ec RE I TE TEE OPinion oped@siwash.bc.ca The Spanish Fly Intoxicated with aphrodisiacs, Jezebel ’s research uncovered a substance romantically named ‘Spanish Fly.’ Now she’s feverish, burning, sweating, fainting with desire, glowing with ardour fueled by the flame of passion from within: Jezebel ’s been bitten by the Spanish’F ly. Aphrodisiacs are the inventions of enthusiasts to increase sexual pleasure, to incite arousal, and to deceive young ladies into becoming sex maniacs. Incidently, aphrodisiacs are also thought to be myth. If the experimenter feels any effect whatsoever, it is thought to be mind over matter. Some rather eccentric aphrodisiacs are sow vulvas, Rhinoc- eros horn, swan genitals, snail necks, pork in milk, semen, goat testicles, and camel fat. My preferences sway more towards Cointreau and honey. Yet, I say if a man can improve performance by eating a Rhinocer- os’s horn, then so be it. The only old, and ancient, aphro- disiac known to have physical effects is a substance extracted from a blister beetle, commonly called Spanish Fly or cantharides. However, the effects are somewhat violent. After drying this Mediterranean beetle whole and then crushing it, a tincture is pro- duced that can be deadly. The toxic dose for humans is from 3mg; the fatal dose is 32mg. When swallowed, the first symptoms consist of a burning sensation in the mouth and throat, along with severe abdominal zs cramps and vomiting; J ezebel etel is) le) itten followed by diarrhoea and x the passing of blood in the urine. One must wonder what, then, could be the attraction of using such a substance as an aphrodisiac? In Roget’ Thesaurus, under the heading ‘be in love,’ we find the words, ‘to burn, faint, sweat, burn with love, glow with ardour, flame with passion,’ and so on appear. Coincidentally, the symptoms brought on by Spanish Fly are the same symptoms romantics have, in endless poetry, attributed to the sensation of being in love. There is another possibility: the irritation caused to the urinary tract could lead to an urge for relief. This urge could be satiated through sexual intercourse. In 1954, a tragic incidence where Spanish Fly was lethally adminis- tered is accounted. Two female clerks were given some coconut ice by a male employee. Unbeknownst to them, the ice was filled with can- tharidin. Upon the girls’ death, the man was charged with manslaughter. Cantharidin is now found in wart Why we love BC Transit by Marcel Martin ecently, I was delayed 45 minutes because BC Transit decided to have the 158 bus in Port Coquitlam leave five minutes early. Some people might think “big deal.” Well this is a big deal. My previous bus arrives five minutes after my transfer bus leaves. If any Transit workers in high-ranking positions read this, I ask you “what the hell are you people (I’m being kind here) thinking? Are you thinking? Do you never take the bus? Are you not pissed off when your bus never arrives or arrives too early?” I suggest a complete overhaul of the system. Just tear down the old, useless institution and start over. One popular music manager who oversees Bryan Adams’ career is in favour of placing toll booths on the highways. These toll booths would act as a deterrent to the road hogs in single occupancy vehicles. The revenue collected from the tolls could be used to revamp BC Transit. We could actually achieve a working transit model. Wouldn’t it be great to have HOV lanes free to high speed super-buses? Picture it: squad- rons of high speed buses flying down HOV lanes at 90 km/h. This could be a reality. The West Coast Express could run all day. The rail lines are there. Why aren’t they used more? I personally know a helluva lot of people who would rejoice at the opportunity to use the train; it is the most effective and efficient means of transportation available in the Lower Mainland. I am sure that given the choice between a quick transportation system to downtown or using a car, most people would chose the former. This is not an idealistic pipe-dream. This notion is viable. So now I request of Premier Clark: dismantle BC Transit and reintroduce an effective alternative. I am sure that if Premier Clark achieved this one simple task, he would be re- elected despite his little budget quandary. And, Premier Clark, while you are changing the system, could you make them positive changes? Ones that actually improve the system? Slashing existing transit routes is not in the best interests of Greater Vancouver. I was under the impression that the Greater Vancouver region is expanding. Therefore I assumed that we’d need an increase in transit services, not a decrease. Silly me. Obviously the Vancouver Regional Transit Commission had my best interests in mind when it approved service reductions and changes to sixteen or so transit routes. Obviously Darin Clisby Graphic remover. A case in Canada reports an 18 year old girl swallowing between 1.5 and 2ml of a wart-removing fluid after an argument with her boyfriend. This resulted in ulcerations of her mouth, pharynx and oesophagus. (to take one example) slashing in half the number of buses going to and from Maple Ridge after ten pm is necessary. After all, Maple Ridge must not be a growing community; it must not have exceeded expectations for bus ridership; it must not be a commuter town; and it must be a place of increasing safety after dark. Really, I should take back what I said earlier. Another reward ie taita education... Get $750 towards the purchase or lease of any new GM vehicle. sy She lived, but her heart was extensively damaged by the dose of cantharidin. Used for centuries, Spanish Fly is now obsolete in terms of its availabil- ity as an aphrodisiac, mostly for ethical reasons. Today, it can only be read about in the classical erotic literature of both Europe and Asia. One explicit example appears in John Gay’s Beggar's Opera: “Strait to the pothecary’s shop [sic] I went and in love powder all my money spent behap what will, next Sunday after prayers when to the ale house Lubberkin repairs. Then flies into his mug I’ll throw and soon the swain with fervent love shall glow.” It is probably best that thrill seekers avoid experiencing Spanish Fly in anything other than literature, where sometimes better adventures of the heart are found than in real life. Although Jezebel’s fascination with erotica often gets bitten by the potentially lethal, she recommends that her readers do not delve into the rather sadistic experience of the Spanish Fly at home. OP File Photo I’m beginning to doubt that they _ needed that commuter train in the first place. If BC Transit’s actions aren’t quite making sense to you, feel free to call them up and request a little clarifica- tion. After all, it’s your tax dollars at work. They can be reached at 540-3000 (head office) or 540-3040 (customer services).