a ——« Wor ak tt the ther Press Volume 23 © Issue 8 * October 28 1998 Room 1020-700 Royal Avenue New Westminster, BC V3L 5B2 submit@op.douglas.bc.ca Fax 525.3505 or 527.5095 David Lam Campus Room a3107 Phone 527.5805 The Other Press is Douglas College’s autonomous student newspaper. We've been pub- lishing since 1976. The Other Press is run as a non-hierar- chical collective, which means that if anything goes wrong, blame it on Trent. The OP is published weekly during the-fall-and winter semesters and monthly [as a magazine] during the sum- mer. We receive our funding from a student levy collected every semester at registra- tion, and from local and national advertising revenue. The Other Press is a member of the Canadian University Press (CUP), a cooperative of student newspapers from across Canada. We adhere to CUP’s Statement of Common Principles and Code of Ethics. The Other Press reserves the right to choose what to pub- lish, and what not to publish, but usually we print every- thing, unless it is racist, sex- ist or homophobic. If you have any quibbles with what we choose, maybe you should get your lazy butt down here and help. Coordinators Athletics ~ Hamish Knox sports@op.douglas.bc.ca Athletics Assistant: Culture ~ Jochen Bierptumpel a&e@op.douglas.bc.ca Culture Assist: Coquitlam ~ Lorenzo Sia cog_coordinator@op. douglas. bc.ca Coq. Assist: Holly Keyes CUP Liaison ~ Cathy Tan cup @op.douglas.bc.ca CUP Assist: Jennifer Swanston Distribution ~ Pierre Florendo Dist. Assist provided by: Features ~ Annette Martin features@op.douglas.bc.ca Feature Assist: News ~ Homan Sanaie news @op.douglas.bc.ca News Assist: OP/Ed ~ Tom Laws opinions @op. douglas. bc.ca OP\Ed Assist: Dunnohername Photography ~ Dave Tam photo@op.douglas. bc.ca Photo Assistant: Kristina Holtz Production ~ Joanna Cole production_co@op.douglas.bc.ca Production Assistants: Webslinger ~ Mark Smeets op_web@op.douglas.bc.ca Web Assistant: Employees Advertising ~ John Morash ad@op.douglas.bc.ca Bookkeeping ~ Zahra Jamal Production Resource ~ Joyce Robinson production@op. douglas. bc.ca Editorial Resource ~ Corene McKay corene@mortimer.com Contributors New Westminster: Jason Humber, Behind the benches fellow, Tom’s Chemistry Homework, Rapid-Hippo Caldwell, Mary Vallis, Jonesy, Cristina Mae N. Gecolea, Mike Quong, Douglas Quan, Jeremy Nelson, Canadian Press, Sean Clark, Gweny Wong. David Lam: Marcel Martin, Mike Cox, Arthur Chan. here are strange people in | the world who are, frankly, scary. They are living, walking and breathing persons who should frighten everyone by their actions. This list is scary folks, read it with a friend. Ted Rogers Bio: Owner of Rogers Media Corporation Misdeeds: Owns Rogers Cable Systems, AT&T Canada long dis- tance, Rogers Video, Cantel cellular corp., Rogers At Home (WAVE) Internet service, Chatelaine magazine, Modern Woman magazine, Flare, MacLean’s, Canadian Business maga- zine, TSC (The Shopping Channel) network, 97 Kiss FM radio, CKWX 1130 AM talk radio, Yahoo! Canada, Quicken Canada, The Electric Library of Canada. Scary? Ted owns a part of every media available. A part of everything you see, hear, or smell in the world is owned by Mr. Rogers who himself is worth as much as Bill Gates (in the billions). Redemption: If you have an over- whelming, unquenchable thirst to anally rape and rob someone, who better if you want complete fulfill- ment in just one victim? Pope John Paul II Bio: An old man next in line for “most powerful gender non specific in the universe” (next to the American presidency).in command of the largest religion in the world. Misdeeds: Asked for forgiveness for the Catholic church’s treatment of people during the Holocaust and for their actions during the first Crusades. Scary? Because he is the mouth- piece of God, he is essentially saying “Oops! The lack of fashion sense Maybe alone should scream evil. God didn’t want us to kill a few million souls for Him. Sorry.” And yet, he still has people flocking to his religion. People who take his every word, lit- erally, as gospel, and will do whatever he tells them to do, despite what common sense may say. Redemption: If you find yourself at the pearly gates, and you've done something really bad that will defi- nitely not get you into heaven, tell St. Peter the Pope made you do it. He's the oldest scapegoat in the good book. David “Popular in Germany” Hasselhoff Bio: 6’4” Baltimore Maryland native Misdeeds: Appeared in The Young and the Restless for six years as a doctor named “Snapper,” as Michael Knight in Knight Rider, and in two of the worst “Wanna see my snapper shows on Doctor Snapper?” earth: Baywatch and Baywatch Nights. Recorded a hokey album in Germany about freedom— cutely called Looking For Freedom. Named one of “TV’s 10 most pow- erful stars.” Given the depth of tele- vision people, this isn't really surpris- ing. Scary? Dave has sex on the brain. Hopefully, his Dr. Snapper role was not about a gynecologist. His best known role (as producer as well as actor) is with a bunch of huge breasted, silicon infested women who can't act. The show is popular all over the world because of the breasts, not because of Dave. His record stayed popular in Germany for eight weeks chiefly because Germans cannot understand the words, and hope he brings Pamela Anderson with him for live perform- ances. Redemption: Der Hasselhoff can get a job after Baywatch as a stripper, as he has larger breasts than most of the lifeguards he works with. He should keep his shirt on. He’s not a young man anymore. Fabio: Bio: Fabio Lanzoni, 37 years old. Waist: 32’’ Chest: 48’’ Biceps: 18’ Brain: 0.000001 ’’ Misdeeds: Is called the “Sexiest Man in the World” for posing on romance noy- els showing off 48” tits, Already infa- mous, he also started push~ ing ‘I Cant Believe It’s Not Butter: Scary? The Make-A-Wish founda- tion had a celebrity bachelor auction in which a date with Mr. I-Can't- Believe-It’s-Not-Butter went to a Fabio with Donnamaie White, now $15 G’s poorer ~F Gr p-Cp 1998 SEAN Cuark SaRRR! IM TRUING TO CHEAT ON MY CHEST! Letter Thanks from the DCSS The Douglas College Student Society would like to thank students for their great support over the last few days in supporting faculty in their fight for a fair settlement. Faculty have proved time and again that they are our allies in working for accessible education. They have supported all of our cam- paigns for tuition fee freezes, and calling on the federal government to make funding education a priority. In their last contract negotiations they actually took a pay cut per stu- dent in order to allow more students into their classes. By standing behind our instruc- tors we have sent a clear message that word California woman for $15, 500! T foundation raised a total of $24, 000 that night. Redemption: With the commerq contract went a lifetime supply of the product, so after the $15, S00 dollar dinner, he and his date won have to worry about finding any lube. 3 One of the wealthier crybabies in the world as well. Patrick Ewing Bio: Aging star of the NBA and ele president of the NBA players association. Misdeeds: Going against league o ers who want to put in place a hard salary cap that would limit players’ salaries. Scary? What the players want is to} have complete control to beg for wha ever stupid salary they want, rather t having a cap like every other sport in North America. Ewing himself makd 4 or S million dollars a year, and the average salary is 2.5 million. Ewing i leading the negotiations to up this salary so that players can get paid eve more for running up and down long pieces of wood to throw a ball throu a net. Scarier? He'll probably get it. Redemption: Perhaps men who dr ble and play with their balls as a pub spectacle deserve to get paid that we WS = S RG ceo ne AQ) they are greatly appreciated and deserve fair contract settlements. Keep up the great work! In solida Amanda Wheeler, Vice President Exte Douglas College Student Sog Page 2 October 28 1998 The Other Press