts. Cribs and VH1’s The Fabulous Life showcas- ing the bling-obsessed, frivolous existence be complete until it has spawned a number of benefit of many celebrities (who knew there was far, these events include the Willie —Nelson-headli such a market for gold-plated toilets?), it’s a Relief Austin to South Asia, CBC’s Canada for Asia, a relief to see that some of today’s icons of version of “We are the World,” recorded by Hong Koj song and screen still retain something Jackie Chan, Andy Lau, Jacky Cheung, and others. I resembling a conscience. Take Sandra Bullock, for example. She _ the best of intentions. But they always remind me of ff donated $1million to the American Red episode where the people of Springfield believe a chi Cross (the same organization she reported- _ and the local celebs gather (with Sting) to sing “We’re ly donated $1 million to following the Love Down the Well.” When asked how the song’s ro terrorist attacks of Sept. 11). Now, sure, distributed, Krusty the Klown responds, “First, we ha Sandra Bullock has lots of money (presum- _ promotion, shipping, distribution...those limos out fro ably someone must have paid to see The themselves, you know. Whatevet’s left over, we thro} Net and Miss Congeniality), but $1 million well.” ell it’s official: the celebrity photo-op du jour involves Dae dollars is still pretty damned eS lf ’ \ \ } every celebrity kicked in that amount—not just to aid survivors of | (and pocketbooks) of the many celebrated celebrity h the tsunami disaster, but to various deserving charitable organiza- _ will remain open to other charities in need once the tions worldwide—just imagine how much good could come of it. dimmed on South Asia. Oh, and you don’t have to ha Perhaps it would mean a few celebrities would have to wait until and a drug problem in order to donate money to cf next payday to touch-up the mink lining on their helicopter pads, means, get out there and lend a dollar, a hand, or eve but really, in the big picture, I think it would be worth it. For now, though, South Asia’s bad fortune is receiving the brunt of the glitterati’s good fortune as the rich and And of course, no self-respecting, newsworthy di least would like to believe) that these activities are or Hopefully, that is not the case here. And, hope touch”’ that. she isn’t “Too Fast for Love.” 2 | OUnEPPPeSS the singer of a washed-up ’80s hair-metal band marrying a woman comprised almost entirely of bleach and silicone, ’'m sure I don’t know what it is. Unless of course the aforementioned bride and groom are being married in Las Vegas by MC Hammer—Charles and Di’s legacy “can’t iE there’s anything more romantic than Motley Criie frontman Vince Neil and longtime girlfriend Lia Gerardini exchanged vows on Sunday, Jan 9, at the Four Seasons hotel in Las Vegas. Apparently, Neil had had enough of the “Same OI’ Situation” on the “Wild Side,’ so he had “Dr. Feelgood” pre- scribe him a “Bitter Pill” to help “Kickstart [his] Heart” and get over all the other “Girls, Girls, Girls’ Now that he’s “Enslaved” by Gerardini’s “Looks That Kill,” let’s just hope Guests of the groom included Tommy Lee, Nikki Sixx, Dennis Rodman, and an assortment of aging playmates and third-rate hangers on. Not in attendance, however, was Randy Kubota, who was supposed to be Neil’s best man at the cere- mony. Turns out, Kubota was too busy sustaining seri- ous injuries at a nearby hospital following a pre- wedding party at Neil’s home. The unlucky grooms- man had been discovered in a drainage ditch after apparently being pushed from a moving vehicle. Luckily for the happy couple, Burt Stein, Neil’s ' : : personal managet, was on hand to pick up well behind him, so. its » the best-man slack. unlikely that Mrs: Neil will Following a five-year hiatus (Was it really have that much to “Shout at only five years? It seemed mote like 20.), Motley the Devil” about anymore. In fact, she’s probably lucky if she can get “) ‘& ; ‘e and-eyeliner look isn’t really doing him justice. His Decade of Decadence is Criie have recently reunited and begun touring again. Will renowned party boy Neil be able to °° Love” out of that “Rock ’N’ | resist the temptations of rock and remain faith- these days. Oh, God, that’s lame. In ful to his new bride while on the road? Uh, have S*OP doing that. you seen Neil lately? At 43, the spandex-pants- Janvars = 18/005