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No need to feel lonely

Students can apply for
the Cultural Connections
until February 1

By Glauce Fleury, Contributor

Ree as a Second Language
students have no reason to
feel lonely at Douglas College.
International or domestic
English-for-Academic-Purpose
students starting their first
semester can apply for the
Cultural Connections Program,
for which the deadline is
February 1. This program pairs
newcomers with returning
Canadian or international
students who can then act as
mentors. During the semester,
they spend time together and
help the new students make a
smooth transition into their new
school life.

“For the first semester
students, it’s a great opportunity
to meet somebody who will help
them with their concerns and
will be dedicated to them, and
also to improve their English,”
explains Mehrnaz Kobari,
who coordinates the program,
designed by the International
Office. Ideally, one new student
is paired with one mentor. The
program, however, is adjusted

to the number of applicants, and
mentors can have more than

one mentee. “The returning
students have a lot of benefits,
and can practice sociability,
volunteering, and leadership.”
At the end of the semester, they
can request a reference letter and
improve their resumes.

The participation of
returning students is vital to
the success of the Cultural
Connection. “We need mentors
who are open to new cultures,
ideas, and people coming
from different backgrounds;
they have to be flexible and
compassionate, and act as
leaders to get students involved
because most of them can
be shy,” says Kobari. In the
end, everybody improves the
sociability and feels like part of
a team.

Last fall, nearly 100 students
joined the program. One of
those who joined, Taranjot
Kaur, came from India to study
biology. “Being a student from
different ethnicity and culture
means a whole bunch of new
experiences,” admits Kaur. The
idea of being guided fascinated
her. “I was looking for a friendly
mentor who could understand
my shortcomings as an
international student with the
least idea about the Canadian
community, and the program
exceeded my expectations.” For

   

Komkrit Lertvisitchai, who is in
the University Transfer Program,
making new friends was the
main goal—he came from
Thailand and was interested in
sharing his culture and knowing
others.

Studying anthropology,
Veronica Lopez, one of the
mentors last fall, improved her
interactions with people from
other cultures and improved
her interpersonal skills. She
says the program offered
her all the opportunities she
wanted, but she couldn’t
take advantage properly. “I
didn’t foresee myself being so

Between the Sheets: playing nice

Tips for a healthy
friends-with-benefits
relationship

By Viv Steele, Everyone's Best
Friend

ometimes a person doesn’t

have time for a serious
relationship. Maybe they don’t
even have the time to date.
Their lives are so full of classes,
part-time work, and social
obligations that the thought
of sitting across a table from a
stranger, making small talk for
the hour-long-minimum length
of time is the very last thing they
want to do. That hypothetical
person would probably rather
spend their free hour catching
up on Portlandia or folding

laundry.

But maybe that hypothetical
person (let’s just say it’s me)
also has an itch that needs to
be scratched. So what do I do?

I turn to the joys of the “friend
with benefits,” someone you
already spend time with and feel
comfortable with and who you
find attractive enough to roll
around in the hay with for a bit

66

(and who feels the same about
you). This person could be a
close friend or an acquaintance,
and they’re probably not
someone who you want to burn
through, or hurt, or cast to the
side.

So how do you keep those
sweet benefits flowing while
maintaining a strong friendship?
The key is to keep the friendship
part of the equation strong.

One person in the partnership
could start to feel used if the
arrangement devolves into this
kind of pattern: meet up, take
clothes off, and go straight to
bed.

Make sure, when you're
talking to your special fuck
friend, to keep the conversations
like they used to be: full of
friend stuff. Continue to talk
about your shared interests and
remember the reasons you were

»

Alex Li, Mehrnaz Kobari, and TJ | Photo courtesy of Glauce Fleury

overwhelmed by school,” she
says. The Venezuelan believes
returning students also have one
important role: share what they
learned with the new ones.
Sharing the experience
was one of the reasons that
motivated Alex Li to apply as
a mentor. “I tried to help new
students to adjust to the college
and to the life in Canada,” he
says. The Chinese student, who
studies accounting, remembers
he discussed many interesting
topics and exchanged a lot
of ideas during the weekly
meetings with his mentees.
“Joining the program is an

friends to be begin with.

At the risk of sounding like
a drill sergeant, I should add
that it’s important to have some
rules. Make it clear that if you
do meet someone who you want
to have a serious relationship
with, the friendship between
you and your lover will be able
to switch back to normal mode.
Devise a way to communicate to

Make sure, when youre talking to your special fuck friend, to
keep the conversations like they used to be: full of friend stuff

each other when it’s time to put
on the brakes; like, for example,
if one half of the arrangement
develops feelings beyond the
previously-agreed-upon “Hey-
let’s-just-fuck” agreement.

If feelings are developed on

effective shortcut to know
more about the college and the
Canadian culture.”

Tf you’re interested in applying to
be amentee or a mentor, students
can visit the Douglife website,

and fill in the application: http://
www.douglife.ca/2012/volunteer-
opportunities/cultural-connections-
program-fall-2012. Later, the
applicants must also attend the
Meet & Connect Social event where
all the students are introduced.

To get more information, talk to
Mehrnaz Kobari by phone (604)
527-5845 or email kobarim@
douglascollege.ca.

just one side of the arrangement,
it can be a recipe for a broken
heart and a shattered friendship.
So keep the communication
open: it’s better to deal with
issues of the heart as they come
up, and not let them fester like

a leg wound that will later

have to be amputated. Above
all, honour and respect the
friendship that got you two
together to begin with. The
extracurricular sexcapades will
help you blow off some steam,
but remember that it came about
because you just really like to
hang out with each other.

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