the other press e Halithurber © opinionsubmit@hotmail.com October 29, 2003 Jack-o’-lantern Stew Kali Thurber Opinions Editor The pumpkin is the most underrated vegetable in Western cooking. Really, think about it. Once a year we participate in the mass destruction of millions of perfectly good pumpkins for the sake of mild entertainment that lasts one night. The poor pumpkin family waits all winter and sum- mer for its 15 minutes of fame—only to be bru- tally butchered and tossed away in post- Halloween haste. I declare that we put a stop to this discrimination. The pumpkin will be appre- ciated for what it is—a food! Here is a recipe that will begin the transformation of the misrepre- sented pumpkin’s identity. It was a Thai soup originally, but has been adapted for the numb tastes of Western palates. I think you'll find that pumpkin can engage in a wonderfully smooth relationship with coconut cream, when the right care is put into it. But don't worry—this is a very simple soup, which does not insist on you slaving away in the kitchen for hours on end. Alright, here we go. To start, combine the pumpkin, stock or water, ginger, and lemongrass in a saucepan. Cover, and bring to a boil. Now, reduce the heat to medium-low, and simmer until the pumpkin is tender, about 12 minutes (this is mass destruction too—but in the name of food, who can resist?). Add your scallions and cook briefly. Pour the pumpkin mush into a blender and mix until partially pureed. Pour half of the coconut cream in and mix until smooth, (they’re a beautiful couple, aren’t they?). Transfer the mix- ture back into the saucepan, adding half of the remaining coconut cream. Season with salt and white pepper. Heat the soup on medium-low, and do not allow it to boil. Now taste and adjust for seasoning, and squeeze in the lime or lemon juice. Ladle the soup into bowls, add remaining coconut cream, forming a swirl on top of each bowl, and garnish with lime zest. You now have yourself a fabulous fall soup to impress your friends and relatives. And the pumpkin is much appreciative of its newfound recognition. Page 6 e _hittp://www.otherpress.ca Rules to Follow for the Coffee Connoisseur/Bohemian Wannabe Kali Thurber Opinions Editor S — L/ The aroma of roasted beans drifts through the air with the tremendous grace of a dan- delion spreading its seeds, as the daily bus- tle struggles in slow motion throughout the thick air of the coffee shop. A man with a fedora silently sits outside smoking a cigar in a pinstriped suit. The door creaks as it opens and every- one inside looks up nonchalantly. There you stand— but who are you? Can you make it in the flagrantly, nihilistic world of the coffee shop, or will you dissolve in ordinariness and be shunned back into the droopy rain outside? This is a question you will have to answer yourself. If your decision is to slide into the demeanour of the bohemian coffee sipper and spend the rest of your days wasting away in an intellectual stupor, here are a few rules of the trade. However, if you just want to get your non-fat, extra foam, caramel-flavoured latte and leave—I suggest you run to the nearest Starbucks and don’t bother the nice folks who spend their lives creat- ing this tone that you would so clearly ruin. For those of you who answered yes to the first option, read these rules carefully, and don’t forget—this is not just about coffee for Christ’s sake. 1. Frequent only one coffee shop Finding the right caffeine-junkie hideout can prove to be a tough job, I know. But brace yourself because it must be done. Look for a place with a patio (all good bohemians chain-smoke) that is located on a busy street (otherwise who's going to see you?). Once you have found your niche in the coffee world, do not stray to other shops. This is important, I have seen too many good coffee drinkers go down the tubes because they cannot stick to one place. You don’t want to end up a coffee shop whore, after-all. 2. Make enemies not friends That’s right, you heard me. Stiffen up and shut up. You're not going to be idolized by the simple street folk if youre chatting the other regulars up, and calling everyone by their first names. If you must talk to some- one, do it with the least amount of courtesy possible. Mumble and babble nonsense until everyone assumes you're an artist and can't be bothered to speak in proper sentences. The Other Press 3. Dress accordingly There is an unspoken dress code in all coffee shops, so don’t let yourself be fooled into believing you can wear whatever you please. You might get the impression that the other regulars don’t care about fashion, since there are probably a few wool plaid coats and so many dark- rimmed eyeglasses you feel blinded, but the reality is quite the opposite. The entourage you decide on all depends on what type of coffee-swilling bohemian you intend to disguise yourself as. The handle-bar mous- tache thing works well for some, bright, red lipstick often confuses people to your advantage, and a black beret always reeks of intelligence. 4. “The regular” The fewer words the better. This way even if you're not terribly intelligent, everybody will assume you are— because of the beret, fool. Stupid people never wear berets. Now, there are two ways to order and still main- tain the facade of being the mysterious character that you have created. Firstly, you can stumble up to the counter and bark “the regular” to the barista. She prob- ably has no idea who you are or what you want but your harsh assertive attitude will scare her into making you something, I’m sure. Or, you can flop your arm in the direction of the last customer and grumble, “the same.” Actually, no—that might make you a friend. Careful, those bastards are always trying to get to you. 5. Now get in the corner and scowl All self-respecting bohemians hate everybody else. And what better place to let everyone know you're there than the corner where you can see everything. Also, this makes it impossible for others like you to scowl at you without your knowledge. Sometimes a book is useful in this situation for diverting attention away from your darting eyes. But do not just grab any book off the shelf—your choice of reading material (it doesn’t really matter if you read it or not) is crucial to your character. Try One Hundred Years of Solitude, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, or something equally self- indulgent. Most of your time should be spent staring off at the floor anyways, so it doesn’t really matter. O.K., so now youre set. Furrow your brow, and tap your fin- gers—you are now a bohemian.