Women by Vignettes Jong of Nan Inequality Kim yh Mate) bl rT starving | student? initiative. Interested? Call 525-3542, email ads@op.douglas.be.ca or drop by room 1020 New West campus and ask for John Morash. The Other Press. Room 1020 Join the conspiracy. EVERYBODY AGREES THAT EVERYONE is equal in theory. However, we are perfectly certain that people are not all equal in everyday life and at ordinary times. We are aware of the necessity of equality between men and women, but the women are not liberated yet. One bay Mr. L wHo was AN old bachelor said to me, “I'd like to ~ live in a western style mansion, have an delicious spicy Chinese dinner and marry an obedient Japanese woman.” In Japan once a girl’s age is over 25, she is teased and called a “Christmas Cake,” because when we buy a holiday cake after the season is past the price is cheap and the cake has lost its fresh taste. So the old maid is compared to the day old cake. Miss S was My COL- LEAGUE WHEN I worked in Korea as a school teacher. She was always active and cheerful. At that time she was in her late 30s. She was really enjoying her single life. One day, after work, she asked me to go to the coffee shop with her. She looked pale and seemed to have some problem. While we had tea together I saw her eyes were red with tears. At last she confessed to me,“I can’t believe this. The vice principal called me in this after- noon and asked me why I haven’t got married yet and my age is almost 40. He even asked me if I have some serious physical problem. I was shocked at that silly question. We are living in the 20th century for God’s sake. Now my friend is almost 50 and is still enjoying being single. My CANADIAN FRIEND Mary lives with her husband and their two little kids. Recently, she started working at the bank part-time. Several days ago, she phoned me and com- plained about her manager, “I can’t believe that my manager was griping about my last name. Do you know why? Because I have not changed my maiden name since I got married. It is my choice. We’ve got to change that old man- oriented consciousness.” Her voice fuses with excitement. WHEN MY NEIGHBOR LINDA, a writer, found her last name was incorrect in her byline, she called the editor and demanded he correct it. Unfortunately, since the editor knew her husband’s name, he took her last name for granted. Linda is a very industrious professor and is proud of keeping her maiden name. ONE OF MY FAVORITE MUSIC cassettes, Park Gospel Collection, has an interesting cover story. The artist He Kyung Jung—since He Kyung got married to an Korean-Ameri- can, she uses her two last names. The women in Korea never change’ their last names when they get married. Only their children follow their fathers’ last names. It’s their tradition. So in this way, the Koreans seem to respect women’s rights more than Western societies. UN promotes AN International Women’s Day on March 8. In Canada, we've had a Women’s History Month every October since 1929. Canadian women were appointed to the Upper House of parliament at that time. THERE IS A SONG about the wom- en’s liberation: “Moving Mountains Female Priest Holly Bear Tanksle “Don't be afraid to find your gift One woman pushing won’t make the mountain move, Two women pushing won’t make the mountain move, Let’s move mountains together.” The women’s liberation move- ment does not mean women shoul imitate men. Women need to overcome their persecution com- plex. As the song suggest, when w4 all work together with conscious- ness our future will be bright. The Day of Equality between men and women will come. ...Emma continued I want to give some advice to women who suffer from traditional restrictions or from unsuccessful marriages, but it is not easy to give advice and I know most professional psychiatrists usually avoid it. So before any advice, I would like to tell a little bit more about my history. When I was little, I collected wise sayings, and when I became a young women, I decided to pursue wisdom. However, without knowing what life was, I fell in love and got married. I worked hard and had three young boys. In 1974, I had my own business as a business agent. Money started to come. However, by 1982, 1 decided to take my boys to San Francisco for better living and education, and my husband joined us for only two years. Later, he decided to stay in Taiwan with his parents. My dream of having a complete family was “broken and my emotion was disturbed. furious and depressed. Fortu- nately, I did not forget my pursuit of wisdom. When I reached out, I was helped by spiritual healing books, workshops and lectures. After a soulful seeking for a solution to my misery, I do know a few things good for women who suffer from traditions and unsuccessful marriages. If you ever come across books like Zen, they will tell you to sleep when you are tired, and eat when you are hungry. This truth is so simple, but 1 found that we usually can not take this basic advice until one day we realize how true it is. Here is my advice: for people who are restricted by traditions 1) Keep learning by reading psycho- logical spiritual healing books. 2) Study your position in the family and try your best not to confront your author- ity figure. If you do, you will not get what you want. Be quiet and tactful and wait for your opportunity. 3) To avoid violence, remember to keep a good manner which is always a winning strategy. 4) Save money for yourself. 5)Recognize your wounds and find a time and place to meditate regularly. Believe that you are safe and will be healed. 6) Try and train yourself not to waste even one minute on understanding your tradition and try your best to do your duties at home. 8) When there is a new concept from other culture, study the differences but do not force it too quickly into your old traditions — change things slowly. One day you will be strong enough to do something for yourself. For women who are suffering unsuccessful marriages: 1) Please use some of the advice above. 2) Accept your own responsibility for having this marriage. 3) Stop complaining and criticizing immediately because it can only waste your time and worsen the situation. 4) Pamper yourself by eating and sleeping well. Take good care of your body. 5) Speak less, and try to keep the household in order. Chaos will only reflect your chaotic inner being. 6) Keep looking good for yourself and doing exercise. 7) Try to learn a lesson from this marriage, usually it means that you need to gro’ more spiritually. 8) Continue your spiritual learning and watch your For all women, we need to know that we have love and feelings way to much for others. We need to learn to love ourselves first and strengthen o' self-worth, and we must not change others before we change ourselves This earth is a school of learning, only when we are gentle with ourselves, should we not be able to live in harmony with others. The true liberation is a spiritual path from human consciousness to divine consciousness. Love and take care of yourself first, but be sensitive to others! 5” Why work for peanuts when you can sell them? Starting your own business is one way to guarantee yourself a job this summer. If you're a full-time student returning to school this fall and legally entitled to work in Canada, the Student Business Loans Program, part of the government of Canada’s Student Summer Job Action program, is offering loans of up to $3,000 to help you start a business. Details are available at any branch of the Business Development Bank of Canada, Human Resource Centres of Canada, Human Resource Centres of Canada for Students, any branch of the Royal Bank of Canada or the National Bank of Canada. Just come to us with your idea, and we'll see what we can do about putting you to work for someone you really like. You. Call toll-free: 1 888 INFO BDC (463-6232). Human Resources Development Canada i+f Développement des ressources humaines Canada Qeoc Business Development Bank of Canada Banque de développement du Canada - Canada NATIONAL BANQUE BANK NATIONALE ROYAL BANK BANQUE ROYALE 8 March 4,1997 The Other Press