10 a Have an idea for a story? M humour@theotherpress.ca ¢ Grub club: a stand-out at clubs fair e Fist bump coming your way e Surprise! Guy you hate invited to your birthday party ..and more Grub club: a stand-out at clubs fair » Guy spends Douglas College student money on tacos Michele Provenzano Staff Writer eall enjoy a lavish meal. But you don’t want to spend all your hard- earned cash, do you? There may be a new a club at Douglas College to alleviate this issue. Last week, the college held its semesterly clubs fair. The Other Press was on the scene in the concourse of New Westminster campus, scoping out the new clubs that seek to recruit members. Many students may feel reluctant to approach the information tables at the fair due to shyness, general apathy, or the inability to relate to any of the niche categories of interests that are represented. My top recommendation for a general interest club with whom any Douglas College student could easily identify and see themselves getting involved? The We Love Food but Don’t Want to Spend Money On It Club. This ground-breaking club plans to hold weekly get-togethers that consist of sharing a meal 2l— specifically, a meal funded by the budget allocated to the club through the Douglas Students’ Union. “So, me and my buddies here heard that clubs get, like, a certain amount of money to spend each semester,” club founder Harold Chow told the Other Press, slouched in the metal folding chair provided for the club’s booth. Two of Chow’s companions hovered nearby. “We figured, like, hey, we love food. Let’s just take that money and get dinner with it once a week.” When asked why they were displaying only an acronym of the club’s name instead of the full name on their table’s signage, the club executives chuckled. A few hushed utterances between the friends followed before Chow spoke up, explaining that the DSU doesn’t yet know exactly what the club’s goals are. “They didn’t really question what the W.L.F.B.D.W.T.S.M.O.L. Club stood for when we filled out the clubs fair application.” Were they worried the mysterious signage would deter potential members? “The thing is, we're not actually trying to attract that many people,” said Chow. “We just need enough names to make the club official. After that, the more people we have, the less food each of us get, so that’s lame. I might just forge the rest of the signatures so it can be just the three of us.” When prompted to explain what greater purpose the club will serve the Douglas College community, Chow stated he didn’t understand the question. However, he said the club’s first catered meal will be a build-your-own-taco bar. “Uh, wait, actually, can we not put this in the paper?” said Chow. “Dude, we can't have word spreading about us or else there's barely gonna be enough to go around.” *Note: This club has not yet been officially ratified. The Douglas Student’s Union declined to comment. Heartbreaking: guy realizes his party | anecdote doesn't have a funny conclusion » Man at centre of attention makes earth-shattering mistake Richard Dick Contributor am Grammar went to a party this weekend in hopes of making friends but instead made headlines with the tragedy of his fatal social-gathering disaster. The third-year student was invited to an intimate friend gathering for the first time and was anxious due to the social pressure to be likeable and funny at a party. The Other Press interviewed witnesses at the scene about the incident. Jenny Spenny, host and official person to impress if you want to get into the friend group, was in the conversation circle when it happened. “Grammar seemed so confident at the beginning of his story. No one really knows him well, so you know that everyone in the circle was eagerly listening to his story and actually paying full attention. By the time he got to the mid-way point his voice started to drop and trail off a little. His eyes went totally blank for a second and he mumbled a ‘but I guess that’s it’ That’s when the rest of us realized that the mid-way point was the end of the story. We all attempted a chuckle, but it was too late for it to be anything but an awkward pity-chuckle.” What a tragic story. We asked witnesses what the worst part of the disaster was, and this is what Guy Man, party attendee and Party Anecdote Expert (PAE), had to say: “At the end, Grammar tried to make a joke about how bad the conclusion to his anecdote was, but when he chimed in to make that joke—someone else also started telling a different anecdote. The guy telling the new anecdote foolishly insisted that Grammar say what he was going to say, and after much hesitation, Grammar said “Honestly, I was just going to say that I probably shouldn't quit my day job to tell anecdotes.” It was an admirable attempt at a comeback, but the timing was so just bad that no one could really laugh.” How can one comeback from this and move forward? Our Other Press reporter asks. On this topic, Guy Man states: “You know it’s one of those things that happens to everyone, but I would recommend keeping your anecdotes on flashcards like I do. A few of the cards I have on hand now are ‘awful ex-girlfriend; ‘sassy mother, ‘cute pet, and ‘fun childhood anecdote,;— which are good for any situation—and ‘bizarrely and unnecessarily personal story’ for those who are into that kind of stuff” “I do feel for Grammar though. I guess experiencing that level social tragedy is just one of those great little realities of life that we all get to live in anticipation of,” said Guy Man. In other news, a random guy at the party who overheard Grammar’s mistake decided to use that as his anecdote on newcomers to the party. The whole group he was speaking to laughed, and one a guy shot beer out of his nose. It seems that Grammar’s anecdote was a good anecdote after all.