issue 16// vol 46 opinions // no. 15

That's a spicy take!

» Why hot sauce isn’t enjoyable anymore

Morgan Hannah
Life & Style Editor

 

H sauce, especially when its doused
unevenly on wings in practically every
bar in the lower mainland, isn’t any good.
Why? Because it’s just Frank’s RedHot
sauce! Nothing more, nothing less. Don’t
get me wrong, Frank’s is delicious! It truly
is—the subtle sweetness with a back
burner of spicy—but when they, as they
say, “put that shit on everything” and
when it’s all the same everywhere you go,
these poor, poor taste buds are just dying
for something different.

Whatever happened to trying to
be original? Trying to craft something
delicious? Or just trying to be the odd one
out of the competitive field? With so many
hot sauce flavours out there, it really is
mind boggling to me why every pub, bar,
and restaurant I’ve come across seems to
always serve Frank’s. It just seems lazy to
me.

A couple of days ago I watched a
video on YouTube by the Try Guys that
sparked my hot sauce outrage. If you
haven't heard of the 6.8 million subscriber
channel, they are a group of four men in
their thirties who previously worked for
Buzzfeed. They like to try stuff—pregnancy

simulators, odd diets, karate, aerial silks,
and attempting to eat 400 dumplings in
one sitting... unfortunately not possible but
still wildly entertaining. Any-whoodles,
Keith Habersberger, the humorous one of
the group, has a real food fetish and made a
video about travelling far and wide to make
his very own hot sauce for chicken. Let

me say that again. This man went out and
made his own hot sauce. Does that not tell
all of you—the pubs, bars, and restaurants
just using Frank’s—something? Something
clearly important? He’s not even the only
YouTuber making hot sauces!

We NEED to up our sauce game, folks.
Certainly when it comes to hot sauce... and
especially when it comes to a hot sauce for
chicken! Think of those luscious breasts,
thighs, and wings! We need more creativity
and passion in our kitchens—commercial
or otherwise. Don't just go for a bottle of
Frank’s because it's code, traditional, or
easy! Mix it up. Make it new. Travel far and
wide in search of delicious ingredients for
hot sauce! If restaurants would send me, I'd
be a mercenary sauce connoisseur for the
sake of original, great-tasting chicken (and
other things) everywhere.

What gets your goat?

» People with unclean feet and habits

Tania Arora
Staff Writer

 

wouldn't be lying if I said I have literally

stopped inviting people to my place or
started making excuses... so people don’t
enter my house. Only few of the lot who
either know me well are permitted inside.

You might be wondering whether this
trait is due to aging, due to me trying to
isolate myself, or due to me becoming more
selfish. It is none of the above—the answer
is dirty feet. Call me paranoid, or whatever
term you want to, but I cannot tolerate
people walking around the house barefoot
and then climbing up onto the sofa or my
bed. Some people go so far as to playing
with blankets or pillows using their feet...
why do they do that? I clean my house
everyday but still—every time you open the
door, enter the house, or walk around with
flip-flops on, the dust spreads around.

I have three extra pairs of flip-flops
in my house of universal size to fit anyone
who comes to meet me at my place—and
as soon they enter, | point them towards
the flip-flops. My super cute friends who
know this by now simply ask for them
when they enter.

For those of you who still think I
am stupid, let me explain. You go out for
groceries. You unknowingly step onto a dog
poop, a cat poop, or any creature’s poop
that lives on this planet earth. You come
back and walk, not completely inside the
house but in the living room or even the
smallest area inside your house. Guess
what? Poop all over. Now when you walk
barefoot, you basically rubbed your feet
into all the germs and dirt spread on the

floor... including the poop. You climb the
couch or bed to relax or sleep with dirt
wrapped all around your feet. Imagine
wrapping your feet around the blanket,
then around your body, then around your
face and head.

Do you feel like expressing disgust?

I wash all my bedsheets or pillowcases
if ] see someone messing around them with
their unclean feet. I feel no shame anymore
in asking people to either cover their feet
because I do not wish to get sick or put on

 

Photo by Billy Bui

a poopy face mask. There is also a second
category of people who are not welcome in
my home... People who go to the washroom
without the bathroom slippers on. I don’t
even have to say it. Mic drop.