are not is common, but problematic, she said.

“It’s important for people to look at the big picture,” Igneski said. “Before
one is able to figure out if it justifiable to lie in the situation, they have to
consider all of the effects and whether or not they would want to be treated in
this same way.”

From a broader societal perspective, many have argued that lies are
beneficial—even necessary —to maintain balance in a world of chaos.

Nietzsche, for example, stated, “There is only one world, and that world is
false, cruel, contradictory, misleading, senseless . . . We need lies to vanquish
this reality, this ‘truth,’ we need lies in order to live.” :

Bok presented this example in her text as a confusion of the many
unintentional or blameless deceptions in life and deliberate lying. She argued
that we must distinguish between the intentional deceit of others and other
factors that influence human experience to determine whether it is possible for
people to be entirely truthful.

. The recent film The Invention of Lying, directed by Ricky Gervais and
Matthew Robinson, took a stance similar to Nietzsche. The film presented a
world in which no one could lie and the characters were constantly miserable
under the weight of painful truth. In it, Gervais’s character invented lying,
creating with it a skeleton version of Christianity and a sense of hope that
people simply did not have in their world of perfect honesty.

Lying is frequently a problem in relationships, romantic-or not, and
altruism is not always a sufficient justification for the person being lied to.

“T think at the centre of any [close] relationship is respect and trust. You
would have to ask yourself if you feel like you are being respected by a person

who is deceiving you” for the good or for the bad, Igneski said.

Trust is built on honesty, which means lying can be a damaging force.
“We couldn’t engage in the most simple or basic relationships with”
others if we couldn’t trust that they were telling us the truth. Think of a simple

example of stopping a stranger to ask for directions. All of our interactions
and communications with others rest on an assumption that they are generally
being truthful.”

However, Igneski maintained that there are certainly benefits to lying.

She gave the example of telling me I was the best journalist she had ever
read and as a result, theoretically giving me the confidence to continue writing.
While this is a positive outcome, she cautioned against missing more subtle
implications of lies like this. Could I trust anything else she tells me? If I
believed her and chose writing over another pursuit, would she be responsible
for misleading me? She also added, “Is it up to me to decide what you would
want to hear or what is best for you? Isn’t this too paternalistic?”

Her provoking questions returned to the issue of whether or not any lie is
completely harmless in the grand scheme of things.

“Does it matter if there is a benefit to it?” Igneski asked.
People lie to protect themselves and others, sometimes with damaging effects.
Nonetheless, Igneski felt it was important to try to avoid lying.
“T think it would be an unrealistic goal for someone to say they will never
lie; however, it would be realistic for someone to say that they will more
seriously consider the perspective of the person being lied to, the long-term
consequences to their relationships and to society more generally.”