4

SaVE 3RITISH COLUMBIA

There exists a map, crawn around the vear 1000 A.D. and well
known to all of us who are dabbling in history, which shows Jerusalem
as the geozgrsephical centre of the earth. No doubt, this realization
filled all good vhristians in those davs with extreme satisfaction and
strengthenec their resolve to endure their stav on this earthly vale
of tears and to fulfil treir duty to both God and mankind. Of recent, we
hear that a dispute concerning peozgraphv is rocking our vrovince: the
f00d town of Ferrie - or at least its Foard of Trade - feels slishtenec
by its omission from a map and is threatening to turn its back on us.
In order to calm ruffled feathers I humbly suggest that the Geozraphy
Departments of Notre Dame University and Selkirk College join torces
and redraw the map of British Columbia, showing fernie as the geograph-
ical centre of our province. That ought to calm the storm in a tea cup
\i.e., the East Kootenays).

However, Fernie is not the only trouble spot in our province:
I understand that the Chambers of Commerce of Kimberley and %olden have
also threatened to opt out of Red tyranny. I feel heartfelt sympathy
for them and sugzest that their road to freedom should be paved with
gold: every one of those who voted for joinine neighbouring alberta
ought to be provided with a one-wav bus ticket to Calgary. The funds
might be provided by the provincial authorities under the heacings of
"local improvement." Surely, what was good enough for alexander Solzhen-
itsyn ought to be good enough for the members of a Chamber of vVommerce.
Another trouble spot appears to lie in the Cariboo area where an inde-
pendence movement, led by its !LA, seems to be under wav. Here a more
complex solution might be attemoted: all the liberty-lovins inhaoitants
of tnat region, led by its elected revresentative, ought to emigrate to
the freedom-loving republic of Chile where they woulc not be in any
danger of being exposed to socialist lerislation. rurthernore, I surrest
that the exodus be performed in the nuce. The explanation for such a
display might be threefold: South America has, in the past, accented a
goodly number of Doukhooors from Canada without any apnarent cifriculty -
the physical climate apparently eminently suitable; snoulc that explan-
ation fail to fain admit-ance to the Latin-American free-enterprise
paradise, the exiies might explain that thev are engagec in a 6000 miles
"streak", thereby not only setting a world recore but also finally
proving beyond any doubt that a certain political party has moaernized
its practices by shedcing the stern comportment of its founcer. at a
pinch, they might claim thet the greedy Socialists took tre very clothes
a@f their backs?