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For Sale

Two 128MB Memory Modules
184PIN DDR PC2100 DIMM
With original packages.

A Steal at $45! E-Mail me at
email@scottelliott.com.

1980 Honda CB650
parts, $5 and up. Email
redcoat1812@hotmail.com.

25-spindle 8x DVD-R (burnable @ 16x)
for $6.95 OR 100-pces 8x DVD-R for
$25.00. Please contact Andre at acepccana-
da@gmail.com. Discounts available to
bulk purchases.

Herbal products to improve your health.
Choose an alternative to conventional
medicine. Safe and easy to use. Contact
Alex at natural_cures@hotmail.com or

604.589.8728

Services

Tutor/Proofreader (Ph.D) $25/hour for
essays, thesis, etc. 604.837.1016
or editor888@hotmail.com.

Professional tutor, writing coach, and edi-
tor can help with English 130, 106, 112,
and 109; also Business Communications,
reports, letters, and résumés. Quality guar-
anteed. The Writer’s Touch, www.writer-
stouch.net 604.437.6069.

Vancouver Support group for stutterers.
Every alternate Friday, 7-9pm. Room 4310,
New West campus. For more info, contact
Mary Rose Labandelo: 604.526.1735

OPTions for Sexual Health (formerly
Planned Parenthood) is looking for volun-
teers to assist on the Facts of Life Line, a
toll-free, confidential, sexual health infor-
mation and referral resource line. Call
604.731.4552 ext. 224, or visit
www.optionsforsexualhealth.com.

AVID HALO 2 PLAYER. Need to have
Halo2 game and XBOX Live. Please contact
by email. Jamie Campbell. Jamie
Campbell12345@hotmail.com

WIF

WATER POLO Players Wanted
Students interested in participating

in Intramural/Varsity Douglas Water Polo
call: (604)777-6029(ext.# 3) or
email:sessionpolo@yahoo.ca

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Last Call

Amanda Aikman, OP Columnist

A lot of people don’t dig on Valentine’s
Day. To them, February 14th is not so
much a celebration of love as it is
another opportunity for the axis of evil
that is the world’s florists, chocolatiers,
and greeting-card manufacturers to
make a quick buck. Personally, P’ve
never had a problem with this particular holiday—Thanksgiving always pisses me off and
I’ve got more than my share of issues with Mother’s Day, but it'll be a dry day in January
before you hear me complaining about pink heart decorations and an excuse to binge on
candy. True, I now have a valentine for life, but I have spent many, many V-Days sans
sweety and I never felt ashamed or inadequate. Not because of Valentine’s Day, anyway.

Of course, I can’t deny that there are a lot of things about this “holiday” that are
offensive. For instance, did you know that Americans spend over $1 billion dollars on
Valentine’s Day chocolates each year? One billion dollars. They also spend $930,000,000
on greeting cards. That’s a lot of money. And a lot of waste.

But the statistics aren’t all excessive and vulgar—some are unusual, questionable, and
even flat-out pathetic. Like this one: 3 percent of pet owners in the United States actually
mail their pets Valentine’s cards. Or this one: 15 percent of American women send them-
selves flowers on the 14th of February each year. If you live in Wales, forget about a
dozen long stems, the traditional Valentine’s token over there is an intricately carved
wooden spoon. And if you don’t get fancy wooden spoons or glittery lace-festooned paper
hearts, don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you’re unloved. In fact, it turns out that teachers are
the big winners when it comes to Valentines, receiving substantially more cards than any

 

other faction, including sweethearts.

But why all the fuss and expense in the first place? Who was this St Valentine, and is
he choked that he got the teddy-bears-holding-satin-roses holiday while St Patrick got the
one filled with snakes and drunken Irish chicks?

According to one legend, the V-Man was a brave priest who, by secretly performing
weddings, protested Emperor Claudius II’s outlawing of marriage—apparently Claudius
didn’t think family men made very good killing machines, so unlike some of today’s lead-
ers, he chose to put the kibosh on a// marriages. When his secret ceremonies were discov-
ered, Valentine got the kibosh as well.

Thankfully, the traditions associated with this holiday have evolved over the years.
Some may find the whole flower-and-candy scene a bit hokey and antiquated, but believe
me, it used to be much worse. Apparently, Roman men used to celebrate the day by gath-
ering at a cave, sacrificing a goat and a dog, slicing the hides into strips, dipping the strips
in sacred blood, and then walking through the streets of town slapping women with said
bloody strips of hide. That’s hot. The idea was that the bloody strip lashings made the
women more fertile, and the women responded to this endearing show of affection by
placing their names in a large urn and having the town bachelors draw for them. Man, I
wish we still did that.

However you decide to celebrate this year, with truffles and candlelight or ritualistic
sacrifices and misogyny, here’s to a Happy Valentine’s for us all.

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