= oO
= DOWN SIDES

 

Darren Paterson, Sports Editor

Well, the banks are after me again. And
with the amount of money I owe, I’m not
surprised. Combine them with the Visa
people, the Fido people, and my mom and
dad, and I’m in a pretty pickle here. And I
mean that metaphorically. So in order to
blow off a little money-related steam, I’d
like to take a moment to reflect on the
down side of sports.

Money. It’s the cursed blessing of the
sports world. Sweet god! A paradox in the
sports section! [ll explain, just hold on.
Let’s start with the blessing bit. Everyone
loves big-money sports because they
attract top-level athletes from around the
world. Why don’t guys like Markus
Naslund, Yao Ming, and Ichiro Suzuki
stay in their home countries to play their
respective sports? Because there’s more

 

money in North America. And by North
America I, of course, mean: America.
This is where the money’s at and that’s
why we get the treat of watching the
world’s greatest athletes in prime time.
(With the exclusion of soccer players, of
course.) Not only that, but the skill level
of these athletes is always getting pushed
higher as other athletes fight to play bet-
ter and this
paper-filled pie. Ergo, money attracts not
only the best but the better as well.
(Another paradox!? You'll figure it out.)

get a slice of green

And then, of course, money begets more
money, thanks to wonderful advertising,
TV broadcasting deals, and the help of
big spenders like George Steinbrunner.
But wait! This is where the negative bit
comes in. This is when politics becomes
an issue. At this point, the sports are no
longer about the athletes but about the
athletes and the money. Suddenly the
expectations of the athletes grow higher.
If they make so much money then they
should give back to the community. They
should be happy to play a game for a liv-
ing and sign autographs whenever
requested. They should give up their nor-
mal lives for the sake of this money. By
accepting these responsibilities athletes
forget about playing the game and start
thinking about the money and the promos
and the autograph sessions instead. And
the guys spending the money start think-
ing up intelligent ways to exploit their
assets in order to make more money. And

 

then the NHL locks out... .

Sorry, I didn’t mean to use a specific
league as an example there, because this is
an issue that spans all pro sports. They all
start small and low-budget and then if
they create a strong fan base, they start to
make some money and then all hell breaks
loose. Take soccer, for example. Soccer
used to be a university-only sport where
everyone was a volunteer. Now it’s the
biggest money-making sport in the world,
with athletes signing contracts well into
the tens of millions. And if you want an
example of this ugly transformation,
check out the NLL. Right now, the players
all work outside jobs in addition to their
National Lacrosse League (NLL) jobs.
However, with the NHL lockout, the

league should see an excellent increase in
their revenue. TV networks, desperate to
fill the spots that the NHL games previ-
ously held, will start paying the league a
tractor or two full of gold for broadcast-
ing rights. And fans will go buy tickets to
fill their fix. And before you know it, this
will be a big money league and players will
no longer work outside jobs. Then we'll
get to pay a pound of flesh for game tick-
ets and another sport will be lost. Lost
just like the money from my overdraft at
the bank. And lost just like Pve got to get
before they drop by my house again. So,
until next time, that’s the down side of
sports.

 

 

Lockout. Week 4.

The lockout continues and what was to be
the beginning of the regular season has
come and gone with but a whimper. Of
course there was some finger pointing and
name calling, and Bettman and the own-
ers threw a couple of rocks before the bell
rang and everyone had to go back inside,
but at least the fans can be safe in the
knowledge that it’s everybody’s fault.

The Vancouver Giants are checking
the padding in their helmets as Brad May
is setting up a charity game that could see
the return of Todd Bertuzzi to the ice.
Other notable names tossed out were

18 | OUNEPPPESS

Lockout Gorner

Darren Paterson, Sports Editor

Naslund, Roenick, and
Tkachuk. So keep your eyes peeled for
that.

Steve Belkin, one of the owners of the
Atlanta Thrashers, told everyone that the
NHL is planning on using replacement
players for the 2005/2006 season before
he was shot in the head by Bettman et al.

Also hit hard by the lockout were
NHL officials. Yet the refs have sucked it
up and taken ugly jobs like car salesmen
and kitchen cabineters...cabinetry men?

Jovanovski,

In any case, they’ve taken on shitty jobs.
But the nice part is the reason why.
Apparently all the officials made a pact to

 

not work in other hockey leagues so that
they wouldn’t take away jobs from other
officials. I am personally very impressed
with this gesture, as I know that there are
about 203 really pissed off players in
Europe right now.

And finally, TV networks have been
scrambling and have put together some
fairly impressive packages. Sportsnet is

showing Giants games and AHL games,
TSN is showing heritage games, and CBC
has poor old Ron MacLean hosting Movie
Night in Canada. For more info, check out
their respective websites (just add .ca). Or
maybe get out of the house and down to
the playground for some live-action tid-
dlywinks. Your call.

Benbver §=en/e0ol