IS a Serene

Shark Tale

Vince Yim, OP Sharkslayer

Featuring the voices of Will Smith, Jack Black, Robert
DeNiro, Renee Zelvegger, Martin Scorcese, and Angelina
Jolie.

While technology becomes more advanced, it is
becoming progressively harder and harder to be
impressed with films that are animated by comput-
“ers. Thankfully, many filmmakers behind these
projects have incorporated superior scripts. This is
how we are able to see Academy Award-winning
flicks such as Shrek and Finding Nemo. However, for
every one of those, we have the likes of Shark Tale.

Given the film’s setting, Shark Tale will immedi-
ately gain comparison to Pixar’s Finding Nemo.
Despite that, one might be inclined to think that
Shark Tale could stand on its own merits, but it sim-
ply cannot. Think back to the films Any and A Bugs
Life, which were released around the same time as
each other—despite having similar settings and
themes, each had solid storylines and memorable
characters. This is not the case with Shark Tale. For
one, Finding Nemo had a good script and well-devel-
oped characters.

Shark Tale is billed as a comedy, although much
of the humour is built upon stereotypes and dated
pop-culture references that are literally crammed
down the viewer's throat. While the kids may be

entertained, the more seasoned moviegoers will be
rolling their eyes by the time Oscar starts rapping to
MC Hammer (“You can’t touch this!’’) and starts
spouting clichéd one-liners from better movies
(“You had me at hello!” “You can’t handle the
truth!”).

The characterization in this film is nothing to
write home about either. While not necessarily wor-
thy of boycotts from Italian special interest groups
(I only wish I was kidding), the fact that the charac-

ters never really rise above their stereotypes doesn’t

 

say much for the movie.

Admittedly, the film does have its moments, and
many scenes will certainly entertain kids. But the
benchmark of all animated films has traditionally
been an appeal for both adults and children, which
this film clearly does not have. What it does have are
derivative jokes and humour completely devoid of
subtlety. Regardless of any technical merit, Shark
Tale doesn’t break enough ground to make it worth-
while. Clearly, your entertainment dollar is better
spent elsewhere.

 

Slanted/Disenchanted

Adam Gagnon, OP Contributor

The OP needs a quippy homo (a good one anyways)
worse than Meg Ryan needs validation from edgy
roles, so since I’m locked in A & E Editor Kali
Thurbet’s apartment, I thought I’d do her a favour.
Though, heaven only knows why I should be so
generous with my talents. She locked me in her
apartment. I guess that’s just a testament to my giv-
ing spirit. But enough of my personal dilemma and
onto a broader one. Where to meet boys—gay boys,
that is. Now, there was a time when I was more suit-
ed to write this, but I just don’t go to gay places very
much anymore. Why? ’Cause they all suck, that’s
why. Don’t believe me? Well, let’s have a look at
them.

The Odyssey (The “O,” formerly The Inevitable)
With the design savvy one might expect from a
barn, this shithole really belies the myth of the
“stylish gay population.” Until recently, The
Odyssey was considered the only option in certain
circles. It ran a gay monopoly on the young club
scene as the only establishment catering strictly to
fags, unlike the gay club nights at straight bars. I feel
I can’t neglect to mention the patio. It kicks ass. But
the only times I’ve had fun there were when I was

I | OUEPPPESS

frothing-at-the-mouth drunk. Be nice to the bar-
tenders. They free-pour.

The Dufferin (The Duff, The Flufferin, The
Sufferin, etc.)

I wish I hadn’t already called The “O” a shithole,

 

because if it stinks, The Duff is positively toxic.
Recent “renovations” (paintings and rearranging
furniture) have improved the karaoke lounge, but
the main bar still looks like a boudoir set in a com-
munity theatre. This place draws a really mixed
crowd: straight kids who spill over from karaoke,
Drag Queens, the very old, and the suspiciously

young—all united by cheap (used to be cheaper)
beer. Mixed is cool. This does, however, attract what
a mote crass personality than myself might call “the
dregs of society.” And believe me, the outcasts in an
outcast culture are, well, cast far out. (I recently
decided that P've embarrassed myself there more
than enough and don’t plan to return for
some time.)

Celebrities (Not hip enough to know of any nick-
names, but I pray no one is calling it Celebs)

Ive only been to Celebrities twice, as it reopened
after I sort of gave up. I went after the Parade when
there was no cover, (it was four in the afternoon)
and I really liked how it looked. The other time I
went after drinking too much Jim Beam and got
shot down trying to pick up my ex. The rejection
sucked and so did the music (crappy gay house), as
well as the $8 cover. They have a Hip Hop night on
Wednesdays, I think, ‘and $2-highball Tuesdays. I
haven’t checked those out yet though, so don’t let
my failure deter you.

This is probably long enough for now. Besides, I
got a hold of Kali at The OP office and she’s com-
ing to free me. Next time: Numbers wins the most
predictable name award, I examine The Pumpjack
(our candy leather bar), and The Cambie (the gayest
straight bar or the straightest gay bar?).

OChOber § 6/2000