Re ee eee

 

Ceedees _

Aurally
vated
#66

JASON KURYLO

Hugh Cornwell

Black Hair Black Eyes
Black Suit

Velvel Volume: 7.5 ~

How many rock musicians
have a PhD in biochem-
istry? Hugh Cornwell does,
and while you won't find

cornwell

mT black hair
Be. black eyes
black suit

hugh

 
     

any songs about mitochon-
dria on Black Hair Black
Eyes Black Suit, you will
find an intelligence uncom-
mon in music today.

Gross generalization
alert: Unlike American
icons, who often tend to be
academic losers, British
celebs tend to have a uni-
versity background.
Cornwell is typically
British, then, bringing his
clever observations and wry
wit to his music. Former
frontman for The
Stranglers, he’s known for

page 14 the Other Press

 

this, and for what can only
be described as his cool-ass
voice.

When Cornwell starts the
lead track with “I’m going
to try to steal a car, drive
it off with you some-
where,” you almost want to
pack your kit bag for the
trip.

B*Witched
self-titled
Sony Music
Volume: 5
Cheese
Factor: 8

Warning:
this review is
best read in an annoyingly
pompous announcer’s voice.
The critic cannot be held
responsible for throat
injuries or relationship
problems caused by this
sort of activity.

Do you prance around
your home in ill-chosen,
unbecoming childish out-
fits? Have you ever sung
along with the radio, emu-
lating an aging Elton John
in ruining already cheap
pop ballads? Would you
like to travel the world,
punching inanely and
snarling inappropriately
whilst purring in front of
thousands of adoring fans
willing to spend their
allowances on your pathet-
ic poses?

Now, you too can own
your very own Spice Girls
franchise! The mysterious
popularity of the Spiced

May 1999

 

Ones has led to this fabu-
lous new offer. The first
franchise has already been
snapped up by British four-
some B*Witched, who've
just released their first full
length album. The record is
cleverly entitled B*Witched.
The vocals are predictably
better than
® the Spice
Girls—how
could they
not be?—
they're
consistent
and some-
what lis-
tenable,
but tend to
sag under such expertly
penned ditties as “We Four
Girls” and “Blame it on the
Weatherman.”

Many aspiring singers
are attracted to the idea of
being Spice franchisees,
dreaming of Ginger Spice’s
formula: Sing for the
happy cheesepop band
until you're hopelessly
famous, then spin off and
do what you really want,
what you really
really want.

Call now! 1-
800-SELL-OUT!

Crash Test
Dummies

Give Yourself a
Hand

BMG

Volume: 6.5

 

he Crash Test
To have never

been a mainstream
pop band. Sure, they've
sold over 10 million
records, most notably
seven million copies of God
Shuffled His Feet, based
largely on the quirky cross-
over hit ‘Mmm Mmm Mmm
Mmm: Sure, you can hear
‘Superman's Song, a
sombre—and oddly
prophetic—pisstake on the
Man of Steel’s funeral, on
just about any radio
station in the world. And
sure, He Liked To Feel It is
one of the few videos to
garner enough high-profile
airplay to be protested by
the mysteriously powerful
American Christian right.

Sure. But they've never
been mainstream.

These facts belie a sim-
ple fact about the
Dummies: they're just plain
weird. Lead singer Brad
Roberts’ obsession with
observational minutiae is
legendary—entire songs
about body fluids are not

out of the
ordinary,
and the
third
Dummies
album was
named
after a
song writ-
ten from
the first-
worm perspective of a
tequila-pickled inverte-
brate. Intense, spiralling