The Other Press sweeps awards at The Other

Press awards show

> Douglas College proven to have the best

student newspaper after winning 36 trophies

Greg Waldock
Best Staff Writer

 

he Other Press is celebrating a

journalistic victory this week after
being awarded the Other Press’ “Best
Douglas College Newspaper” trophy
for being the best Douglas College
newspaper. The event was hosted,
covered, and attended exclusively by
the Other Press, though neighbouring
university and college papers were
invited, as a show of supremacy. UBC’s
Ubyssey, SFU’s The Peak, and Kwantlen’s
The Runner were all nominated
for awards but were immediately
disqualified and brutally mocked.

The Other Press Editor-in-Chief
Chandler Walter gave himself three
awards: “Best Editor-in-Chief,” “Greatest
Editor-in-Chief,” and “Most Talented
Editor-in-Cheif,” the last one being a
typo on the trophy that simply slipped
through the cracks. This reporter won
the “Best Staff Writer Whose Name
Starts with G” and “Most Consistently
Late Articles” awards, and they are

currently sitting in my trophy case at
home with spotlights on full display.
The trophies themselves are made of
solid gold and depict a figure admiring
their own reflection in a mirror. Thirty-
six trophies in all were made at the full
expense of the school, which brought
the cost of the whole event to a few
hundred thousand dollars, happily
paid for by Douglas College students
(expect to see it reflected in a minor
tuition hike next semester). It was all
worth it for the morale boost and the
opportunity for members of the paper
to act out aristocratic fantasies by
throwing whale shark caviar at each
other, which probably added a good two
hundred bucks to each student’s tuition.
The night was wrapped up with
a series of mock awards like “Worst
Capilano Newspaper” and “Worst Paper
Based on a Mountaintop,” all sent to
a variety of our student newspaper
rivals across the province, along with
extremely nasty letters and photos of
the Other Press crew flipping the bird at
their campuses. By this point we were all
pretty wasted on expensive champagne,

AWARD
BEST NEWSPAPER AWARD 2018
The Cther Pucse

so we all tried to award each other

the “Worst Co-worker” trophy before
getting into a fight on the SkyTrain. The
Other Press would like to thank the
students and staff of Douglas College
for the opportunity to throw sucha
lavish and decadent celebration of our

 

Photo by Analyn Curato

own greatness, even if we didn’t ask first
and just kind of took the money. We

are also legally obligated to apologize

to the many restaurants we visited and
multiple police departments that were
called. We look forward to an even more
successful awards ceremony next year.

 

   
  
  

 
    

WELP, TM BACK FROM

WORK AND LOOKING

FORWARD TO SNUGGLES!
\

  
 

GOOD EVENING STR, [ TRUST YOU
{AM AT PRESENT OCCUPIED WITH

 

HAVE HAD A PLEASANT DAY?

 

 

THIS QUITE FASCINATING BOOK,

 

 

 

 

 

YOU WHAT!

 

     

       
      
  
 

BEEN READING JANE
AUSTEN AGAIN HAVE YOU?

   

»TDARESAY YOU LOOK MOST
BEAUTIFUL TODAY, MY DEAR MADAM

   

 

   

 

 

 

Comic by Nuclear Jackal

AN, YOU FLATTER ME n 100 LOOK
VERY WELL TODAY, STR. WOULD YOU CARE 10
JOTN ME FOR A WALK 10 THE PARK AFTER SUPPPER?}

 

 

 

 

Comic by Rella