fifo

 

Read this text and then let’s talk.

I’m staring

kj at a pile of
USB cables
and phone
chargers in
the corner of
my house right now and it’s not a pretty
sight. But such has become the norm
these days. Admittedly, I was late on
the scene when it came to getting a cell
phone and it’s a decision that I almost
came to regret. In fact, I wish I could
go back to using a plain old landline.
You know, that nostalgic fire bell ring,
the dog-bone shaped receiver and best
of all, the rotary dials.

Maybe I’m a bit old fashioned, but
the communications boom of the past
eight years or so has really sucked the
life out of a lot of things. Sure with
landlines you might be tethered to the
wall, but big deal, when you spoke
on the phone you usually weren’t
multitasking anyway. Today, with cell
phones, conversations are completely

 

 

watered down, mere snippets of real
conversation, people talking in sound
bytes as opposed to dialogue and
invariably, they start with the question
“Where are you?”

So you’re sitting in a coffee shop
or pub with a friend and having a great
chat, and then her phone rings. You’ve
been there, as the person who gets
cut off mid-conversation, awkwardly
having to stare around the room or
nurse their drink, while your friend
gabs on to someone who’s not even
there.

Vintage phones have become
fashionable these days. There’s a place
online that sells what they lovingly
call “traditional phones;” Old Bell
& Howell rotaries from the 1960s or
Western Electric Co. yellow donut
phones from the ‘70s! These are good,
sturdy treasures that will last 30 years
and should be preserved. Cell phones
are whiny, they beep when the batteries
are about to die, they get lost all the

 

time and are only built to last maybe a
year, two if you’re lucky. My parents
have a wall mounted phone they
bought in the 1980s still hanging on
their kitchen wall, it still works like
a charm, and you can even call your
own number, hang up and it’ll ring!
Remember those days when you could
crank call undetected by ordering a
pizza to the house across the street?
Call me old fashioned but kids these
days are missing out.

There were never any mystery
charges with the landlines either. With
cells you often get these undecipherable

and outrageously complicated phone
bills. Your first reaction is always, “I’m
not paying this!” There is fee after
fee, mounted one on top of the other.
“System access?” Seriously? That’s just
double billing.
Parents also have less control
over how much their kids rack up on
these bills. That “Text ‘joke’ to 34443
scam” does nothing but add $1.50 to
your bill everyday. Kids see the ads
and don’t hear that there’s a charge.
The consequences of running up your
phone bill can even be deadly. In 2002,
a 16-year-old South African boy killed
himself after his parents scolded him
over a $271 bill. And don’t forget all
those poor suckers out there who don’t
realize how much you can rack up
by surfing the net. Some 22-year-old
schmuck in Alberta got dinged $85,000.
“Unlimited talk and text,” bah! You
could always do that with landlines.

 

Understanding

By Priscilla Bartleman

Victoria just over two years ago
now. When I told people that things
were different here than in Victoria they

| to the lower mainland from

said to me: “But it is just across the
water.”

Well, being across the water still
gives Vancouver a completely different
lifestyle and city culture. Time has gone
by and I am pretty excited to say I think
I am figuring you people out!

I always wondered why people
discouraged me from driving as
much as possible. They told me that
downtown Vancouver was the worst
driving in the city. They were right!

I was told by my aunt “When it
rains, use the inside lane.” I thought
that was weird until I drove in the
rain and realized there are mini lakes
of water that accumulate in the outer
lanes. They were absolutely terrible.

So I took peoples advice and
started to take transit. My very first
transit ride I was pulled off the train
because I had a one zone fare and
needed a two. I was let off the hook
for that ticket because I showed them
my directions and they believed it was
my first train ride. I also got directions
from them when leaving the station. At
the time I could not believe there were
people required to patrol transit but I
8

Vancouverites

understand why now.

Once I started to take transit more,
I began to people watch and I was
so confused. I wondered why people
always had umbrellas. Why were they
asleep most of the time? And why did
they always have some sort of shopping
bag? I thought, “My goodness, how
much shopping can one city do?”

Yes, I now realize that the
umbrellas are for the relentless rainfall
we experience year round. I realize it is
not always clothing in those shopping
bags, it could also lunch or a small
umbrella for those who do not carry
the large ones. I also know why you
are asleep. It is because you ride for so
long that it is the perfect time to either
do homework, read, eat, reflect, or
sleep; and sleep is the best option for a
busy life.

I remember the first time I visited
Vancouver. I could not understand
how so many model-thin people were
eating so much pizza. At the time I
came to the conclusion that it is a secret
recipe with diet medication fen-phen
in the pizza that prevents pizza-related
obesity. But alas, my question was
never answered. I can only assume it
is the fast moving, cheap and cheesy
obsession that keeps people going back
for more slices. I think I am figuring
you Vancouverites out! I am beginning
to figure out why you do what you

do and I am proud to say that just last
week I was asked for directions, so I
think I am beginning to blend in and
look like I somewhat belong. I may

      
  
 

 

not be one of you just yet and I may not
have all the answers to questions I have
about you eccentric characters, but I am
well on my way.

g
44d

Umm~
That's
Vancouver~