get too attached? Thanks.
— Versatile And Generous

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Corporate Security or Bad Movie?

By Meysam Motazedi

 

I have watched a number of “Film-
Noir” style Hollywood flicks over the
years. Needless to say, it’s always been
an utterly thrilling experience; the
alluring portrayal of the femme fatale
character, the classic black and white
cinematography and, last but not least,
the incredibly harsh interrogation scene
where the classic “good-cop, bad-cop,”
routine was born. But never could I
have imagined that, for 15 minutes, in
the afternoon of Tuesday, October 23,

I would be playing Humphrey Bogart
myself—subjected to a series of harsh
criticisms, under the force of a stern
interrogation set in a dungeon that is
used for storing additional inventory.

I’m referring to the ridiculously

absurd means that corporate security
officers would employ in order to unveil

what they assume to be the
truth behind a certain incident.
In this particular case, Bell
Canada was the corporation
and, I, the poor sap being
drilled by their goombahs.
What had led to such drastic
measures being taken? Well,
being a part-time employee of
Bell Canada and a full-time
student at Douglas College, I
was informed by my co-workers
that I could take advantage

of the tuition reimbursement
benefits that the company
offers to its employees. The
only catch is that the money
would be reimbursed after a year of
employment is completed. Also, the
tuition reimbursement is only good

for business related courses. I met all
the criteria. So I decided to go online
and apply. The online application

was dinky too say the least— you
would basically log in to the portal,
answer a few insignificant questions
and then click apply for tuition
reimbursement.

But, what happens next is completely
unexpected and unorthodox. Instead of
having an administrative staff look at
the application and determine whether
or not I would be eligible, Bell, instead,
decided to send two “Meat-heads,”
down to where I work to interrogate and
scare the living-shit out of me in hope
of finding out the truth. I was informed

by my manager that we should go take
a walk and go to the downstairs storage
room (a shady, claustrophobic little
room located in the basement level of
the mall). And so I did, not knowing
what would be awaiting me. Before I
knew it, I was being shadowed by two
rather intimidating characters. I was
then led into the basement storage room
by my manager and told to take a seat.
The two men also entered shortly after
and, without any proper introduction

as to what was taking place, started
firing questions at me, “How long have
you been with the company? Do you
know who we are? Do you know why
we’re here? No! You have no idea?” My

“In the midst of the
whole shenanigan I

realized this could very

well be a classic film-
noir scene.”

answer to all their questions was, “No, I
haven’t got a clue!”

I was put under immense amount
of pressure both emotionally and
mentally. And, it was in the midst of the
whole shenanigan that I realized this
could very well be a classic film-noir
scene—their body language, the way
they conducted the whole affair and the

laughably unimpressive attempt to pull
off a good-cop bad-cop routine.
It left me hindered and debilitated.
I was both shaken and furious at the
same time for having been destroyed
and frightened by these bimbos. When
I questioned them as to the merits of
such, “Stalin-like,” behaviour, I was
told that, “any behavioural study course
would clearly outline the importance of
putting the accused under pressure in
order to get the truth out of him/her.”
According to them, they were
protecting the company’s valuable
assets because what I had done
constituted a breach in the code of
conducts. I had to wait for a year to pass
by before applying for reimbursement.
Similar incidents had occurred in
different stores where the employee
had received the funds, without
any verification, and neglected to
inform his/her superiors about it. It
was based on such circumstantial
and inconclusive evidence that they
(the Corporate Security Heads) had
decided to make a move on me.
These tactics would, inevitably,
prove to be counter-productive and
ineffective, since they presumed guilt
before knowing all the facts and based
that guilt on flawed assumptions.
Furthermore, utilizing such inhumane
and barbaric approaches would only
serve to tarnish a company’s reputation
and result in the loss of their real assets,
the employees.

11